Friday, October 23, 2009

Fantasy MVP Week 6

Once again I find myself in a bit of a conundrum.  The fantasy team racked up another blowout, a 135-72 win that evened my season mark at 3-3.  With the win I now lead the league in points scored despite having lost 3 games.  The problem with scoring points in bunches s that it makes it harder to pick a weekly MVP.  This week was no exception.  A case could be made for a number of players on my team.  Matt Schaub had another outstanding week, throwing 4 touchdown passes.  Larry Fitzgerald had over 100 yards receiving and a touchdown.  The Green Bay defense pitched a shutout against the Detroit Lions, the second consecutive week my team defense accomplished that task (see last week's MVP, the Seattle defense).  If this were strictly based on points accrued for my team then it would be a coin flip between Schaub and the Green Bay defense, but when taking into account not just points for me but overall play then I am opting for Ray Rice as this week's MVP.  Rice ended Sunday with 10 rushes for 77 yards and two touchdowns and also caught 10 passes for another 117 yards. 

As has been the case in the past, time for the highlight package




Sunday, October 18, 2009

Finally the drug industry comes up with something worthwhile



Earning my professional status

I did this once before, a couple of weeks ago where I picked the Top 25 college games that were on the board on Saturday (going 12-10 if memory serves me correctly).  Well time to try my hand at the professional game and see how I do.  The lines are reflective of the curent listing on and the point spreads are based on the home team.  With that stipulation out of the way, let's see what the NFL has on tap for us this fine, fine Sunday.

Houston @ Cincinnati (-5.5) - When was the last time Cincy was this big of a favorite?  That being said, most of their games have been close contests this year, decided by a touchdown or less (one loss by 5, four wins by totals of 7, 3, 3 and 3), if you are giving me 5 and a half points I am taking Houston +5.5.

Detroit @ Green Bay (-14.5) - That is a lot of points, but Detroit is playing without Matthew Stafford, Calvin Johnson and running back Kevin Smith is also banged up, so I will lay the 14.5 and take Green Bay.

Baltimore @ Minnesota (-3) - Defense, defense and more defense in this one.  After having their streak of not allowing a 100 yard rushing performance by a back snapped last week at 35 games, I look for the Ravens to make Adrian Peterson pay for that.  This is why the Vikings got Brett Favre, to win games like this one, here is saying they can't.  I'll take Baltimore +3.

NY Giants @ New Orleans (-3) - Battle of undefeated teams, the issue with New Orleans in recent years was they could score points but couldn't stop anyone.  While the defense is better this year, it still isn't that good, I am taking the Giants +3.

Cleveland @ Pittsburgh (-15) - Which Cleveland team will show up, the one that took Cincinnati to overtime two weeks ago before losing, or the one that saw Derek Anderson complete 2 of 17 passes last week.  Tell the truth it doesn't matter, both Cleveland teams suck, Pittsburgh -15 for me.

Carolina @ Tampa Bay (+3) - What happens when the movable force meets the resistible object?  Anyone with the stomach to sit through this game may find out, for me I am not sold on rookie QB Josh Freeman and Tampa Bay's defense was on the side of my milk carton this morning.  I'll take Carolina -3.

Kansas City @ Washington (-6) - Scarily as bad as the Redskins are this year (averaging less than 15 points a game), a win here and they are a 3-3 ball club.  And they are 2-0 at home.  I hate to give away 6 points when a team is this bad offensively, but with Kansas City (0-5) I will make an exception, I am taking Washington -6.

St Louis @ Jacksonville (-10) - In 5 games St Louis has scored a total of 34 points.  If this was almost any team besides Jacksonville they might have taken the game off the betting board completely.  Jacksonville -10.

Arizona @ Seattle (-3) - In Seattle's two wins this year they shut out their opponents (28-0, 41-0), in their three losses they have lost by an average of 12 points.  Can they shut out Arizona?  I say thee nay, which means a twelve point loss could be in the offing, so give me Arizona +3.

