Blogger 365 Day 50 - Reminiscing

     Usually after I finish up a blog entry my thoughts turn quickly to the next one.  After all, if I am going to be grinding these out on a daily basis I can't afford myself the luxury of sitting back and rethinking what I had just wrote, nor sitting idly by until once again the muse strikes me.  Instead it has to be more of a forward looking process, or as I like to say at work (stealing from the Greek philosopher Jed Bartlett) "What's next?".

     While I do not rethink what I have previously written, at the end of each blog there is just a feeling.  Not sure how to describe it other than that, a feeling or a sense.  On some days it is a sense of cleverness, almost pride, with what was on the page, other days it just feels like it didn't connect in a way that I wanted it to.  I have been having more of the latter thoughts recently than the former ones.  In my own eyes I am not sure I have done anything creative or clever with the page since possibly my Grammy blog.  Since then the muse has been missing, more autobiographical than creative.  Not that bios can be all bad, if there is a good story in what happened then they can be quite fun, but more often than not recently it just feels like m writing has been more along the lines of a grocery list.  Milk, check.  Bread, check.  Eggs, check. 

      Last night I decided to delve back into the archives, but rather than just pull blog entries at random I used one of the tools here on Blogger where I could just read comments, and if a blog entry garnered enough responses or I found a response particularly interesting then I would go and check out that entry just to see what all of the hullabaloo was about. 

     Some of what I read was funny, I almost found myself laughing at some of the things I wrote.  Others times it was critical, but from an informed point of view.  Even the entries that were more about me than anything else, when I checked back to see what had spurred those comments that I had just read, the language was at least colorful.  It was like I could pull on just a thread of an idea, and while I might not be one to make a complete tapestry of it, it was certainly better than a color by numbers exercise. 

      I think the best way to describe it was there was a certain passion about it, and emotional attachment that was more consistent than I have been able to generate for the first 50 days of this project.  I am not sure why either, though I do have a couple of guesses at it; 1) I am still unknowingly gun shy about throwing stuff up on the page after all but neglect blogging for better than a year.  Save for the occasional post here and there I was really almost blogging in absentia, just a hockey or music video once in a while and nothing of merit coming forth from my mind or fingertips because I was letting someone besides myself call the shots and 2) I am not out as much anymore and many of those creative blogs that were autobiographical in nature came from going out and experiencing things, rather than just sheltering myself in my apartment, waiting for the next work day to arrive.  It is hard to write about things that happen to you when you don't do anything.  Fancy that.

     The only other explanation would be that I no longer have the mental faculties to write, and that is just an idea I find farcical.  I am not dumber than I was a few years ago, nor am I incapable of being witty, I usually am quite witty on a daily basis in person (unless I am pissed off, then leave me alone), so if I go to the chalkboard I think I just figured out how to proceed.

Openness + Life Experience + Wittiness = Blog

Why didn't somebody tell me this years ago?  You could have saved me a few paragraphs here.