Multiply 365 Day 236 - Original or extra crispy?

 

I am not what you would call a religious guy. I guess my fundamental problem comes with the notion of an afterlife and whether one will be elevated to a place of paradise or burdened with eternal damnation based on worshiping a single entity. If there were such an entity, and that was the basis for inclusion or exclusion, then I would suggest such an entity has some issues he probably needs to work on. So when it comes to concepts like heaven and hell, any one who knows me knows the party line response (provided those places exist) is “It isn't a matter of heaven or hell, but original or extra crispy.”

See, the thing is sometimes I see stuff and the worst of my inner funny guy comes out. I would like to think I am a relatively funny guy (you might not think so, in which case I suggest commenting to tell me how unfunny I am) but often the funny part is not very kind. It can be downright cruel to be honest. Prime example was yesterday when I was waiting for my bus to head home from work. Across the street was a family unpacking a car, as the students at Point Park University are coming back from summer break. So mom and dad were helping their daughter move in. And the daughter was not a small girl, by not small I mean bigger than me. I readily admit that I could stand to lose a few pounds, I am not a peak physical specimen by any standards, so if you are even bigger than me, then you too are not a peak physical specimen. Anyway, as they are unpacking the car, she pulls out one of those long, slender door mirrors, the kind you would hang on maybe the back of a closet door or something. And the first thought that crossed my mind was “That better be a fun house mirror, that will be the only way she fits in it.” Original or extra crispy indeed.

If that were an isolated incident I suppose we could write it off as an out of character moment, but it isn't. It's par for the course. Just the other day Ed asked me when we were going to write back to our prison pen pal and the first words out of my mouth were “She isn't going anywhere.” Which is true, I believe she still has about 13 months to serve yet. So barring a prison break, I think we are relatively secure in just where her location will be.

And today, I am sitting at my desk and a slew of invoices had piled up, I had been letting them go a bit because of other pressing matters that required my attention. I know that I 'll be in on Saturday, I can easily get caught up on my paperwork then (though I did get a large chunk of it done today) but in a stack of invoices that was tossed on my desk was an application that had been completed. I have nothing to do with hiring of people (though I do get a say on the firings of my own crew) but somehow this application got stuck in my paperwork. So now I am reading it and it turns out this particular person worked for us before (though before I actually worked there), so now I am looking at the job history and it seems that she worked for us, but then left to take a job as a cashier at a grocery store (Foodland). Leave it to me to just blurt out “In the business I believe we call this career advancement.” Though to be fair, the application was funny on its own without my input, at one point there was reference to a job at Donut Connection and the reason for leaving was........drum roll please.......”tired of donuts”. I don't know, there is a simple honesty there that is both funny and telling. I almost hope Ed does rehire her for that answer alone.

Well, I am going to scoot. I still need to shower yet this evening before bed. If seven herbs and spices come out instead of water, well, you know what happened.