Philadelphia @ Oakland (+15) - I just realized something, this is the fourth double digit favorite I am taking.  Then again, Oakland couldn't stop my grandmother from crossing the street on a don't walk, there is no way they are stopping Philadelphia.  Philly -15.

Buffalo @ NY Jets (-9.5) - It is never a good sign when the only news in Buffalo is whether or not they are going to trade their biggest off season free agent acquisition (Terrell Owens).  Then again, as the baseball adage goes, we can lose without him just as easily as we lose with him.  NY Jets -9.5.

Chicago @ Atlanta (-3.5) - Let it be said here Atlanta is just better at the skill positions on offense, Roddy White is better than Devin Hester, Tony Gonzalez is better than Greg Olsen, Michael Turner is better than Matt Forte and Matt Ryan is better than Jay Cutler.  Those four are worthy of taking Atlanta and laying the 3.5.

Denver @ San Diego (-3) - This screams of being a trap game, Denver is undefeated and catching points?  The obvious choice is Denver, so I am taking the bait.  Denver +3.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Fantasy Hockey 2009 - the thread

Like last year, I am once again involved in fantasy hockey.  Unlike last year I am merely a participant, after trying to set up a league last year, only to find myself scrambling for teams at the last moment.  While I appreciate those that did partake of the league (and those that kicked my ass I might add), setting up a league and finding enough participants is far harder than in say, fantasy football.  Instead this year I just joined a public league on Yahoo, so I didn't have to hunt down teams. 


With that being said, week one is complete and  I posted a 4-5-1 record (4-5-1 overall as well), but I did pick an MVP every week last year and will do so again this year.  MY first week's MVP is Ilya Kovalchuk, who post a line of 5 G, A, +2, 6 penalty minutes, 2 power play points and 11 shots on goal. 

I plan on using this thread for the remainder of the season to post my fantasy hockey MVPs.  Unlike football, I haven't found a good video service to use to put video together, probably due to the fact that teams play a multiple of games through the course of a week, so there is no fantasy hockey highlights for me to edit. 

Before I conclude I do need to make mention of a trade that I completed and was made official Tuesday, effective Wednesday.  I dealt Tomas Vanek, Johnathon Toews and Evgeni Nabakov for Pekke Rinne, Chris Drury and Alexander Ovechkin.  I didn't propose the trade but was happy to jump on the opportunity to get Ovechkin on my roster and as it turned out Vanek got hurt in Tuesday's game, so I ended up dealing a hurt player for a healthy one.  I will make that trade any day. 

Well from here on the comments section, besides any that the general public may offer, will be the weekly MVPs of this year's hockey team. 

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Fantasy MVP Week #5

This was a most unexpected turn of events.  Not that I expected to lose, I never expect that, but at 1-3 going into the week with some of my starters on a bye, it was a replacement player, or in this case, team, that would step to the forefront and lead the Argonauts to victory.  Not just a victory, but a dominating performance, as I won by 74 points, 127-53.  There were plenty of choices I could have made for MVP this week, Matt Schaub had another big game with 350+ yards passing and two TDs, both to his Argonauts teammate Andre Johnson, Larry Fitzgerald chipped in a couple of TD catches, Ray Rice had 143 yards (69 rush, 73 receiving) and TD and even the kicker got involved with Matt Prater kicking two field goals including an overtime game winner.  But the standout this week was the Seattle defense, which pitched in 5 sacks, two fumble recoveries and a TD while shutting out Jacksonville.  As has been the norm, some video highlights of this weeks MVP


Sunday, October 11, 2009

Thanks Dimitri

I needed a good chuckle this evening, which you provided.  I especially loved the part about wearing seatbelts so you aren't prancing around the inside of your car like a fairy.  Priceless!



