Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The 2008 Argonauts, the frozen pond edition

It is time to meet the 2008-2009 Argonauts hockey roster. At some point we will do a season recap on the baseball team, but for now we look forward to the white hot competitive action that is hockey starting Saturday. 10 teams entered the league this year, and showing how good I am at the commissionary position, I got to draft 9th (memo to self, cheat on draft order next year). This means all of the stud offensive talent would be off the board by the time I picked (I am looking at yous Crosby, Malkin and Ovechkin) so I had the honor of doing what the Steelers do far to often on draft day, rather than draft for need, they take the best player available. Thankfully, unlike the Steelers, with a roster of zero people going in, any player drafted is also filling a need. That being said, a quick rundown on who ended up on my roster before we drop the puck and get this thing started. Starting with our first pick........

1) Martin Brodeur G - This is about as safe a pick as you can make in hockey. Remarkably consistent in goal, he has won 40 or more games in 7 of the last ten years (the other three were 39, 38 and 38 wins). Rarely will a take a flier this early in the draft, and having someone this consistent fall to the #9 spot was perfectly fine with me.

2) Pavel Datsyuk C - Consistently has gotten better in every year in the league, last year was his best to date, registering 97 points (31 G, 66 A) and with the addition of Marian Hossa to the Red Wings roster, that total could improve again this year.

3) Rick Nash LW - Maybe my first reach of the draft taking him this early, but has totaled 30 or more goals in three of his 5 years in the league while surrounded with less than stellar talent and left wing is usually the offensive position with the least amount of depth when drafting for fantasy purposes.

4) Paul Stastny C - Youth and depth in the same package, as this pick solidifies my center position, and while he has only been in the league two years, he has averaged over a point per game during that span (149 points in 148 career games).

5) Alexander Frolov LW - Probably a little early for him to be taken, but like I said before, left wing is probably the hardest to draft for given the lack of talent there, he has tallied 20+ goals in each of the last four years and has a career +/- number of +30 while playing for the less than defensively capable Los Angeles Kings.

6) Miroslav Satan RW - This was my first real reach pick, he has only scored 40 or more goals once, has never tallied more than 75 points in any season and is coming off of his worst year (16 G, 25 A) in the league since his first two years, despite playing in 79 games last season. That being said , he will start the year on the Penguins first line, with Sydney Crosby as his center, which should provide ample opportunites to add to his paltry totals of last season. And really, it is going to be so cool to buy a jersey in Pittsburgh black and gold with the name Satan on the back.

7) Nikolai Zherdev RW - Posted his best year of his career last year in Columbus (26 G, 35 A) in just his fourth year in the league, he did what any Blue Jacket with a modicum of talent should do, which is, get out of Columbus. Now with the New York Rangers, he will be surrounded with a much greater array of talent to work with, there is no reason he shouldn't improve on last years totals.

8) Markus Naslund LW - Another guy who hopes that moving to the Rangers will be a benefit to his career. The question is will I get the Naslund of the last two years, who didn't score more than 60 points, or the previous 4 years, where he never had less than 75. This is a depth pick, we only start two left wings so it won't make or break my roster, but when taking a flier on someone, it is always nice to take one on a guy that has performed in the past as opposed to someone who has never performed.

9) Martin Biron G - Goaltending is a tricky thing, I would say it is always better to draft a starting goaltender from a bad team than a backup from a good one, because you will get more starts and chances for wins from the guy who plays every day. It is like drafting a closer in baseball, even a closer on a bad team can get you decent numbers. The fact Biron plays for the Philadelphia Flyers, Eastern Conference runners up to the Peguins last year, means I don't even have to worry about him playing for a bad team per se. His numbers last year were respectable, 30-20 (9 OTL) with a 2.59 GAA and a .918 save percentage while recording 5 shutouts, while playing in 62 games, the most he has played in in the last 6 seasons, so he hasn't gotten the wear and tear that some goalies in the league have over that span.

10) Jonathon Cheechoo RW - Coming off a disappointing season (23 G, 14 A), he is still young by NHL standrads, entering just his 6th season and is only two seasons removed from a 93 point season (56 G, 37 A) and like Naslund, I would rather have a guy that has performed in the past than one who hasn't.

11) Andrej Meszaros D - In the league, we start 2 C, 2 LW, 2 RW and four defensemen. Obviously, I haven't addressed the last need yet, because, after the first couple of defensemen on the board, you pretty much reach the Eli Whitney stage of the draft, they are all interchangeable parts. Still I need 4 of these guys, so this was the first one I took, and in his three years in the league he has been remarkably consistent, with point totals of 29,28 and 27.

12) Dustin Byfuglien D, LW - This was a cheat pick of sorts, he qualifies as a defenseman as that was his position through his career but last season Chicago started playing him on the left wing as well, which gives him multiple uses. Given the Blackhawks plan on playing him primarily on the wing this year, including on the power play, I can in essence plug in an extra offensive guy in a defensive slot. He did pick up 19 goals in his dual role last year, which is more than most defenseman tally.

13) Manny Legace G - This is for depth at the goaltender position, as while we only start two goaltenders on any given day, the more starts you can roll up in a given week, the better your chance of tallying wins. While St Louis isn't a good team, remember what I said about goaltenders on bad teams, Legace has had a winning record in goal in each of the past eight seasons, including going 27-25 last year with a 2.41 GAA and a .911 save percentage and 5 shutouts. For a third goaltender, I will take those numbers.

14) Jordan Staal C, LW - More depth, this time at the center position. I wouldn't have taken him even this early if he had played the role he did last year for the Penguins as third line center, as it only resulted in 28 points (12 G, 16 A), but the Penguins plan on playing him on a line with Evgeni Malkin and Petr Sykora, which should result in an output more along the lines of his rookie season (if not better) when he tallied 29 goals (42 pts).

15) Ruslan Salei D - Two defensemen down, two to go. One category that I hadn't addressed yet was penalty minutes. I hate getting a guy that is only a goon, because he kills you in every other category, he usually gets no points and ruins your +/- number. That being said, Salei has nabbed 424 penalty minutes over the last four years but kept his +/- at an even 0. Heck he has even chipped in 96 points over that span, so it seemed to be a safe if uninspiring pick.

