There is something that happens on a lot of Thursdays that I am not sure I mentioned in the blog before. But since it happened again today I guess it bears mentioning.
Part of my job on Thursday consists of placing grocery orders for our two downtown stores. I usually start with Universal News, because it is the easier of the two stores and because I am the only person who knows how to place an order there. I guess it is part of my indispensable nature.
The trip between the stores is a relatively short one, just a walk down Smithfield Street about four blocks, then hang a left on 5th Avenue and it is a couple of doors down on the left hand side. What makes Thursdays unique however is that on the other side of the intersection of 5th Avenue and Smithfield Street a guys usually stands there spots religious nonsense at the top of his lungs. I call him “Jesus on a Stick Guy” because he is usually standing there with a sandwich board sign draped over him and a giant pole like think with a Jesus on a cross on the top of it.
He will stand there yelling things like “Repent” and “Damnation for all you sinners”. Of course when I see him, I can't help put channel my inner Homer Simpson and yell back “Save me Jeebus”. Today was no different than most Thursdays, save for he traded in his giant Jesus on a Stick for a much smaller one that could be held in a hand (I call it his travel version), but the yelling and everything were all pretty much the same as they ever was (thank you Talking Heads).
But I think I may how found the savior's weakness today. There is a T Mobile store almost directly across the street from Universal News. There usually is nothing all that noteworthy about that store, I am sure it is like many other T Mobile stores around the country. But today it was different. They were doing some promotion to get people to come in, with a table set up and balloon and other promotional stuff to get people to buy their phones and services. But the kicker was that along with this table, they also brought out a grill and were grilling hot dogs and hamburgers to give away to potential customers.
It was then that I realized the power of grilled meat, as the scent had apparently chased Jesus on a Stick guy from the corner, or else he ascended to heaven, who knows. But he was gone, faster than a pedophile priest escaping justice. So I guess this is a good day for vegetarians who hope for salvation some day. For those who like meat, maybe not so much.
Maybe Jeebus on a stick was afraid he'd become s shish kabob.
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