New Anti-Smoking Ads Warn Teens 'It's Gay To Smoke'

Friday, October 9, 2009

Stolen Content - I am liking 2016 more and more each day

Added to the list of Olympic sports in 2016 are golf (eh) and rugby (woohoo).  While I realize the chances of America medaling in rugby are somewhere between slim and none, I look forward to seeing it in an Olympic setting nonetheless.  Here with all of the wholesome goodness

Golf, rugby approved for Olympics in 2016, '20
Oct. 9, 2009 wire reports

COPENHAGEN -- Golf has a tee time for 2016, and Tiger Woods can hardly wait.
The sport returns to the Olympics for the first time since 1904 amid the spectacular backdrop of Rio de Janeiro's sand and sea, giving Woods the chance to do something even the great Jack Nicklaus never did -- win Olympic gold.

Olympic officials had no sooner voted golf in -- along with rugby -- than Woods and his fellow players cheered their chance to finally compete on sport's biggest stage. They will compete for Olympic medals, but the greater promise is that the game catches on in countries where golfers are few and golf courses are even fewer.

"I think it's great for golf," Woods said from the Presidents Cup in San Francisco. "It's a perfect fit for the Olympics, and I think we are all looking forward to golf getting into the Olympics."

The vote for golf was expected, following a campaign by the sport's leaders to bring it back for the first time since George Lyon and the United States won gold medals at the Olympics in St. Louis. They promoted it as a way to bring a sport once reserved for the elite to the masses, even though it will add 120 men and women to a sports festival already considered bloated by some in the Olympic movement.

Nicklaus himself said Olympic gold would not trump the green jacket given the winner of the Masters or the Claret Jug awarded in the British Open, but would be seen as something hugely important in countries where the game now doesn't mean nearly as much.

"For most of the world it will be a new game, with a new goal to achieve an Olympic gold medal," Nicklaus said. "For a lot of the world, it's something that's unbelievably special as an opportunity."

Golf's boosters capped their push for inclusion with pitches by Ireland's Padraig Harrington, a three-time major championship winner, and Michelle Wie, who for several years was the world's best known female amateur player. Wie told the International Olympic Committee that putting golf in the games would give young girls everywhere something new to aspire to.

"I can dream about doing something that neither Tiger nor Ernie [Els] have ever done, and that is to make the final putt to win an Olympic gold medal," Wie said. "If this dream comes true, somewhere in the world there will be another 4-year-old who sees me on that podium and perhaps starts her own Olympic dream."

Golf was approved 63-27 with two abstentions, while rugby won near unanimous acclaim in an 81-8 vote with one abstention. They are the first sports added since triathlon and taekwondo joined the program for the 2000 Sydney Olympics.

While golf was backed by a major push that included leaders of the sport from around the world as well as top players, rugby got the nod after a campaign of its own to show off the sport to a wider audience. The vote to include rugby sevens featuring 12 men's and women's teams, though, was celebrated in a similar manner.

"We were ecstatic and wanted to jump on the table, but we sort of restrained ourselves," former New Zealand rugby great Jonah Lomu told the Associated Press. "It was just fantastic for the game."

Woods, whose dominance of golf has made him one of the most recognized athletes in the world, will be 40 when the sport returns in Rio under a traditional format of 72 holes of stroke play for fields of 60 men and 60 women. He grew up determined to chase -- and break -- the record of 18 major championships won by Nicklaus. There were no thoughts of Olympic glory because there was no Olympic glory to think of.

But Woods is excited about the chance to do something he never imagined, and so are his fellow players.

"I think it's awesome," Sean O'Hair said. "You're going to be able to play for your country at the Olympic level. I think it's huge for the game. I think it's great for the Olympics. You know, I don't see any negatives to it. I think it's fantastic."

Both golf and rugby had to make some concessions to win their vote. Golf promised the IOC it would not stage any other major championships during the Olympics, while the Rugby Sevens World Cup will be canceled.