16) Martin Erat RW - Another depth pick, nothing more. Consistent, getting 57 points each of the last two years, and 49 in each of the two before that, I probably won't play him unless he is the only guy available on a given night. Not that I dislike the guy, I just think I have better options on my roster.

17) Shea Weber D - I am at the point of filling out my roster, just needed one more defenseman to fill out my four starting slots and I am taking a flier on this guy. In his only full season in the NHL, he posted a respectable 17 G, 23 A but in his three years in the league, he has only play over 60 games once.

18) Stephane Robidas D - My last pick and it is simply a depth one. The good thing about Robidas is that his last season was probably his best one, the bad thing is his best season only equated into pedsetrian numbers, the only bright spot being that of his 9 goals last year, 7 came on the power play, and power play points is one of our categories.

There you have it kids, a blog entry that you didn't want to raed, but because I run this page, I felt I should write.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Asshat - The Where's Waldo? edition (Update - viewing now disabled)

See if you can spot why this video is Asshat worthy.  This ran on the Channel 4 News here in Pittsburgh and seems innocent enough, but one of my erstwhile coworkers pointed something out to me that changed it from innocent to asshat worthy in mere moments.


Happy viewing!!!!!!

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Sorry, can't help myself

One day away from making some coin in fantasy baseball, one day away from trying to even my record in fantasy football (I'm 1-2) and two days away from fantasy hockey season.  How should we celebrate?



Friday, September 26, 2008

What gives this away is the lack of a title

I need to get a blog out at some point and what better time than from my sick bed. Yes, you can tell fall is coming because I am having my first round bout of flu, I am hoping that this isn't a 12 rounder, I am in no mood no battle it that long. It was bad enough this morning that I actually took a sick day from the radio station, which I haven't done in years, but then again I was always worried about putting someone else in my chair while doing a live show, since I no longer do that, my concerns over who pushes buttons in my absence are far less great than they used to be. If I would have been doing a live show, I would have drug myself in on my deathbed, but not for what we are doing now, sorry.

Some thank yous are in order as well, first to those fans of the radio show that have ventured onto my humble little page. By all means hang out and check out the scenery and do stop by the friends pages as well. They are all way cool and are on the friends list for one reason or another, most likely simply because they asked. Mind you, unlike the show, the page is not all politics, it can be at times, but outside of the show it wasn't my only interest, so this page is more reflective of me than of anything I may have done on the air.

Thanks also to those that signed up for the fantasy hockey league. I set the league up to accept as many as 14 teams, but despite my prodding, a day before the draft I only had 4, which would have been a most sucky result, so Saturday before the darft I opened it up to the public in general and managed to get the league total of teams up to ten. Not quite the 14 I wanted, but good enough that I expect we will have a decent season.

.86 more to the change meter, so the new total is $38.63. The Pepsi caps and Coke points are still coming in, but the rate has slowed a little bit thanks to the institution of the smoking ban. Se, the thing is, we had a smoking room at Walmart, so I could scavenge the recycle bin in the smoking room for more points, but with the institution of the ban a couple of weeks ago, smokers are forced outside, which removes one of my prime sources for Pepsi and Coke goodness. I have gotten a little help from the return of the students to campus, I am getting more points off of 12 and 24 packs than I had this summer, but I am still down from what I had been pulling in. I should add some music to my Imeem list, I have enough points, but I have been saving for bigger goodies, suck as the Sennheiser headphones I got (which are awesome by the way) and the free month of Gamefly I gave away on this page.

The fantasy baseball season is just about over, just three days remaining and I have a 7.5 point lead on fourth place, so it looks like I will make a couple of coins this year. I still lead in 4 categories which would be good for an additional $40, almost enough in itself to cover the entry fee of $55, which my prize winning (provided there isn't an epic collapse in the last three days) I will pretty much double my money, and it gave me a reason to pay attention to baseball for the past few months. If it were left to simply to being a Pirates fan, then I would not be all that excited to pay any attention to baseball.

Tonight is supposed to be the first Presidential debate and I am not even sure I want to watch. I will, more out of some deep seated obligation that I think I have to remain informed, but really, barring either of the candidate's ripping off their mask to reveal that they are in fact the Red Skull, I expect very little of merit to come from this evening's festivities. And before anyone asks, don't ;look to me for sage advice on the banking collapse that has been taking place. Finance is by far one of my weakest areas, one needs only look at my savings to ascertain that, and I am not much for the blame game that goes on amongst the chattering class, whether the blame is being laid at the feet of Republicans or Democrats. Both parties have had ample opportunity to fix this before it became the problem that it currently is and neither has stepped to the fore and done a damn thing. For those that would like to blame Republicans, I haven't seen the Democrats address this problem with a single bill of note since taking the House and Senate in 2006, and for those that wish to blame Bill Clinton, well let's see, he was elected in 1992, so you have only had 16 years including 6 in which you held the White House, Senate and Congress and you too have chose to do nothing, so all of you can just shut the fuck up.

Great, just as I type that the debate starts. I suppose I could glog the debate, but forget the reader, I would probably fall asleep if I did that.

I may rue doing this, but there have been some problems with my email recently. I can't put my finger on it, other than Excite is possibly the worst web portal amongst web portals, making Yahoo, my normal punching bag, seem down right competent by comparison. With that in mind, those wishing to reach me may now do so at the following email address, mattpritt@gmail.com. Speaking of punching bags, I have a couple of Asshats that need be gotten rid of, and now seems as good a time as any.

One of which will go to Yahoo, that very web portal previously mentioned. You may remember what led to the vast exodus from blogging at Yahoo, with many of us ending up here on Multiply. The blogging service over there, 360, was becoming bug riddled and problematic to work with at best. yahoo even recognized it as such and said they had no plans to fix the problems, rather they were going ahead with their plans for a new platform, layout and a social networking site called Mash. So what happened, Yahoo has announced that Mash is now closed, meaning that all of that neglect fixing 360 was for nothing and grants Yahoo will merit Asshat status.

