B365V2.73 - Getting Squirrelly

Feeling a little bit Cage-y this evening so a trip to the Squirrel Cage is definitely called for.  I just got off work and decided that I didn't want to go home just yet, so I thought I would put some food in my belly first.  Feed the tapeworm and all that jazz.  Besides, if I work on my invoices while I am here, then this becomes billable hours in lawyer speak.

I was bored sitting at home last night so I started the initial plans of a vacation, how many days I would be gone, how much it would cost, etc. etc.  I am sure some of you have went through the same process before, but for me, if I take a vacation, it will be my first one since 1987, when I went to the NASCENT conference in Buffalo.  But my presence there was somewhat required, what with Bob (. He of the infamous Waterslide and cocaine story incidents ) were leading a workshop on leadership and communication.  So rest assured America, you can sleep well knowing I corrupted the mind of 40 some odd people in Buffalo that year.

But that was the last extended trip I was on, which included a trip to Niagara Falls, back in those pre 9/11 days where you didn't need a passport to get into Canada.  Back when newscasts were more inclined to inform you as to scare you so that you hang through the commercial break.  Ah, the good old days.

Last night I am watching the news, because I am a fool, and the weather comes on.  There is chatter about the temps being in the 70s for the next few days and then I was told it would be severely clear.  Not sure what the hell was meant by that, perhaps severe is a buzz word they must work into every forecast to keep the natives restless.  But the forecast did come from the severe weather center by an outfit that touts there storm team coverage.  How about instead of flashing up bright reds and greens on the screen and using words like severe, you just walking to the fucking window, point a camera outside and say, this is what you are probably dealing with right now.  But then you can't get viewers to hang through that commercial break which is paying the bills, and the news, if nothing else, is a money making proposition.

That is the big secret they don't want to tell you kids, find the narrative that scares your audience the most then beat them over the head with it continuously.  In the case of Pittsburgh, with the oldest population outside of Florida, use the weather.  With Fox News and their aging white demographic, use lots of stories with angry blacks.  Or a black president and how bad he is.  Barack Obama's election was Christmas morning for those guys.  A Democrat and a black, God knows how many times Rupert Murdoch masturbated on election night, touching himself with a new found glee.  MSNBC is just the opposite, perpetrating the narrative that all Republicans are Neanderthals who want to drag us back to the Stone Age, where their simple way of thinking feels right at home.  CNN is anything that is visually stimulating, to avert your eyes to the fact they aren't telling you shit.  Nancy Grace plays up the missing white woman of the week, because nobody cares if a black person comes up missing.  Once you understand the filters these assclowns start with, it becomes much easier to diffuse the actual news from the bullshit.

I am crushing this kielbasa sandwich, but then I am a meatatarian after all.  I can't do the whole vegetarian thing, living a life of meat envy.  Veggie burgers and tofu turkeys, anything to make it look and taste like meat.  Imitation in the sincerest form of flattery after all.  Get back to me when there is a consumer demand to make a steak taste like a fucking carrot.

Okay, I banged out 7 invoices while I was here, so this is definitely what I call billable hours. So I should probably finish my sandwich and make myself scarce.  Besides someone went on a disco kick on the jukebox.  I can take disco in small doses, but it isn't Sunday night and I am not sitting at Rosebud pounding Rolling Rocks ( remember those days kids, of course you don't   ) because all of the cool places are gone.

Okay, I made it back to my bench to finish this out.  It was harder than it sounds, because once I sit down at home it is like someone has turned on my off duty light.  Once again I am joined by college kids playing on the monkey bars.  I should start mentioning this blog had been written before a live studio audience, what with my other blogging spot being the park downtown, save for today when I was at the Squirrel Cage.

Not sure I have much to add to this blog though.  I did find my second Vachss book in my apartment.  It was buried under stuff, not sure how it got there, but I have it in my +1 bag of wholesome goodness sitting on the bench with me, so if I run out of things to say and don't feel like going home, I have it to fall back on.  My foot hurts, I have a blister right underneath one of my toes, which means I spend a good portion of my day walking on the blister.  Trust me, it is not fun.  I have kicked off my shoes sitting here just to take some pressure off of it.

I hear the faint strains of the movie over on Flagstaff as I sit here. Once again I was too stupid to check the schedule to see what was playing.  I know Guardians of the Galaxy is supposed to be one of the movies this month, as it The Winter Solder.  What can I say, I have a thing for comic book movies.  Save for the ones where they go and reset the franchise every few movies,   so like I didn't waste any of my time with the second series of Spider Man movies, or most of the recent Batman stuff.  I don't like investing time in a franchise only to have the rug pulled out from under me.

I should make a blog list some day of things I don't like.  That would definitely provide me
with plenty of writing material.  It's just not something I want to get into right now.  I'd be better served by letting that idea germinate in my cranium before unpacking it on the page.

I guess I should warn you that the glog is coming back on Friday.  For those unfamiliar with the concept it is a game blog, where I blog about a sporting event while it is happening.  But a first for the glog, I will be live at the venue, in this case PNC Park and because the Pirates have free wifi, it will be closer to real time as opposed to the old ones where I would write during the event and then post afterward.  I guess I am turning it up a notch, testing my real time blogging abilities.   But that will be a couple of days from today, sitting with Bobby, Steve and Andrew and god knows how many beers I will drink in the process.

But for now it is probably time for me to get out of here, it is approaching midnight, and I need to rush home and see if I grossed anybody out with my comparison of ice cream and oral sex on Facebook.  Yes kids, that's me, taking something wholesome like ice cream and driving it right into the gutter.