The vote was a reversal of the IOC's decision four years ago to reject golf and rugby for the 2012 Olympics, and brings the number of summer Olympic sports back to 28. There have been two openings on the program since baseball and softball were dropped in 2005 for the 2012 London Games.

The two sports share an Olympic history of sorts, both making their debuts at the second modern games in Paris in 1900. Golf was played again only in 1904, while 15-a-side rugby was in three more games, the last the 1924 Paris Olympics.

"Time will show your decision [on the sports] was very wise," IOC president Jacques Rogge told delegates. Rogge won a vote of his own when he was elected unopposed to a final four-year term.

Delegates were more wary about golf than they were about rugby, largely because of golf's reputation as a sport played by rich people at private country clubs. Some IOC members questioned how it could be successful in most countries because of the high cost of playing it, while others pointed out that some top clubs -- including Augusta National -- do not allow women as members.

"There are some serious problems with some clubs where major events are held, in terms of discrimination," American member Anita DeFrantz said, urging the IOC to "avoid going down a road that may be harmful to our image."

In the end, though, the promise that adding golf to the games would make it more available to the masses won the day. Left unsaid was that marketing the sport to countries where it is not widely played -- China, for instance -- could lead to even bigger TV contracts for tournaments, higher purses for players, and more golf course developments.

"Anything that grows the game, gets more people playing the game and more people watching the game, impacts all of those things," PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem said.

Copyright 2009 by STATS LLC and The Associated Press. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of STATS LLC and The Associated Press is strictly prohibited.

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Farking Friday

Far be it from me to leave this space completely unattended, especially when there are so many things I could use to entertain the masses.  Such as this oldie but goodies, a "Best of" the current Fark headlines.  Well it is either this or I bore you with more tales from my non exciting existence.


What every farker already knew has now been verified. "Survey: Miami Full of Hot, Dumb People"

Golfer loses arm after being attacked by alligator. No word on what his handicap is now

How bad does GOP congressional candidate want his Democratic opponent's seat? He practices shooting her silhouette with automatic fire on gun range

Trio of burglars steals $100K in perfume. Authorities encourage citizens to report any information through the appropriate Chanels

African newspaper provides your sub-headline of the day: "Boy Drags Flashy Man Of God To Police For Terrorising His Buttocks With Monster Whopper"

Barack Obama linked to terrorist Yasser Arafat

Only in Oklahoma. Man beaten in bathroom with mouth organ. Roommate charged with attempted harmonicide (w/mugshot)

9 out of 10 zebras agree that the zebras at the zoo in the Gaza Strip are total asses

H.S. principal screens surveillance video of students having sex in cafeteria. His play-by-play includes, "Hey, baby, why don't you come over here and grab my pencil."

Hard to know where to begin with this one: "A cache of explosives and pot plants were discovered at a state-licensed child care facility in Southern California hours after a man blew his hand off while mixing explosives there" 



Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Fantasy MVP Week 4

As has been my way since discovering NFL Redzone, I put together a highlight package of my team's MVP this week.  I think I might have to start low light packages, seeing as how after a 6 point loss this week I am now 1-3.  You know that it is a bad week when your best player had all of three catches.  At least two of them were for TDs as the video shows, and one was a pretty impressive grab, but still, three freaking catches.  That just sucks.  Oh well, video away....



Sunday, October 4, 2009

Asshat - The "Just shut the fuck up" edition

Well technically this is a day early, I should wait until at least Monday to post the previous week's Asshat, but then again, it has been so long since I did an Asshat that I can bend the rules any which way I choose.  That being said, today's Asshat goes to the morons who seem to believe it is George Bush's fault that Chicago failed to get the bid for the 2016 Summer Olympics.  From the Chicago Sun Times