Also on the Asshat list is Robert Sanchez, one of the engineers involved in the Metrolink train crash in Los Angeles leaving 25 people dead and many more injured, as while one would hope an engineer would be paying attention while operating a train, apparently Mr Sanchez was busy sending and receiving text messages, the last one he sent was one minute before his train would collide with another train, blowing through a stop signal. Asshats like that kids, are thankfully hard to come by, because I would hate to have a Asshat kill multiple people every week, but in this instance, Mr Sanchez qualifies.

I have been just tinkering with the Pogo badges recently. I haven't been chasing games simply because they have a current challenge, but I have been playing games more that I like than I can get a badge from. Maybe I am suffering from Pogo burnout or something, I don't know.

I do know that one hour in I am already suffering from debate burnout. I can't wait to see what the red state guys do with this. They have posted a couple of videos since I last threw one of them up here, but I can't let this page be nothing but red state updates, they already have their own page and youtube channel, they don't need me to be reposting all of their material.

I am still sending out resumes to potential employers, no hits back so far, but I imagine part of the problem is that while I am willing to relocate, chances are that they are looking more for someone closer to where they are located. I know that is the case with one place I was looking at in Tampa Florida, which has kept me from even sending them a resume, but I still sent one out this past week to KMOX in St Louis. Sometimes you just have to plug away and hope something breaks in your favor. As it is, I need to tinker with my resume and make some changes before I send it out again, as it looks like in the next couple of weeks I am going to be producing a show for our first snake oil salesman to buy time, Wachovia Securities. In truth, they may be decent people, I have never met them, but when your programming is relegated to whoever wants to pony up money to be on the air, you are no longer doing radio based on being good, but just based on making a buck, regardless of the quality.

Funny, just as I type that bit about Wachovia, I happened over to Drudge where he has a link to a story regarding Wachovia's shares plunging and a possible merger with Citibank. I'll be honest, I wouldn't mind if they went belly up, we would just have to find the next Dr McQuacken to hock his latest cure all on our air, that's all.

Thankfully the debate is now over. Now it is just punditry telling us what we already saw, because we were too stupid to listen. Personally I found them both to be quite droning in tone and content, no game changing moments that's for sure. Not to worry, just as before the debate everyone was telling how important this debate was, come time for debate #2, the insignificance of this debate and the importance of the second debate will be the talking point du jour.

Well, I have typed enough, I am going to eat some dinner.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Okay, one more before I call it a day

I just realized all of the stuff I have to blog about, could make for a long entry.  This isn't it however



Farking Monday

I haven't done this in ages, but I am sitting here at work and fiogured I might as well add to my page, so the 10 Best Headlines on Fark (right now)

I hope to actually do a blog this evening, but what I hope for and what happens are rarely the same thing.


1) Ric Romero reports that tall bridges can be a tough obstacle for people afraid of heights

2) Idaho woman wins hog calling contest. Bonus:her name is bacon. Mmmm....baaaacon

3) Man stabbed during fight over Big Mac. Still healthier than if he had eaten the burger

4) Cops threaten guy with arrest... for having an annoying garden gnome. w/pic of offending gnome

5) French troops 'ran out of ammunition' in Afghanistan. Since this is Fark you can anticipate what happened next...which was not a good idea when fighting the Taliban

6) Ike evacuees sneak back onto ravaged Galveston. And by "sneak", we mean "return in the full glare of the media"... so, shhh, don't tell anyone

7) Prison inmates becoming among the most eco-conscious people on the planet as they save rare birds, protect vital natural habitats and enjoy organic tossed salads with hand-made honey or jelly

8) Attention, you fubsy, niddering oppugnant agrestics: some perfectly cromulent words need saving

9) It's never a good sign when you propose to your girlfriend and she responds by slapping, punching, scratching, and throwing several knives at you

10) Pouring boiling water onto a 4 year old after she told you to 'Get a job' is no way to go through life, son

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Oh, it is so on.......

And you can be part of it, if you so wish.  I am setting up a fantasy hockey league on Yahoo, just for shits and giggles and I am extending invitations to anyone who happens by this page and wishes to join. Mind you, the maximum number of teams for the league is 14, and last I checked, I was one of the 14, leaving just 13 spots remaining.

The address to sign up for the festivities is http://hockey.fantasysports.yahoo.com/hockey/register/joinprivateleague_league_select?.scrumb=

In the league ID box enter the number 39942

The password is bigp76460

The draft will be online live this Sunday (Sept 21) at 9pm EST, or you can have Yahoo draft for you by either rating the players yourself or letting Yahoo select based on its own preseason ratings.

In any event, the invitation has been extended and I do believe it is "Game On!".


Good morning

Sorry, but I just found this kind of cool.  You may note that on occasion I have stolen the shot from the Moun Washington webcam showing the sunrise over the Pittsburgh skyline.  Well, it is equally cool when it is so foggy that all you can see is the very tops of a couple of the city's taller buildings in the distance, as is the case this morning.


Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Normalcy revisited, Steelers-Browns in glog form

Told you I would be back, and things would eventually return to normal, and what better way to do normal than with a glog of tonight's football game between the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Cleveland Browns. Since kickoff is still an hour and change away however, I am going to sneak in a game of baseball on the PS2. Yes, two sentences in and already I am taking a break, a new record for me.

I have snuck in a couple of games since the last blog. All is okay on the Joe Random front, I have cut the lead in homeruns down to 2, and I still lead in batting average and RBIs, so the elusive triple crown could be mine.

Well the game is over, a 6-4 win for the Devil Rays over Minnesota and I have clinched one of the playoff spots, though I was hardly a factor, going 1-5 with a double and run scored. As a result I now trail by three homeruns. Damn it! My double does put me in a tie for 14th place in that category, with 35 on the season, but doubles don't equate to Triple Crown glory.

Well, I guess a little preview of tonight's contest. Pitsburgh enters the game 1-0 with a win last week over Houston (38-17) while Cleveland was on the the losing end of a blowout in Week 1 dropping a contest to the Dallas Cowboys (28-10). not that either of those scores are indicative of what will happen tonight, but a win would give sole possession of first place in the AFC North to Pittsburgh, while a loss would give the early division lead to Baltimore, who while undefeated, have the odd scheduling quirk of a bye week in just the second week of the season.

