Just sitting here in Mellon Square contemplating my civic duty as I
look at the American Flag waving in the breeze on top of whatever
building houses Burlington Coat Factory. Truth, justice and the American way and all that jazz. Tomorrow I head off to court
to hopefully get a criminal locked up for a little while. Sadly we do
not have Sharia law in such instances, I am all for chopping off the
hands of thieves. I think that would be more of a deterrent than jail,
where a person is out of sight, out of mind for the masses. Obviously
having one less hand is a deterrent to grabbing things to begin with,
simply because you have one fewer hand to do any sort of grabbing. And
the chopping of hands would provide a visual deterrent to others as
well, you see enough people walking around sans half of their digits,
and perhaps people would think twice before jamming something in their
pocket without paying for it.
Instead I will
go sit through this hearing tomorrow,our thief will get a slap on the
wrist and be back out doing the same shit tomorrow. I expect this will
be a waste of time in my part, time that I could be doing sales numbers
or checking in orders. Should make for a long day, knowing the way
government usually moves, at postal speed. I often wonder if an object
moving at warp speed collides with something moving at postal speed,
does it result in an anti-time eruption? Would it shred the very fabric
of this reality?
I just fed some of the
birds here the potato chips from my lunch. Not the pigeons though,
those things are just rats with wings. Now to watch these birds try to
fly around with potato chips in their beaks, without losing the chips.
You don't get quality shit like this on cable TV.
Oh
well, we are one step closer to Friday, though I will save writing
about Friday for when ( and if ) it happens. Sorry I am not the eternal
optimist, not that I am a pessimist either, I like to think of myself
as a realist.
I just stood up after sitting
here Indian style ( or is that Native American style, for those in the
politically correct set ) and I stood up to light a cigarette and my
knee just popped. I swear it felt better than sex. But when you
haven't had sex in as long as I have ( if women were like water, my life
would be the desert ) everything feels better, because the mind forgets
how good sex can be.
Well I should be
getting out of here, I still have things to do tonight and I am not
getting them done sitting in the park feeding the birds playing on my
iPad, either typing here or playing MPQ.
I am sure I will be back, just don't know what time yet or from where.
While
I was sitting here I got a text about joining a fantasy football league
I was in last year. Of course I said yes, it's fantasy football after
all. This is the same league that last year I lost two playoff games by
less than 3 points combined, that would be all kinds of non mojo
action. Anyway I should be going home, I have a fantasy league to
sign up for, dinner to eat, what looks like clear skies tonight so there
will be meteors to watch.
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Well this could be interesting, I typed out a decent length portion of
this blog earlier, I even teased some of it on Facebook, and I had a
plan in mind. I would go to the laundrymat, sit outside while my
clothes washed and dried while watching for meteors again and finishing
this blog. It is my version of multitasking, doing three things at
once.
While I am sitting at home though I got an email saying my iCloud account was almost full. Did I want to buy more space ( fuck no ) and if not I could adjust my setting so that not everything I do is being saved to the cloud. So I go about my merry way thinking, I don't need photos, they almost all end up on Facebook anyway, I don't need notes, I can keep those on my tablet and delete them as necessary, I don't need my Safari bookmarks, because I never use bookmarks on Safari. Yada, yada, yada.
So I leave my humble abode and come to do laundry, I throw my clothes in the washer, walk up to Quick Stop and grab a Snapple and some little Debbie cakes, sit down to start typing and whatever I did earlier, my entry is gone. Poof and not the magic dragon kind either. So when I get home I get to see if I can resurrect it by switching things back, but chances are, grabbing my magic 8 ball " Not Likely".
Shame too because this is a perfect night for star gazing and for blogging, a nice cool breeze is blowing, the moon isn't out so the sky is a little less brighter than normal, though being in the city it still sucks.
The chocolate on my little Debbie treats is somewhat melted, perhaps it was too warm in the store for them, all I know is I am glad I brought my stylus to type with, otherwise it would look like I am wiping shit all over my iPad screen. And God forbid I dust myself off after getting up from sitting outside on the laundry at steps, it would look like I shit myself.