Could it even be remotely possible that Rio de Janiero just might have submitted a kick ass bid, and it was more impressive than the other offerings. (See the Olmypic bid video here.)  Let's not kid anyone, Chicago wasn't first runner up here, they came in dead last, getting cut in the first round of eliminations.  If Rio wouldn't have gotten it, then it wasn't like Chicago was next on the list.  The Summer Games will go to Rio, the first time the Olympics have ever been held in South America, to which I say good for them, I hope they are as impressive as the games in China were (the opening ceremonies from those games still amaze me).  Hosting the Olympic Games is not an American birthright, regardless of the number of times the Games have been held here (8 times in all, more than any other country).   Instead of looking for excuses as to why Chicago wasn't selected, perhaps they should look for reasons why the Chicago bid wasn't up to par with the other finalists bids.  When you have the President of the United States lobbying on your behalf and you still can't land the coveted Games, maybe it is time to look real long and hard in the mirror and see just what it is you, not some man who isn't even in office now, did wrong.  And if you get real close to the mirror and breathe on it just right, you will see the name "Asshat" appear.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

The Steeler losing streak, it's all my fault

We will get to the meaning of my title in a bit, but first some things need to be taken care of. For starters, I just finished a survey over at, a long, drawn out survey that I actually spent three days on. Not that it took three days, but it was just so boring that I had to keep stepping away from it and coming back. I finally finished it this evening and for my painstaking effort I was rewarded with $7.50. While that might or might not seem like a lot, it did help greatly in achieving my goal of a free coffee pot, putting me within 15 cents of my much wanted prize. Now if that were the only money I had received these last few days that would be one thing, but there is more. I found another 33 Coke reward points, not sure what I will do with them, perhaps another blog giveaway will be in the offing, I haven't done one of those in a while. But if that is the case, I need to find an adequate prize in the Coke collection that might be worthy of giving away. That will be in the future however, as I am still only at 55 points, and there really isn't anything worthwhile for 55 Coke points.

The change meter had another big bump as well, an additional $13.11 which pushes the grand total to a, dare I say respectable, $132.38. Visions of great things for the change meter continue to dance in my head, the greedy me is thinking $150 by the end of the year is possible, but even if I didn't find another penny this year, I still have hung better than $90 on it in 2009, which is far better than I have ever done previously.

I guess this blog entry wouldn't be complete without a rundown on the G 20 in Pittsburgh last week. I guess the best way to put it is that it lived up to just about everyone's expectations, well save for my boss that is. Ed thought that the summit would be an economic boon for the store, which didn't happen, but first lets deal with those whose expectations were met. All of the G 20 leaders that came to town had their photo op and brief discussions, this time the topic on the table was executive compensation for business leaders that invest OTM (other people's money). Of course they all talked about how great progress was made without of course coming to any sort of agreement, so, lots of sound and fury signifying nothing. The protestors that follow the G 20 around like the Grateful Dead also had their moment, most marched peacefully, some broke shit, and allegations of the of the police using too much force were abound, much as they always are. Greenpeace probably had the most noticeable protest, hanging a sign off of the West End Bridge about Global Warming. The sign hangers dangled from the bridge for a while, the police were smart enough to let them come back to the bridge on their own and not go all Gwen Stacy on them (kudos if you got that reference). Security had their day in the sun as well, they managed to pull off the summit with little in the way of security problems, sure their were inconveniences for the locals, myself included, but it was scarily impressive how a combination of the National Guard, Coast Guard, FBI, Secret Service, Pittsburgh Police (and other police units), and Department of Homeland Security could lock down a city like it's nobody's business. The Chamber of Commerce was all gushy about the free press they got, and the alleged money the summit brought to the city. I say alleged because.....