Don't mind me, I am just making some pierogis for dinner. Yes, football and blogging requires nourishment. Well, I don't know if those particular activities require nourishment, but I do, and since I am doing this, I will feast, or at least nosh.

My fanatsy football team was solid today, if unspectacular, well save for Brandon Marshall, who is still playing right now, but already has 18 catches for 166 yards and a touchdown. I can live with those numbers. But still, I dodged a couple of bullets, if I had to look at my roster and my opponent's roster coming into today, I would have taken him. Oh well, I will see how it all plays out, I had decent games from my defense (New England) and two running backs (Matt Forte and Chris Johnson) and Peyton Manning and Wes Welker were serviceable enough. One of the things I will be watching for tonight though is how Pittsburgh does, because my opponent has both Willie Parker and Heath Miller from Pittsburgh.

I am not sure what else to write about until game time. Nothing all that exciting is happening. Work is as work does, though now, even though I am salaried, i am filling out time sheets and billing the station for overtime. Before I would just let the extra hours slide, but now that they want me there producing shows on Sunday and basically wasting the one day where I could work at my own pace, or if I had my stuff done ahead of time, take the day off, now they are being billed for every single hour I work, regardless of me being salaried or not.

I might have to save this blog from time to time tonight, there are wind warnings about. Yes, in case you were wondering, the weather service asks that you fear the wind. Really, is there any weather phenomena that you shouldn't be afraid of? Strikes me as a little too much fear mongering, but I suppose it gives the usually wrong weatherman some personal degree of satisfaction to know that no matter what the conditions, your life could be in danger.

Speaking of life in danger, I have a hard decision on the Asshat front. I will roll it around in my cranium for the time being, but rest assured, stupidity is not dead.

Looks like we are just about underway, Pittsburgh will kick to Cleveland. I will eat another pierogi, smothered with butter and garlic, which is good for me, probably not so good for those behind me tomorrow as garlic and my backside have a less than friendly relationship. Oh well, the price for eating good I guess.

Two plays for Cleveland so far net a total of two yards, we have a third and 8 early in the contest. Pittsburgh struggled last year getting off the field on third down, but no such problem here, and incomplete pass will bring up 4th down and a punt from Cleveland. Pittsburgh will take over after the Steelers fail to field the punt and have it roll instead, resulting in a decent effort for the Cleveland punter.

Pittsburgh starts the game with three consecutive passes, all completions, and as a result, we have the game's first first down. I sneak an extra save in on my typing efforts so all is not lost should the power go out due to wind. Don't laugh, I have lost far more on perfectly sunny days here in third world Oakland. Pittsburgh runs twice, both carries by Willie Parker and on third down Roethlisberger is sacked and the Steelers are forced to punt. Each team has exactly one possession and zero points.

During the commercial break I reset my digital antenna receiver. I am less than impressed with digital TV. Sure the picture is better, but by an large the extra channels are a vast wasteland. Channel 11, which I am watching now, has three channels, one is the network (NBC), one is just weather and one is the retro TV ntework, whose major claim to fame is they run Quincy and Ironside back to back during the afternoon.

Another three and out for Cleveland and Pittsburgh fields the susequent punt, but get no yards on the return.

Anyway, back to my digital TV rant, another channel (Channel 4, WTAE) has two channels, the network and an all weather channel. The public broadcasting channel has three channels, two of which play the same thing almost half of the time and the third is the Rick Sebak channel. Rick is a local guy that puts together Pittsburgh specials, and while they are okay to see once or twice, I really don't need to be bombarded with "Things That Aren't There Anymore" five times a week. Same with "Kennywood Memories". If you don't have enough programming to run three channels, then what in the hell is the point in having them?

Pittsburgh goes three and out on their second possession, managing only a three yard carry by Willie Parker and two incomplete passes on the three plays. Still no score, in case you hadn't guiessed.

Wow, a commercial break and a new favorite annoying commercial, the dumb spots for Miller Lite are absolutely not funny. Not just non funny in the non ha ha sense, but non funny in the 'why in the hell would I buy that product" sense.

Meanwhile, Cleveland faces their third third down of the game and once again they fail to convert bringing on punt #5 of tonight's contest. And for the second time in three punts, Pittsburgh fails to field it. Wow talk about the anti slobber knocker, this game is turning into a snooze fest in rapid fashion. I am almost wishing I was working on my pogo badge, which would be far better than watching this game.

Don't look now but Pittsburgh completed a pass, Roethlisberegr to Hines Ward and we have the second first down of the game. A Willie Parker run on first down and on second down Roethlisberger throws deep to Parker and it looks like the ball goes right through Parkers hands, despite being double covered. Third down and a drop by Hines Ward and out comes the punting team for punt #6 of the contest.

Oh, a breeze, maybe my apartment will cool off a little, which would be nice, because I am sweating here while I type this. Holy cow, to steal Harry Carey's line, Cleveland gets it's first first down of the contest and it only took them 13 and a half minutes.

Cleveland completes a pass but what should be third and short is nullified on an offensive pass interference call, making it second and 18 instead of third and 3. Two more incomplete passes and guess what comes next kids? If you guessed a punt, you get.a cookie. Let's see if Pittsburgh can field this one.

A commercial for the Army Reserve and what did we learn during the commercial? Members of the Army Reserve can't defend the pick and roll. That doesn't bode well for our nation's security if they can't stop a guy going to a basketball hoop.

Cleveland punts the ball away and for the thrid time in four punts Pittsburgh fails to field the ball, resulting in Dave Zastidil getting his third 50+ yard punt while kicking into the wind. Two plays and Pittsburgh gets a first down on a Willie Parker run up the middle and that ends the first quarter of less than white hot competitive action with the score tied 0-0.

So, how many Brett Farve apologists are their in Green Bay today, the Packers are 2-0, and the Jets are 1-1, and Aaron Rogers threw for over 300 yards and three TDs for the Packers while the Jets are a dying quail that was luckily caught from being 0-2.