So I dealt with the new vendor today, we got our order in from them. It wasn't much of an order so much as it was me guessing at things. I knew some cigarettes that I had to order ,beyond that it was whatever I wanted to get. Letting me spend someone else's money is not as bad as it seems, I tend to be responsible with it, so I pawed through their catalog and looked for things I couldn't get elsewhere or that we didn't have. I saw some Hostess stuff, some muffins and what not, some crinkle cut French fries, some cans of gravy. Just stupid stuff to show this new vendor that we could and do order anything ( we still are downtown Pittsburgh's largest purveyor of pigs feet after all).
So I am opening these boxes, and anytime I open stuff to be put away it can turn into an episode of Glee ( complete with my horrible singing ). Where else are you going to get someone singing "Mac and cheese" to Cher's "Gypsies Tramps and Thieves". The song also works with pork and beans. Just saying is all. Or to be singing ""Always" and Forever" while putting away the women's stuff. Or to start doing the Clapper commercial in the very same section, "Tamp - on, tamp - off" etc, etc, etc. Of course I sing Iggy Popp's "Candy" while putting away candy. I even drop in a little Billy Bob Thorton while checking the open air coolers, "Whaddaya got in there that's good to eat. French fried pertaters. I reckon I'll have me some of the bigguns.
So as I am opening stuff today, I get to the box with the Hostess goodies in it, 3 different types of muffins and pies. So I go all Richard Jeni, I look at Sammy and say "Sure Jim, slam it up my ass, I was just going to get us some pie." Sorry, but it is still one of the funniest comedic bits I have ever seen in my 46 years on this planet. I should get it on DVD some day, just as a pick me up when I am feeling depressed. Between that and " Better Off Dead", there are few things in life that can rebound me quite like those two can. Really, who didn't have a crush on the French foreign exchange student back in the day?
I fired up one of my downloaded podcasts and just realized my coffee thing is on Frogman Friday. Hope that doesn't mess with my mojo. The coffee thing I am eluding to is I am supposed to meet the author of "Oh Honestly Erin" for coffee Friday afternoon. I am loathe to call it a date, because it isn't. It is just two Pittsburgh bloggers getting together for coffee. That doesn't mean I can't have fun with it at work with Ed. I tease him that I met a female on the Internet, meanwhile he is the owner of the Ashleymadison profile. I need to get more mileage out of that profile though. It isn't working as well as when I got him to send away for pen pals from womenbehindbars.com. Anyone else out there get their boss to correspond with prison chicks? Didn't think so, that merit badge is all mine, even if it did increase my workload by writing letters. Some times you have to put in the effort to get the comedy out of life.
Look like my laundry is done, time to go home and see if I can rescue the rest of this blog. Maybe not just yet, seems the towels are not dry, so back in they go. Think I will spend the additional time star gazing for a while.
While I am sitting at home though I got an email saying my iCloud account was almost full. Did I want to buy more space ( fuck no ) and if not I could adjust my setting so that not everything I do is being saved to the cloud. So I go about my merry way thinking, I don't need photos, they almost all end up on Facebook anyway, I don't need notes, I can keep those on my tablet and delete them as necessary, I don't need my Safari bookmarks, because I never use bookmarks on Safari. Yada, yada, yada.
So I leave my humble abode and come to do laundry, I throw my clothes in the washer, walk up to Quick Stop and grab a Snapple and some little Debbie cakes, sit down to start typing and whatever I did earlier, my entry is gone. Poof and not the magic dragon kind either. So when I get home I get to see if I can resurrect it by switching things back, but chances are, grabbing my magic 8 ball " Not Likely".
Shame too because this is a perfect night for star gazing and for blogging, a nice cool breeze is blowing, the moon isn't out so the sky is a little less brighter than normal, though being in the city it still sucks.
The chocolate on my little Debbie treats is somewhat melted, perhaps it was too warm in the store for them, all I know is I am glad I brought my stylus to type with, otherwise it would look like I am wiping shit all over my iPad screen. And God forbid I dust myself off after getting up from sitting outside on the laundry at steps, it would look like I shit myself.
So I dealt with the new vendor today, we got our order in from them. It wasn't much of an order so much as it was me guessing at things. I knew some cigarettes that I had to order ,beyond that it was whatever I wanted to get. Letting me spend someone else's money is not as bad as it seems, I tend to be responsible with it, so I pawed through their catalog and looked for things I couldn't get elsewhere or that we didn't have. I saw some Hostess stuff, some muffins and what not, some crinkle cut French fries, some cans of gravy. Just stupid stuff to show this new vendor that we could and do order anything ( we still are downtown Pittsburgh's largest purveyor of pigs feet after all).