As I stated my boss thought this was going to be an economic boon. As I blogged earlier, I was going to be happy to get out of this as a wash, we would lose as much business as we got. If only that were the case. The security grid was so tight downtown that even public transportation was checked in and out when it went through town. Everything ran through checkpoints, cars were persona non grata inside the downtown area. The result was most poeple just avoided downtown altogether. Needless to say our business suffered, big time. It wouldn't be a stretch to say we were off probably 80% from what we normally do. My personal plan was to come in Thursday morning (the first day of the two day summit) and stay until my shift ended on Friday. Usually I would work 7am-3pm, but given some of our people couldn't make it in, we were running a skeleton crew. So I showed up for work Thursday morning and we waited, and waited, and waited for business to pick up and it never happened. Finally 3pm rolls around and still nothing. Since nothing was going on I talked to Ed, said I was going to go across the river to Station Square and check out Bradley's Books, a discount bookstore that I recently learned a friend of mine, Jim, manages. I figured I would pester him for awhile, pick up some new reading material, then venture back to work to see if I was needed. Well, I hung out at Bradley's, talked to Jim and during the course of my visit he had a customer or two, including his first credit card order of the day. The fact this occurred at 4pm meant his business was taking a beating as well. I tried to help out by buying three books, to fiction paperbacks that were marked down to 3 bucks, and a new release hardback, which they sell at 10 or 15% off. Flush with new reading material in caes I was spending the night at work, I trudged back across the river to see how business was going. Still slow. Actually slower than slow. I told Ed I was going to get something to eat at The Lantern, a little dive bar just down the street from us that opted to stay open. I didn't know what to expect from their food, but open businesses downtown were few and far between, save for the normal fast food junk I wasn't in the mood for. Ed gave me $20 to buy dinner with, which was way cool of him as I was content to buy my own dinner. So I head down to bar, open the door and the place is empty. I mean way empty, I was the only guy besides the bartender that was actually there. My first question was obviously to ask whether or not the kitchen was even open. Given how slow it was, the kitchen being closed wouldn't have been a surprise. But the bartender assured me it was in fact open, so I ordered a 1/2 cheesesteak and onion rings, to which the bartender told me it might be a few extra minutes, they hadn't turned the grill on yet. This is almost 5pm now and I am the first customer. Yikes and double yikes. Better still was that it was so slow that the barteneder was also the cook. He was doing both, mind you since I was the only guy there, it wasn't like I was taxing his abilities or anything, but still. So I ate my dinner, watched some of the anarchist vs. cop protest stuff taking place in the city's Lawreneceville section on the local news, and then headed back to work again. Still nothing going on, but the stockperson on duty, Bob (t), said he wasn't feeling well and asked if I would take over for him. I said it was up to Ed, but as long as we were doing no business I couldn't see why he would want either of us working. Ed cleared Bob to leave, so I said I would stick around till Bob's shift ended in case I was needed, which would put me there till 11pm. I finally was needed around 8pm, business picked up slightly and I found a couple of things that needed doing, so I worked the last three hours of Bob's (t) shift. 11pm I suppose I could have left, but I had a few orders to place on Friday and unlike Thursday, I was in charge of the store Friday, which meant if I waited to do my ordering I would have to do it after my regular shift, making my stay even longer, so instead I just did it Thursday night, finishing up around 12:30am. At that point I weighed staying vs. sleeping for a few hours in my own bed and my own bed won, so I hopped a bus and went home. Of course before I could get to my apartment my bus was detoured a couple of blocks because the protesting fun and games had moved to Oakland. Recipe for stupidity would involve one part idiots bent on breaking shit, one part drunken college students, one part rubber necking fools and one part cops in riot gear complete with tear gas and taadaa you have a cocktail of idiocy all nice and neat.


Sorry, took a couple of days off in putting together the blog entry, but now, with Bingo Explosion (Facebook) running in the background I might as well catch everyone back up to speed. Work has been going really well recently, I have a notion something will happen to fuck it up. I have been paired with Wayne the last couple of weeks and all we do is bust ass. It is nice to work with someone that has the same or similar work ethic as myself. Shit actually gets done. I haven't had it this good since the early days of working with Grey, before they started shuttling him between stores and just messing everything up, but for the time being Wayne and I work very well together, and I know if I have to do something like place and order he isn't going to just up and disappear. Today was a prime example, we had three deliveries come in and were able to have all three done by noon, despite me pulling something in my back while catching the very first one. Not that me pulling something changes what I do, I play with pain very well, but still it was a real challenge to keep up with him in the work department. We are even getting side work done that I haven't been able to get to with anyone else. Stuff like wrapping older magazines for us to sell at discount, such as old porn mags that we have still in plastic we are bundling and selling three for $3.99. We literally have boxes full of the stuff and it is just a task that if we can get to, we work on it, but until recently I would be by myself, which would limit my chances to get such a project done.