Pittsburgh is going to....you guessed it, punt. A quarterback sneak on third and one gets negative yards, which may be positive yards in the negative zone, I will have to consult Annihilus and get back to you on that, but here in the real world it just means fourth down.

Cleveland tries to take advantage of having the wind at their backs in the second quarter, but on first down Derek Anderson floats a pass that Darren McFadden easily intercepts, which marks the first time this game that a drive didn't end in a punt, though I think Cleveland would have rather punted all things considered.

Pittsburgh uses a third down pass from Roethlisbereger to Santonio Holmes to convert a third and 7 and the drive continues. On first down Cleveland sacks Ben Roethlisberger but again is penalized on what should have been a positive play, a facemask call results in another first down for Pittsburgh.

The wind warning here was correct, we have wind. Thank you Mr Weatherman, the check is indeed in the mail.

Third and 6 and Cleveland is offsides, making it third and 1 instead. Pittsburgh fails to convert on the third and short bringing up 4th and 1 and Pittsburgh's offense stays on the field, either to hope that Cleveland jumps offside and they get the first down via penalty, or to go for it. it looks like the former and it appears to work, Cleveland does indeed jump offside, but Pittsburgh calls timeout before the penalty, thus negating a possible first down for themselves. Pittsburgh decides to go for it anyway and the play works, Willie Parker runs to the right side for 13 yards and a first down.

First down and Roethlisberger again connects with Holmes for another first down and Pittsburgh is in the red zone for the first time tonight. This is by far the most impressive drive by either team so far this evening, but that isn't saying much.

Second and 9 and Roethlisberger throws a catchable ball to Hines Ward in the end zone, a little behind him but certainly manageable, and he drops it leaving Pittsburgh with a third down and 9. Roethlisberger again goes to Ward, this time he catches the ball and hangs on and we have the game's first score. A Jeff Reed extra point and the score is Pittsburgh 7 Cleveland 0 here in the second quarter.

I think the worst part of these glogs, besides my incessant rambling, is that I have to do spell checking afterward, and by the time I am done, I have no desire to spell check anything, resulting in typos galore. Spell check isn't much help, because it wants to change every name and some of the typos it completely ignores, thinking that whatever gibberish I typed must be a word in some language.

Cleveland has the ball again, starting at their own 18 yard line after the kickoff and first down loses yards. Annihulus would be pleased. By the way, anyone who gets the Annihilus reference gets a gold star for the evening.

Cleveland gets a first down, I won't holy cow again, I will save that for a special occasion. Thjis possession is looking like Cleveland's best so far of the game, as two more running plays set up a third and short. Another run and another first down, all of a suudeen this could almost be called a drive. Derek Anderson hits Jamal Lewis over the middle on first down and the gain is 14 yards and another first down.

2 minute warning after a running play gets minus one yard for Cleveland. During the commercial break we have a commercial for the new Knight Rider. Apparently the TV movie they made last year went over so well in launching the TV series that they remade the looks on the car. Trust me guys it vwasn't the car, the idea sucked.

Anderson hits his tight end, Kellen Winslow, and another first down for Cleveland. Pittsburgh adds to Cleveland's drive here by getting nailed with an illegal contact call, good for 5 yards and a first down.

Cleveland continues to drive, picking up 5 yards on a pass and it is second and 5 inside the Pittsburgh 20 yard line. Lucky for Pittsburgh, Cleveland gets a illegal shift call and we are back to second and 10 yards. A pass gets 9 yards and on third and one Cleveland tries a quarterback sneak for the first down, a terrible call, as even if it gets the first down, it leaves about 8 seconds on the clock. Cleveland gets the first down and tries for a TD on first and 10 on the 11 yard line, knowing it will be their only shot at the endzone before they will be forced to kick a field goal, but Anderson throws his second interception of the half, this one by Troy Polamalu, ending the Cleveland drive and the first half with Pittsburgh still leading 7-0.

Duirng halftime I am going to work on my Pogo badges, so my typing stops for the time being.

Got in one round of Makeover Madness, I am up to 90 pink hairdos now. I have the other two badges so that is all I need to complete the week. Funny thing is, I just did a Makeover Madness last week, not that I like the game, but I am down to just a few badges left to get in most of my albums.

Second half underway here and it starts with Pittsburgh getting the ball to open the second half and the first play is a ten yard run by Willie Parker, getting Pittsburgh an early first down. Meanwhile I rid myself of a mutant back hair. I call them mutants because I don't have one of those fur coat type backs, but every now and again I will see a solitary hair pop up on my shoulder blade, which I will pluck out.

Commercial break for an injury. Technically I guess it is an injury time out, and once again the marketing gurus amaze me by telling me that a shaving cream is really good because a bunch of miniature women will jet pack into my nostril andf have a party if I use it. Thanks, but really, no thanks.

Pittsburgh's first drive ends in a punt, and Cleveland will take over for the first time in the second half. Cleveland goes three and out, a recurring theme to tonight's game and another recurring theme is Pittsburgh's inability to field a kicked ball as again they manage to not catch the punt and it is to Cleveland's benefit.

First down Pittsburgh and Roethlisberger finds Santonio Holmes 48 yards down field in what is by far the biggest play in the game so far. Two running plays by Willie Parker, who to this point has been held in check and it is third and 4 for Pittsburgh. An incomplete pass and Pittsburgh will be forced to punt. Check that, Pittsburgh is trying a 48 yard field goal, and despite the conditions, Reed nails the kick and Pittsburgh takes a 10-0 lead here in the third quarter.

Sorry, I avoided the comercial break and opted to start setting up to brew some iced tea. I know, I deprived you of something witty that I am sure I would have said, but then again, I deprived myself as well, and honestly, I think I am pretty funny, at least at times.

Cleveland starts this possession well, getting a first down on just two plays and following that up with a 7 yard pass, leaving a second and three, but that nets only a yard so Cleveland is faced with a third and 2 here. Jamal Lewis buries his head in the pile and just gets enough for the first down. At this point we should have a scroll across the bottom of the screen that there is a Cleveland Brown drive warning.