So I am opening these boxes, and anytime I open stuff to be put away it can turn into an episode of Glee ( complete with my horrible singing ). Where else are you going to get someone singing "Mac and cheese" to Cher's "Gypsies Tramps and Thieves". The song also works with pork and beans. Just saying is all. Or to be singing ""Always" and Forever" while putting away the women's stuff. Or to start doing the Clapper commercial in the very same section, "Tamp - on, tamp - off" etc, etc, etc. Of course I sing Iggy Popp's "Candy" while putting away candy. I even drop in a little Billy Bob Thorton while checking the open air coolers, "Whaddaya got in there that's good to eat. French fried pertaters. I reckon I'll have me some of the bigguns.
So as I am opening stuff today, I get to the box with the Hostess goodies in it, 3 different types of muffins and pies. So I go all Richard Jeni, I look at Sammy and say "Sure Jim, slam it up my ass, I was just going to get us some pie." Sorry, but it is still one of the funniest comedic bits I have ever seen in my 46 years on this planet. I should get it on DVD some day, just as a pick me up when I am feeling depressed. Between that and " Better Off Dead", there are few things in life that can rebound me quite like those two can. Really, who didn't have a crush on the French foreign exchange student back in the day?
I fired up one of my downloaded podcasts and just realized my coffee thing is on Frogman Friday. Hope that doesn't mess with my mojo. The coffee thing I am eluding to is I am supposed to meet the author of "Oh Honestly Erin" for coffee Friday afternoon. I am loathe to call it a date, because it isn't. It is just two Pittsburgh bloggers getting together for coffee. That doesn't mean I can't have fun with it at work with Ed. I tease him that I met a female on the Internet, meanwhile he is the owner of the Ashleymadison profile. I need to get more mileage out of that profile though. It isn't working as well as when I got him to send away for pen pals from womenbehindbars.com. Anyone else out there get their boss to correspond with prison chicks? Didn't think so, that merit badge is all mine, even if it did increase my workload by writing letters. Some times you have to put in the effort to get the comedy out of life.
Look like my laundry is done, time to go home and see if I can rescue the rest of this blog. Maybe not just yet, seems the towels are not dry, so back in they go. Think I will spend the additional time star gazing for a while.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Okay it is part three of this blog, at this rate it is going to read
like a damn Shakespearean play "what doth he write about now?" So I
made it back from the laundromat, I always go late because they are open
24/7 and no one is there late at night so it is relatively peaceful.
Plus if one desires, they do have cable TV and Wifi, though you have to
have an xfinity account to use the wifi.
But I am back outside, just sitting outside my apartment typing away with Pandora on. Right now it is playing ABBA, just a little something to piss off the incoming college students. I got home and fired up the laptop and opened up iCloud.com and sure enough the first portion of my blog was still there. Whew! I really didn't want to try to recreate that.
In the Ghetto just came on, what an awesome tune. I think my Pandora station likes me tonight. Then again I have about 2000 different ratings on my Pandora station, so it should get a song or two right. I haven't invested as much time on this as I did on Launchcast, another of Yahoo's epic failures. It was literally Pandora before Pandora was Pandora, except their rating system involved stars, from 1 to 4 and you could rate songs or artists, or you could opt to never hear a song or artist again. I have over 5000 ratings on it before Yahoo sold it off to CBS radio. I believe it was a derivative from Mark Cuban's broadcast.com that he sold to Yahoo back before the tech bubble burst. I want to say Cuban sold it for 5.7 billion dollars, then Yahoo drove it right into the ground. Yahoo has always been bassackwards though, so anytime there is a news story about how Yahoo is going to acquire such and such company, my first thought is how are they going to fuck it up. The problem isn't the ideas, in many regards they were ahead of their time, but they were never able to find a way to monetize their ideas. Many of the people on my friends list on Facebook are friends I met by staying up late at night and playing cards on Yahoo, usually Pyramids. Yes Yahoo had games, with chat rooms attached so you could converse while you played. Most of the links to those games are dead ends now, gone into the void of the Internet.