It looks like my mom is paying me a visit on the morrow (or however that goes). We talked on the phone last night and I mentioned that I had to go grocery shopping this weekend. Well she called tonight and said that they would be coming down to take me shopping. I hope they don't plan on buying stuff for me as well, I have money after getting paid for my G 20 exploits at work, for me it was just a matter of finding the time to shop, not the money. Since my schedule now grants me weekends off Saturday has become my errand day and Sunday my sit on my ass and watch football day.

And pretty soon it will be sit on my ass and watch hockey time as well. The Penguins opened defense of their Stanley Cup win Friday, playing host to the New York Rangers. Lots of festivities including the raising of the banner to the ceiling and some nostalgia thrown in as well, as this is the last year that the Pens will play in the Civic Arena, after that they will move to the yet to be completed Consol Energy Center.

And since I am now on sports, now is as good a time as any to explain the title of this blog. The Pittsburgh Steelers, coming off a Super Bowl victory, have started the season 1-2, winning their first game and then losing the next 2. What you may not have known is that I have possibly had a hand in the current two game losing streak. You may think I am being a little egotistical in saying that, but allow me to gather me details while me may. Since Pittsburgh won the Super Bowl last year, they had the priviledge of hosting the first game of the season with the NFL's first game on week #1 on a Thursday night. So the day before the game I am just doing stuff around the news stand when a gentleman comes in and starts checking out our concession candies. Much like a movie theater but much, much cheaper, we keep a wide variety of the boxed candies that you normally see while out catching a flick. All told we probably carry around 24 different candies, everything from Boston Baked Beans, Swedish Fish, Sweetarts, Skittles, Starbusrt, Snocaps, Krabby Patties, Raisinettes, M & Ms, Bottle Caps, etc., etc., etc. This is one of the many areas I have to take care of during my order placing at work and for the most part the section remains fully stocked. The thing is, the last time Ed went to a product show, before I had even started at the news stand, he signed up for what are called product bookings, that is, if the vendor is offering a special deal on a product, or a company is offering a specail floor display, they will sometimes send those items to us even though I never asked for them. By and large these turn out to be a pain in the ass. Usually it is products we either don't normally sell, or they so overdo it from a quantity perspective that I am left with a ton of product that doesn't move. You may think I am kidding, but I have 30 boxes of Nerd gumballs, 48 cans of Duncan Hines frosting and 20 boxes of David pumpkin seeds in my stockroom that would beg to differ. Well, one of the things I get sent too much of is concession candy, so much so that they send me varieties of the stuff we don't sell and that I have no room for on the sales floor, so I have to more or less work them out of the stockroom; wait for something to sell out or be discontinued, then use one of the items we normally don't sell to fill the now empty slot in hopes I can move a few.