First down and a pass to Kellen Winslown and he makesthe catch for a first down and a roughing the passer call adds 15 yads onto the end of the play and Cleveland is down to the Pittsburgh 34 yard line.

Another Anderson pass, this one to Braylon Edwards and another first down. A pass to Edwards again, though this one is incomplete, but Ryan Clark remains down for Pittsburgh on the play and we have an injury timeout. I guess this is as good a time as any to ask, why is the NFL using "Everyday is Like Sunday" in their commercials? Have they listened to the song? Do they undertand the lyrics? Do we need Morrisey to say "Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?"

A dead ball foul, Pittsburgh called for taunting and Cleveland has first and 10 at the Pittsburgh 11 yard line. Two plays net two yards and we have third and 8 from the 9 yard line. False start on Kellen Winslow pushes Cleveland back to the 14 yard line. A terrible call and a terrible pass by Derek Anderson and Cleveland will have to settle for a 31 yard Phil Dawson field goal, and the score is now Pittsburgh 10 Cleveland 3.

The side benefit of the score is that I got to work on my iced tea during the ensuing commercial break.

Special teams fail Pittsburgh again, this time they can't field a kickoff and the result is Pittsburgh's drive will start from their own 2 yard line. Special teams have not been all that special for Pittsburgh tonight. On second and 11 Roethlisberger finds Hines Ward 31 yards downfield, getting the first down and getting Pittsburgh out from the shadow of their own goalposts.

Commercial break and a promo for "Biggest Loser". I could have told you you were a loser if the only way you can put down the Twinkie is to go on televised fat camp. I will wait until one of the contestants dunks their head in a barrel of "Krusty Brand Imitation Gruel". More stars for people that got that reference.

Fourth quarter is underway and Santonio Holmes picks up a first down on a wide receiver reverse.

Pittsburgh is now over midfield, but a penaly, holding on the offense, pushes them pack to their own side of the 50. An awful lot of flags tonight, and Al Michaels agrees, informing us that that was penalty #15 that has been accepted. We follow that up with flag #16 an 5 yarder on Cleveland, so it is second and 9 yards for a first down, or a couple of more 5 yard penalties. The drive peters out though and Pittsburgh is forced to punt.

Cleveland starts their drive with a screen pass that is good for a first down and then some.

Three plays later on third down and long, Kellen Winslow makes a spectacular grab on a ball that he tipped to himself to keep the Cleveland drive alive. For as bad as Cleveland has looked to this point, they are still only down by a touchdown. Third and 7 and Derek Anderson finds Derrick Steptoe for eigth yards and a first down and the drive continues.

Pittsburgh manages to record a sack on the subsequent first down, leaving Cleveland with a second and 16. Anderson finds Jamal Lewis for nine and it is third and 7 again, the clock is ticking down, a little over 5 minutes remain in the game. And I said this was a problem for Pittsburgh last year, again they can't get off the field on third down as Derek Anderson hooks up with Braylon Edwards again.

Another 3rd and 7, this time from the Pittsburgh 20 yard line and less that 3 and a half minutes remain. The pass is incomplete and making for a fourth down and Cleveland is opting for the field goal attempt here. The kick is up and good as Pittsburgh's lead is cut to 4 points, 10-6. The guys on TV are marveling at the call to kick the field goal, I am not so sure. You give the ball back to Pittsburgh and you still need a touchdown to take the lead, the three points doesn't help you all that much. I could be proven wrong, Cleveland could score a TD and win by that field goal, but if you have to get to the endzone at some point and you have had problems moving the ball all night, I think you take your shot there to at least get the first down, if not, work to get a three and out on defense and take another shot when you get the ball back. As it is, you still need a three and out and a touchdown anyway, the difference is whether it is for a tie or the lead, but a field goal on your next possession doesn't help you.

Great, now Al and John are trying to defend there logic for taking the three because the math finally clicked in their head that the field goal doesn't help all that much. They are babbling about a "deflation factor" (isn't that what Viagra is for?) if you don't score and Pittsburgh runs out the clock. Hello? Pittsburgh still can run out the clock here, it is one of the reasons that when you are driving you don't kill the momentum by kicking a field goal.

Another promo for Knight Rider, apparently changing the car wasn't good enough, they need a mechanic that parades around in a bikini. This show just looks worse and worse.

By the way, while I was saying Pittsburgh could run out the clock, Roethlisberger hits his tight end, Heath Miller, with a pass for a first down. Not that I didn't say this could happen or anything, but .........

Willie Parker runs for 4 yards and Cleveland has used all three of their timeouts on the last three plays. Willie Parker again, 14 yards and another first down. I am looking smarter by the play here. The clock has reached the two minute warning, Pittsburgh leads 10-6 and barring either a Pittsburgh score or turnover, there is a very good chance Cleveland won't get the ball back.

Second and 10 and Parker runs again, this time for 4 yards and Pittsburgh has a third and 6 with the clock running. Parker again, just one yard, and it will be fourth and 5. Now the question is will Pitsburgh kick the field goal, or go for it in hopes of running more time off of the clock. They go for it, and a loss of 4 yards on the play and Cleveland gets the ball back, needing 74 yards in 26 seconds.

First down and 10 and the pass is incomplete and killing 8 precious seconds off of the clock. Second down and Pittsburgh gets a sack of Derek Anderson so the clock keeps running and Cleveland just gets a snap off with one second left but the play can best be called a disaster waiting to happen, the pass attempt, and I use the word attempt loosely, goes all of maybe 6 yards before falling harmlessly to the turf and ending the game with Pittsburgh prevailing 10-6. And once again I am proven smarter than John Madden, but that is akin to the reference of going into a battle of wits with the unarmed at this point. Just shove a turducken into the Madden maw already and be gone with ye.

This is where we say goodnight from Pittsburgh, even though the game was played in Cleveland, I am not glogging from there but from here. Nite all.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Business as usual

Okay, let's palaver, or Rod Laver, or do whatever the hell it is we do round these parts. I suppose I have some splainin to do, might as well do that now.