Next to fall victim was Yahoo messenger, one of the forerunners in chat applications. It had video, audio, the ability to hide oneself if they were creepy stalker guy ( not that I would know anything about that ) a boatload of chat rooms for varied interests, and an ability to view a persons Yahoo profile from the chat window as well as the ability to archive messages. Technically I think Yahoo messenger still works, as long as you know someone else who uses it, which is like finding someone who has been abducted by aliens, no chat rooms exist anymore, nor do the Yahoo profiles or the message archiving. If Facebook's messenger feature is like a brand new washer, Yahoo would be taking your clothes down to the river and beating them off of a rock.
Of course I have mentioned it in the past, but the biggest failure for me from the Yahoo family of fuckups was Yahoo 360, Yahoo's foray into blogging. It amazes me with the tools they had at their disposal they could fuck up so bad. It was literally blogspot/blogger before Google made a dent in the blogging arena. Custom layouts, the ability to add pictures ( Flickr), a newsfeed to keep you updated on what others wrote. It was so simple to use too, even I could do it and I don't know shit about coding or html. The only thing I know about blogging is the scribbling part, which I have done quite a bit of this evening.
Speaking of scribbling, there will be no act 4 or 5 to this entry, I think I am done here for the night. It's late enough that everyone is probably in bed, I should join them, well not in the literal sense. That would be all kinds of creepy, wouldn't it?
But I am back outside, just sitting outside my apartment typing away with Pandora on. Right now it is playing ABBA, just a little something to piss off the incoming college students. I got home and fired up the laptop and opened up iCloud.com and sure enough the first portion of my blog was still there. Whew! I really didn't want to try to recreate that.
In the Ghetto just came on, what an awesome tune. I think my Pandora station likes me tonight. Then again I have about 2000 different ratings on my Pandora station, so it should get a song or two right. I haven't invested as much time on this as I did on Launchcast, another of Yahoo's epic failures. It was literally Pandora before Pandora was Pandora, except their rating system involved stars, from 1 to 4 and you could rate songs or artists, or you could opt to never hear a song or artist again. I have over 5000 ratings on it before Yahoo sold it off to CBS radio. I believe it was a derivative from Mark Cuban's broadcast.com that he sold to Yahoo back before the tech bubble burst. I want to say Cuban sold it for 5.7 billion dollars, then Yahoo drove it right into the ground. Yahoo has always been bassackwards though, so anytime there is a news story about how Yahoo is going to acquire such and such company, my first thought is how are they going to fuck it up. The problem isn't the ideas, in many regards they were ahead of their time, but they were never able to find a way to monetize their ideas. Many of the people on my friends list on Facebook are friends I met by staying up late at night and playing cards on Yahoo, usually Pyramids. Yes Yahoo had games, with chat rooms attached so you could converse while you played. Most of the links to those games are dead ends now, gone into the void of the Internet.
Next to fall victim was Yahoo messenger, one of the forerunners in chat applications. It had video, audio, the ability to hide oneself if they were creepy stalker guy ( not that I would know anything about that ) a boatload of chat rooms for varied interests, and an ability to view a persons Yahoo profile from the chat window as well as the ability to archive messages. Technically I think Yahoo messenger still works, as long as you know someone else who uses it, which is like finding someone who has been abducted by aliens, no chat rooms exist anymore, nor do the Yahoo profiles or the message archiving. If Facebook's messenger feature is like a brand new washer, Yahoo would be taking your clothes down to the river and beating them off of a rock.
Of course I have mentioned it in the past, but the biggest failure for me from the Yahoo family of fuckups was Yahoo 360, Yahoo's foray into blogging. It amazes me with the tools they had at their disposal they could fuck up so bad. It was literally blogspot/blogger before Google made a dent in the blogging arena. Custom layouts, the ability to add pictures ( Flickr), a newsfeed to keep you updated on what others wrote. It was so simple to use too, even I could do it and I don't know shit about coding or html. The only thing I know about blogging is the scribbling part, which I have done quite a bit of this evening.
Speaking of scribbling, there will be no act 4 or 5 to this entry, I think I am done here for the night. It's late enough that everyone is probably in bed, I should join them, well not in the literal sense. That would be all kinds of creepy, wouldn't it?
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