Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Multiply 365 Day 151 - Not a Stanley Cup glog, oh wait, yes it is

Well I am breaking one of my rules here, or at least modifying it a bit. I originally stated that the Multiply 365 feature would not contain regularly scheduled programming around these parts, such as Stolen Content. But then I thought about it a bit and I realized, save for my commentary during commercial breaks, glogs are about 99 44/100ths percent original content anyway (I do steal some statistical stuff from ESPN or Sportsline during the game) and we have reached the Stanley Cup Final, so if I am going to break the rules and add a glog, there are few bigger sporting events to do it for. So tonight we get a glog of Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Final between the Boston Bruins and the Vancouver Canucks.

Really, you need not applaud, I know how very grateful you all are that I am providing such a service. A little bit of background on how we got here.

First off is Vancouver, a team that has never won the Stanley Cup in its history. The Canucks finished the regular season in as the #1 seed in the Western Conference and won the President's trophy (awarded to the team with the best regular season record in the NHL) with 117 points. In the first round of the playoffs Vancouver built a three games to none series lead over the defending Stanley Cup Champion Chicago Blackhawks, only to see that lead evaporate before finally winning a game 7 in overtime, 2-1 to move onto the second round, where they faced the Nashville Predators, a team they dispatched 4 games to two and then the San Jose Sharks, who they defeated in even swifter fashion, 4 games to one.

 

Boston entered the post season as the #3 seed seed coming out of the Eastern Conference, by virtue of their winning the Northeast Division (their record was actually fourth best in the East). This will be Boston's first appearance in the Stanley Cup Final since 1990 and they haven't won the Cup since 1972, having failed in their last five attempts to hoist Lord Stanley's trophy. Boston drew the Montreal Canadiens in the first round of the playoffs in a matchup of Original Six teams, and had to rally back from being down two games to none, before doing what their Western counterpart did in the first round, win a Game 7 in overtime (4-3) to win the series four games to three and advance to the next round, where they played the Philadelphia Flyers, a team that bounced them from the playoffs last year after Boston had built a three games to none lead. This time there would be far less drama and the Bruins swept the Flyers in four straight games to reach the conference final, where they played a seven game series against the Tampa Bay Lightning, and winning a thrilling game 7, 1-0 to earn the right to represent the Eastern Conference in the Stanley Cup Final.

My god, I just looked back and I have typos galore. Proof reading this is going to be a bitch. And I haven't even gotten to the fun part of trying to properly spell a bunch of foreign names yet. If this gets too complicated, everyone might end up being referred top as John Doe. Just for simplicities sake.

The teams did play once this year, a game that Boston won 3-1, though obviously the stakes were not nearly as great then as they are now.

Okay the TV is fired up, I think I have the requisite windows open on the computer, to borrow from the Greek philosopher Michael Buffer, "Let's get ready to glog!!!!!!". Okay, I probably should have yelled that, but knowing my luck I would have done the rest of this entry in capital letters as well, and we all know how off putting that can be.

The Stanley Cup Final is brought to you by Geico. Because nothing says mainstream appeal here in the states like having just one main sponsor. And people wonder why the Atlanta Thrashers are moving the franchise to Winnipeg.

For the record, while glogging tonight I will be dining on chicken marco polo. I am not sure what it is, it was one of those freebies in the freezer at work. I am just hoping I don't have to sit here blindfolded and going "Marco?" and hope that my fork can find the bowl when it says "Polo".

We are in pregame coverage and it is time for the first commercial break. Which starts off nicely enough, a promo for the French Open coverage this weekend. I watched a bit of the coverage this weekend, but usually I don't get too geared up until the semis or finals of tennis majors. And don't get me started on the East Bumfuck Open, I couldn't care who wins that tournament. That is a flaw with tennis and golf, too many useless tournaments that no one cares about delete the interest in the events that are truly significant. Now maybe if those events were qualifiers for the right to play at a major they would be more interesting, but the current format just does nothing for me.

Second commercial break during pregame. Spots for Cisco, Discover, Wendy's, and Lexus. I can't say enough how pleased I am. Four legitimate big name spot sells, no retarded Geico Caveman commercial, and no spot for a beer company that makes all beer drinkers look like fucking morons. The only thing that makes it even better is the marco polo is done and sitting beside me as I type.

Commercial break #3, Green Lantern movie tie in, Verizon Mobile, Edward Jones, Geico (with the fucking caveman), and Pizza Hut. Three commercial breaks and already NBC has probably made more money here than they had with an entire season of "Law & Order: Los Angeles".

Time for the national anthems (United States and Canada) and what remains one of the most impressive spectacles in sports for me is listening to Canadian fans sing their country's anthem prior to a contest. They have a tendency of drowning out the actual anthem singer. Tonight is no different. Just simply amazing stuff. The singer actually stops in the middle and lets the audience sing the middle part.

8:22 pm the puck is dropped and the Stanley Cup final is underway.

Of course that means my phone starts ringing. Well screw that noise, we are doing some serious work here. Tim Thomas makes the first big save for Boston in the contest, something he has done all season for Boston, setting a record for save percentage by a goaltender for a year.