First, thanks to all of the poeple who were worried about me losing my job. I didn't, not that I would have minded given how things have turned out, but for the time being I still have a job in radio. Allow me to explain the events as they transpired. The Friday before Lynn was to take 6 days off (5 vacation, one for surgery on her hand) management broke the news to her that in two weeks the radio show would be no more, the station was changing format, from an all talk station to a business talk station. This meant that we had 4 days after Lynn came back to sign off to all of the loyal listeners, so while we could have been talking about the Democratic Convention and the upcoming Republican Convention, instead we were doing lots of calls from listeners that dealt more with our goodbyes than the issues of the day. I was kept on only because I don't cost the station all that much money, and there would be plenty of bullshit work for me to do to clean up the mess that management was making. I know some callers thought it was gracious that we were given 4 days to sign off, it wasn't really, it was just their attempt to get a couple more shekels out of Lynn's advertisers before they cast her out. At this point I would like to thank Michael, the owner of A Pleasant Present, who pulled his dollars from not just our station, but all stations owned by our parent company. Considering that they replaced Lynn with syndicated radio fare that costs the company nothing to air, I would rather the advertisers that are loyal to Lynn stay loyal to her and not us.

What replaced Lynn wasn't so much a business news show as it is a infomercial. The network even runs a disclaimer twice an hour saying that the views of the host do not reflect the views of the network and some guests have been compensated to appear or have holdings in the companies that they are asking you to invest in. I am sorry kids, that's a fucking commercial, not news.

Still, while the station ended Lynn's show, they also ended all of the talk shows that ran during the week as well, most of which were syndicated programming. The thing is, when you end a syndicated progam's contract, you have to give them a 90 day out, during which time you have to clear every national commercial that would have aired on your station had you kept the show. Because we ended so many contracts, I was handed a stack of spots that is the eqivalent of over 5 hours of commercials that I have to record every week. Normally I would do those on Sundays, but to better pierce my asshole with a giant cock, two of the local shows that aired on Saturday, Garden Talk with Jane Nugent and Birds and Nature with Scott Shalloway were moved to Sunday, where I get stuck producing them. So not only does my commercial production increase dramatically, the time I used to do it gets fucked with as well. If you can guess that I am not pleased, you are vastly underestimating just how pissed off I am. I have already sent my resume out to two different radio stations, because make no mistake, I want out as fast as humanly possible while still being able to pay my bills. Finances are the only reason I am there at all and didn't walk the same day Lynn did.

What made matters even worse was that we were to debut our new programming on Labor Day, a Monday. I finally saw my first show clock on how the new programming would be formatted Sunday night at 11pm, 8 hours before this bullshit was to be on the air. And as happens when running news stuff and trying to get the computer to function properly in automation and do the background recording it is supposed to do, Monday was bug riddled. Lots of tweaking and rebooting of the system to get it to recognize the new configuration, meanwhile the general manager is sitting at home listening to the station and what does he have to say of the work that is being done by Ron (program dircetor), Jason (engineer) and myself? That I could have played a liner to tighten up some of the breaks. I do believe my exact quote was "Fuck him!". We are just trying to get the thing to work properly and he is worried about a fucking liner.

Today was the first Sunday that I had to do the Sunday shows, I was less than pleased. A day that for me would normally end about 3pm saw me finally leave work at 6pm, and I still have a boatload of shit to do when I get in Monday. Scott asked me how I was before his show started, I looked him deda in the eye and said "Well, when I finish this show, I only expect to be three hours behind schedule." Yes, I brought my attitude to work with me. I am actually happier at WalMart these days, where I know what is expected of me and all I have to do is do it, at the radio station, doing little more than recording network commercials, I am literally doing the very same thing I did as an intern some 12 years ago, but minus the fun stuff like conducting interviews and covering sporting events. It is just cutting commercials and working on bullshit weekend programming.

A side note, I plan on posting the last radio show at some point in the near future, but I have to edit the audio on my home computer. We lost the audio at work when the power in the building went out (we stayed on the air) because it rebooted the computer that records the audio feed. My computer at home was recording the web stream, I haven't listened to all of it yet but I do know that what I did listen to, while not as good of quality, should be workable enough.

Okasy, enough of my bitching, I have other things to get to here. 63 cents go to the change meter, the new total is $37.77, though I did find my second bank card while doing this little project of mine. Unlike last time, when I tried to track down the owner of the card, only to eventually drop it off at a branch of the bank that the owner while freezing downtown, this time I just gave it to the bus driver of the bus I found it on. If he wants to turn it in fine, if he wants to rip off the owner of the card, that's fine too. Not my problem. I just didn't wnat to get busted trying to use it. No great moral principle involved save foir keeping my ass out of jail, my life sucks enough without some 6'4" 300lb guy using his penis to play darts with my asshole.

My fantasy baseball team remains in third place still, and still leads in 4 of the ten statistical categories, Of course as luck would have it, two of my best players, Carlos Quentin and Evan Longoria are both hurt. Longoria has been out for about three weeks now, but is due back this week, Quentin hurt himself this past wek and is most likely done for the year. Technically he could be available for the post season, but the fantasy season will be over by then, so it does me no good whatsoever.

I did draft a fantasy football team this year. While we had to cancel the bar league because a number of the teams couldn't make it (and as it turns out, our draft Sunday I was stuck at the radio station for the format change mess), a few of us did hop into a free yahoo league. Most of the people drafted online at the time, I wasn't available (more work getting in the way, WalMart on that occasion) so Yahoo leaves you the option to have the computer draft for you, you can either accept their rankings of players, or you can instead opt to rerank them how you would like them drafted. I moved a few around, but not many and the auto draft feature was not a good thing for me, it drafted me 4 running backs, three were rookies and the fourth got cut before the preseason ended. I am not looking at good things so far, unless a bunch of guys get hurt I will be happy to escape with a .500 record.

I haven't tinkered with Joe Random in awhile. Last I checked I was still doing okay, I lead the league in batting average and RBIs but trail by about 4 in homeruns because of getting dropped to the minor leagues for about three weeks, but I haven't played all that much with my work schedule and the fact that I watched as much of the Olymics as I could. Lucky for me, they were putting some of the cool sports on late night live, so I would get home from work, make something to eat, climb into bed and put the sleep timer on the TV and just watch until I eventually crashed.