Hopefully that wasn't too confusing, let's call it an unneccesary evil for telling the tale I am about to tell. So the Wednesday before the Steeler season is set to kcik off here in Pittsburgh, an olderish gentleman comes it and is checking out the concession candies. I am not sure what he is looking for, perhaps he is just deciding in his brain which one to get, I don't know, but I continue putting other stuff on the floor when he approaches me and tells me that he works with the Steelers. I assume that he has a good gig, I suppose that there are bad Steeler gigs, like jock washer and stuff, but then if he was washing jocks one would think he would be busy scrubbing away, getting the jocks extra clean and minty fresh (or whatever it is they do with them) for the upcoming game. Anyway, he proceeds to tell me that the kicker for the Steelers, one Jeff Reed, sent him down to our store because he was looking for Jujyfruits. It seems Jeff has Jujyfruits every night before the day of a game. This type of stuff doesn't surprise me, from my days when the radio station was all sports and I was a credentialed member of the Penguins media, I have heard numerous accounts of what players do and don't do ritual wise leading up to a game. So I start checking our concession candy and I can't find any Jujyfruits, I can't even find a shelf tag that says we carry Jujyfruit. I was all set to tell Jeff's gentleman caller that alas we could be of no help, when I intstead had him wait a minute and I headed into our basement just to check the back stock and see if Ed might have ordered it and we just never had a place for it on the floor. Sure enough, there was a row of about 24 boxes of Jujyfruit siiting right on the shelf, so I bring one up and hand it to the man (well not man, he was out buying candy for another dude, that is almost like being Jeff Reed's bitch, but I digress) and he leaves with his candy purchase. The next day the Steelers play host to the Tennessee Titans and it would be Jeff Reed's leg kicking a field goal in overtime that would provide the margin of victory. Maybe there was something to this Jujyfruit nonsense.

Anyway, like I said, we normally don't carry that candy, so I felt no need to put it out because one person asked for it, most of my concession candy sells quite well, one of the many projects I have is recognizing what sells and what doesn't and removing the junk and getting us stuff that we can turn a profit on. How bad is it you may ask, I have cans of cranberry sauce on the shelf that years ago someone thought might be a good idea to get for the holiday season. We never sold one of them, and I just threw one out for sitting on the shelf so long that it expired. That is the type of stuff I am to get rid of and replace with items of far more benefit to the store's economic bottom line. While we had a few openings in the concession area, I have been trying to move some Mike and Ike's stuff that Ed booked, as well as fruity Starburts, sour Skittles, and one or two other concession items that we don't normally sell but Ed had bought anyway. This left no room for the Jujyfruits I still had in the basement, so I didn't put them out. Well I don't know if Jeff's gentleman caller (bitch) has come back or not, the Steelers next two games were on Sunday and I don't work Saturday, but given the quality fo some of the people that cover that shift (eyes focused on Curtis at this point) if he had come in and Curtis didn't see them on the shelf, I have no doubt he never would have even looked in the basement. Even if he had, there is no saying that he would have found them, after all, one time Curtis told me that stocking the Snapple was confusing because there was so many flavors, which was one of many instances that made me question whether or not he can even read. So he could have went to the basement, looked directly at the Jujyfruit and saw Mxyzptlk.

In any event the candies remained in the basement, and the next two weeks saw Jeff Reed miss two field goals against the Bears in a game that the Steelers lost by three points, and the following week he missed another one in a loss to the Bengals. I have since made room for the Jujyfruits on the concession shelf, but the damage may be done. Three games into the season and the Steelers are already in third place in the division, trailing both Baltimore (3-0) and Cincinnati (2-1) and one wonders if those games could have been wins if the proper candy was available. The thing is, by admitting this, I open myself up to the wrath of the Steeler Nation, after all, when Ben Roethlisberger was involved in his motorcycle accident a couple of years back, the older lady also involved in the accident was greeted with death threats for her role in the event. So denying the Steeler kicker his candies may be opening myself up to mischief from the Steeler faithful. Thankfully I don't have a pet they can hold hostage, nor a car they can vandalize. Heck this may be one time where being poor with few worldly possessions will actually be a benefit. The best I can think they will do is burn me in effigy, and if they are going to do that I just hope they give me a day's notice so I can have a box of Jujyfruit the night before. After all, it works for Jeff.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

The power of Foamy compels you

See, I still visit here from time to time, actually I think I am here more than most these days.  Oh well, while I continue on putting together another blog entry, you get this



Our inspiration (the title for this blog)

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