Canucks generating a ton of early pressure in this contest, the game is barely two minutes old and they have already rung up 4 shots, to just one for Boston.

I should never multitask. Was trying to send Madden gifts out on Facebook and now it is Boston generating the offense, while I am dawdling elsewhere but here. Memo to self, save multitasking for intermission.

Vancouver commits the game's first penalty, a high stick on Daniel Sedin against Zedeno Chara and Boston will put out their powerplay unit. Again I think John Doe sounds better after typing that.

The penalty on Sedin was a double minor, for those not fluent in hockey speak, that means it is two 2 minute penalties served consecutively. If a goal is scored in the first two minutes, that penalty gets wiped out and the second two minute penalty begins

The Bruins are generating some shots from having the man advantage, but many of the shots are way outside, and nothing is getting generated in close. Luongo has been good at not leaving any big rebounds from getting out away from him, and limiting the Bruins second chance opportunities.

Finally a shot inside on a nice pass to Nathan Horton in the crease, kept out of the net in part because a Vancouver defenseman fell on top of the puck to stop play.

The Bruins have run off the game's last nine shots while on this power play, and just as the Canucks finish killing off the penalty, they get a three on two break back into the Boston zone, forcing Tim Thomas to make another big save.

Vancouver will now get a power play chance, as Chris Kelly gets called for a high stick. This is only of the two minute variety, no double minor on the call. Unlike Boston, who seemed to be more content from outside, Vancouver is coming to the net more before shooting. But the power play is short lived, as Vancouver gets called for their second penalty, Alex Burrows, 2 minutes, holding. So for about 40 seconds we have 4 on 4 hockey, followed by an abbreviated Boston power play.

It should be noted that if I were to say "Marco" right now, the "Polo" would be coming from my stomach.

6:50 left in the first and from what I can ascertain so far, Vancouver seems to be the stronger team when the teams are even, but the Bruins have had 5+ minutes of power play time so far.

Of course as soon as I say that Boston takes another penalty, let's see if Vancouver can takle advantage here, unlike last time when they took a penalty while playing 5 on 4. The call was holding the stick on Brad Marchant. I know if they were in my house some nights, I too would be guilty of that penalty.

Boston killed off the penalty, both teams have failed in their power play opprtunities so far, but I am seeing Tim Thomas give up more rebounds in goal than his Vancouver counterpart.

Okay, got my first stupid beer commercial. Actually 17 minutes in, that isn't half bad. And our fourth major fast food commercial, we have now had Wendy's, Pizza Hut, Subway and McDonald's all chime in. This may be the most revenue NBC has generated on a show since Seinfeld.

The last couple of minutes have been less than exciting, lots of dumping and cycling by the Bruins, but not a lot of shots being generated. On the plus they are keeping the puck in the Vancouver end, but not getting a lot of chances. As the horn sounds there are a few slight fisticuffs breaking out, no actual fight, more serious clutching and grabbing than anything else, but we have reached the end of the first period and the score is tied, 0-0. Boston has a 17-12 lead in shots, but many of those came on the power play.

1st intermission, I will work on some more Madden gifts, and maybe some other things while I have the time.

I decided to use some of the free time in the 1st intermission to make another batch of iced tea. It is one of my favorite summertime beverages, and let's face it, if it is 90 degrees outside, it is summertime, calendar be damned. Besides, there is only so much out of date coffee drink one can consume, regardless of how tasty it may be.

By the way, I am going to go ahead and create a second waiver to this blog/glog entry. If the game should go into overtime or multiple overtimes and run past midnight, it is still counting as my Wednesday entry because I did start it at 7:30pm on Wednesday and it isn't like I got up and walked away from the computer, I am really at the mercy of people who don't give a rat's ass about whether or not I get this done by midnight, silly them thinking the hockey game was more important. They obviously haven't read the page, if they did their opinion might be swayed somewhat.

I can't remember the last time I was this impressed with NBC in the commercial department. Save for the early French Open promo, there hasn't been a single commercial pimping the NBC fall lineup, which is good for a number of reasons, one being that it means that they are actually able to sell the breaks to real advertisters, a plus to hockey on TV in the future and two because I have seen some of those promos already and it looks like another 4th place season for NBC is in the offing, because there hasn't been a single one that compelled me to watch this fall, but plenty that said I would rather sit through a Lawrence Welk marathon on PBS.

Second period underway and the result of the late first period fisticuffs is a minor penalty to Patrice Bergeron and a double minor to Alex Burrows. Not only that, but less than a minute into the second Vancouver takes another penalty, Kevin Bieksa gets called for high sticking and Boston is skating with a 5 on 3 advantage here early on.

Nothing for Boston with the 5 on 3 here, but they still have a half minute for the 5 on 4 advantage. But that is unproductive as well and both teams are again skating at full strength.

More fisticuffs, this time after a cross check by David Krejci and Vancouver will get a power play off of the cross check penalty. Nolthing is doled out for the post penalty pushing and shoving that took place.