Sorry, took a little time off there, though I can now tell you that the fantasy football team started 1-0 and the fantasy baseball team remains in third place, so some things are going well, just not the work related ones.

I have sent out 4 resumes so far, to a local station (KDKA) as well as one in Boston, one in Dallas and to Bristol,CT to work as a audio editor for ESPN radio, though I doubt much will come of them. Eventually I will have to take a day and just carpet bomb stations with my resume, because I am really not enjoying what I am doing right now. I think that is why I am not blogging as much, life just sucks enough that I really don't want to relive it by writing it down. I managed to get most of the email list done for Lynn, there are still some trickling in, about ten a day that I add to her contact list, but so far the list I have compiled is over 850, so one would think that if she ever lands another gig there will be a built in audience from day one, which is a good thing. As for us, I have taken to just not answering the phone at work because I know it is just people bitching about the format change, and to be honest, I don't want to deal with it. It wasn't my decision, I don't need to be bitched at because it was made. So to all you people calling to yell at me for something I didn't do, go fuck yourselves.

See what I mean? And my bitterness is creeping into everything. Even today, as 9/11 tributes were taking place on TV I was thinking to myself, "Jesus fucking Christ, get over it" It's been 7 years already, and what do we have to show for it besides not much. Okay, so once a year we get out our tissues and go about the job of being professional mourners, but where the towers stood in Manhattan is still nothing but a hole in the ground, in Shanksville the bickering consist of whether a curved treeline should be part of the memorial site, because a curved treeline could look like a crescent and that is a Muslim symbol and all that jazz. So basically in 7 years, we haven't done a fucking thing but cry a lot. Hell, we haven't even caught the mastermind behind Al Qaeda, Osama bin Laden. News flash for you kids, the world didn't change on 9/11/01, we just finally became more aware of it.

Well, my bitterness isn't subsiding all that much, so I am going to pick up my ball and go home now.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Vacations over - The Asshat is back

On summer hiatus, many of you (okay, maybe not so many) have probably wondered if the Asshat would be back.  Puh - leez, don't insult me, this page without the Asshat would be, to quote the Greek philosopher Orange Juice Jones "like Corn Flake without the milk".  That being said, what to do as a return engagement that would truly be worthy of bringing back the Asshat?  Well, we could always throw the US Fish and Wildlife Service under the bus.  The best part about this Asshat award is that they are so cheap, they have no plans to fix it.  Fix what you may ask?  Read on fair blog visitor........

Duck Stamp includes phone-sex number

September 5, 2008

The federal government says it has no choice but to reluctantly keep distributing to millions of waterfowl hunters a toll-free phone-sex-service number that features a breathy woman promising callers that they can "talk only to the girls who turn you on" for $1.99 per minute.

About 3.5 million federal "duck stamps," featuring artwork by a Plymouth artist, are affixed to a card that bears the misprinted number, the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service said Wednesday.

All waterfowl hunters age 16 and older must buy and carry the current Migratory Bird Conservation and Hunting Stamp, commonly known as the duck stamp. Sales of the stamp raise about $25 million each year to fund wetland habitat acquisition for the national Wildlife Refuge System.

Rachel Levin, a Fish and Wildlife spokeswoman, called the misprint, which connects callers to a phone-sex service, "an unfortunate typographical error" that her agency "really regrets." She adds that the agency will keep selling the $15 stamps with the naughty number because reprinting the card would cost too much.

The correct number, 1-800-STAMP24 (1-800-782-6724), is for people wishing to order additional duck stamps. Levin said two digits of the phone number are transposed on the card that holds the self-adhesive version of the stamp. That incorrect number, 1-800-872-6724, translates to 1-800-TRAMP24. Callers to "Intimate Connections" are warned that they must be 18 years or older before proceeding.

Levin doubted that the digits were purposely transposed. "As far as we know," she said, "it was just an error."

The stamps were produced by Ashton Potter Ltd. of Williamsville, N.Y. Messages left with Ashton Potter's executives were not returned.

Levin said reprinting the cards would cost about $300,000, and "that's a lot of money we could be putting into" conservation.

"The stamp is perfectly usable," she said. "It will just be a lot more interesting for people now."

There is no similar error involving the type of duck stamps that require moistening. Both types have been on sale since June.

The 75th-edition duck stamp features artist Joseph Hautman's depiction of a pair of northern pintail ducks. The artwork was chosen last October in a contest.

"Oh, no," Hautman said upon learning of the error. "It's just an accident, I hope."

Hautman said he understands why Fish and Wildlife would not want to pay for reissuing the stamps, but he said he's unsure whether that is the right decision.

The 6 Million Dollar Giveaway - Bigger, Better, Stronger, Faster

Okay, so the prize isn't $6 Million Dollars, it is however the largest freebie to date ever given away on this page. The proud first claimer of said goodies gets a free month of GameFly.

In case anyone was wondering if I am still collecting caps, this is obviously a resounding yes. Mind you, I haven't redeemed any for music recently, this giveaway was worth 130 points on mycokerewards, and I also got myself a little something over at pepsistuff, a brand new pair of Sennheiser headphones (value 125 Pepsi points, which are harder to collect than Coke points, a rough exchange rate would be 1 Pepsi point equals 3 Coke points). Anyway, I believe some claiming details are in order, again first come, first served, just make a note of the fact if you claimed said goodies say so in the comments so everyone else doesn't try to claim the same prize. I may in the future make these more challenging with a trivia question or something and the correct answer wins the prize, but not today, today I am just lazy.



To complete the checkoput processfor the Reward you have selected, please enter your redemption code at www.gamefly.com/giftcert . Once there, fill in your info to create an account (valid credit card required) and start adding games to your GameQ (wish list). GameFly will start shipping the first available titles in your GameQ right away. Please be sure to use your code before its expiration date on 12/31/08. You should retain the email with the code as a reference number in case you need to contact our service team.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Trying to get my sea legs

I am trying to get things back to normal in most aspects of my life, easier said than done I might add, but this place needs a little brightening up, so some comedy is in order



Our inspiration (the title for this blog)

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