Another unproductive power play, and after 6 minutes have run off the clock here in the second period I am starting to wonder if anyone will score. Somebody better, I have to work in the morning and it will be a mucho busy day. We have at least 275 cases of beverage coming in and a grocery order. Yes, the holiday fucked up my delivery schedule that bad. If I am up half the night with this, I might just be further ahead to go to work after the game than to go to bed.

At least the tea turned out pretty good. I got something accomplished besides lots of inane yammering.

A delayed penalty call and Ryan Kessler comes racing down the ice but can't get a good shot off on Tim Thomas. Still Vancouver will get a man advantage here, not that power plays have meant a whole lot to this point, but it is an advantage nonetheless. The call was kneeing on Dennis Seidenberg. To make matters worse for Boston, Richard Peverly takes a penalty as well, hooking and Vancouver gets their first 5 on 3 opportunity. Though it ends up being short lived as again Alex Burrows also takes a penalty, inexcuseable in that you kill part of a 5 on 3 for your team, instead it will be 4 on 3 fror a while, the 4 on 4 and finally Boston will have about a 10 second power play at the very end of this nonsense.

Commercial for Green Latern (technically there were also two tie in commercials as well so far) and it is coming out June 17th, or the day before my birthday. A fine gift idea would be to Fandago me some tickets. Just sayin'.

All of the penalty nonsense has ended and of course, no scoring. I will be here most of the night. I can just feel it.

At least the game has opened up a bit, after a long spell of only two shots, both by Vancouver on the power play, we have seen some end to end action here, lots of three on two breaks, with the goaltenders and defenseman doing some extraordinary work to keep it scoreless.

Another penalty here late in the second period, Patrice Bergeron is called for a trip and with just 2:10 left in the second period, vancouver will have the man advantage for two minutes.

Well, if you were expecting a goal there then you are sadly disappointed as Boston killed off the penalty and after two periods we are still scoreless. While you all go fetch a frosty beverage and await the third period, I am going to open this email I got from Representative Weiner, just to see if his Weiner is in it. For those who instead are more stastically inclined, both teams had 8 shots in the second epriod, so Boston still leads overall in shots, 25-20.

Third period underway, the only bad news to report is that NBC finally ran a promo for one of their fall comedies, with comedy being anything that includes piped in laughter in lieu of actual guffawing, because that was just awful. One would think that if you were promoting a show you would pick one of the better moments to tease people into viewing, if that is as good as it gets that show is done in 4 weeks, tops.

Okay, let's get back to the more important thing here, that being hockey and the fact Tim Thomas just robbed Rafi Torres to keep the game scoreless. I am really not liking my chance of getting this done before midnight right now,. I am not sure either goaltender can be beaten. At least not tonight. Maybe in the wee hours of tomorrow morning perhaps.

Well it wasn't a commercial, more of an in game promo for the upcoming live episodes of "The Voice", and hey, two of the contestants kissed yesterday during their duet, because nothing says singing quite like, well, not singing.  Can I get a "bread and circuses" from the congregation.  Hallelujah!!!!!

Another spectacular save by Tim Thomas on a breakaway into the Boston zone. Unbelievable stop actually. If I had to pick the three stars of this game, two of them are going to the goaltenders. 54 shots so far and 54 saves.

Okay, we are back to the shitty ads again. A spot for GoDaddy.com, which might as well be advertising porn pages for the way they market themselves. Not saying that everyone using the service is posting porn, but that seems to be how they are selling themselves.

Almost 9 minutes into the third period, and while there have been good scoring chances for both teams, we still have yet to see the game's first goal, though the number of penalties has declined, nothing has been called yet here in the third period.

The pace has gotten more frantic, I think both teams realize at this point that one goal will probably win it. I would joke I turned on a hockey game aqnd a soccer match broke out, but really it has been some outstanding goaltending that has kept it scoreless thus far. Heck another shot just hit the post. I realize my words can't possibly do justice to the effort and action that is taking place right now, but I also can't tell you to watch because this will be posted after the fact. Though the game may end up on hulu.com at some point, I know previous Stanley Cup games have ended up there, so you may get to go back and see what all the glog is about. Worst case scenario there is always the NHL channel on Youtube, though it is just highlights, it might be worth a gander, if only to see how exciting a scoreless but well played hockey game can be.

3 and a half minutes left before a possible overtime period. It is looking more and more like that will be the case.

Of course I am also running the risk of running out of cigarettes before this glog ends. The things I do for this page.

Oh my gawd. A Vancouver goal with just 19 seconds left and the Canucks have a 1-0 lead. Rafi Torres gets the goal on a pretty feed from Jannick Hansen. Ryan Kessler gets the secondary assist.

Boston pulls their goaltender for an extra attacker for the last 19 seconds, but it doesn't matter, the damage has been done and Vancouver wins game 1 of the best of seven series, 1-0. And with that I am going to call it a night. I have lots of errors to fix here, enough so that it would make taking crayon off a wall seem simple by comparison.  For the record though I was correct on the three stars, #1 went to Robert Luongo (36 shots. 36 saves), #2 Tim Thomas (34 shots, 33 saves) and #3 Rafi Torres (GW goal).  Okay, I got work to do.

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