Multiply 365 Day 92 - Blogtionary? Lexiblog?

Every now and again I suppose a new person will stumble upon this page. After all, with my new entries popping up on Facebook and me having a few contacts over there (870 to be exact), every now and again this place needs a reset, just so that the newbies don't get all lost in some of the things I say or do. Plus there are times where things that I say on an almost everyday basis ("All we do is dominate" comes to mind) that might find there way onto the page and leave the reader with a quizzical look, as if they just cracked open a blog written in a foreign language. So today we will do the Matt Pritt lexicon, some words and phrases and what they mean when I utter them.

"All we do is dominate" - Saying first created by me, now used by Sammy and I at work for just the kick ass job we do on a daily basis.  Not that I have an ego or anything.

Government work - Used to describe any piece of shoddy work for which the actual worker can expect no repercussions whatsoever.

TITIT - Things I Think I Think - a type of blog where I rant on any of a number of topics in short form. It has become a replacement for.....

Blunt Force Trauma - a long winded blog where I rant on one specific topic, probably longer than anyone who is reading would really like but hey, this is my page so what are you going to do about it, besides enter in another web address and move along to topics more interesting.

Change meter - This has been going on since the earliest days of the blog. Originally I wanted to do it just so I could do something that nobody else was doing, but the damn thing has taken a life of its own, having been around for better than 5 years now. Simply put the change meter is a running tally of all monies I find lying on the ground.

"If my aunt had a dick, she would be my uncle" - I usually utter this when someone makes a comment about how close something was to happening. Like when the local weatherman says "Had this cold front pushed further north, we would have had additional precipitation." Yes sir, and if my aunt had a dick, she would be my uncle. Get it? Good.

"Swing batter, batter, batter, batter swing" - A chant most often used in Little league baseball, I tend to use it when I see a nice ass walk by. Hey, I can be as much of a pig as the next guy.

'Pow chicka pow" - Sex  Many thanks to PittGirl/That's Church for that particular phraseology.

Stolen Content - Anything I find on the web that I find particularly interesting, usually of the editorial variety. I try not to be too one sided in who I select when it comes to the political spectrum, I tend to just pick pieces I agree with regardless of ideology.

Moonbats - Unaffectionate term I use for those people who are all caught up in conspiracy nonsense, such as 911 Truthers, and North American Union idiots. By the way, how is that superhighway working out for you guys? And I am still waiting for my first paycheck in Ameros, damn it.

"The Greek philosopher....." - Usually used when I am about to quote somebody who is almost never a) Greek or b) a philosopher. For example, "The Greek philosopher Rick Flair once said, "You can love me, you can hate me, but I am the best thing going today. Woooo!""

Dyslexic hands - a malady which I credit all of my typos to. Usually it involves a juxtaposition of letters, such as me spelling open as opne, or adding an extra letter to a word because my fat fingers have managed to slap multiple keys while mashing the keyboard.

Glog - This is a game blog, that is I am blogging live during a live sporting event. The blog itself gets posted after the game, but the content is written as the game is being played.

Asshat - Blog feature where someone goes above and beyond the call of just plain stupid.

"I am outtie, like a belly button" - Phrase usually reserved for when I am about to leave an place, like work.

Low food security - Phrase I borrowed from the Bush Administration, when they opted to use that set of terms to describe hunger. So when I am hungry I suffer from low food security.

The Rick Sebak Channel - Locally it is channel 13.3 over the Pittsburgh airwaves and carries almost exclusively Rick Sebak documentaries about the Pittsburgh region, such as "Pittsburgh:From A to Z" and "Things That Aren't There Anymore". Hint to Rick, we can tell those things aren't there because, well, they aren't there. And water is wet.

Scrumdillyicious - Anything that is tasty. Many thanks to the fine people at Dairy Queen for coming up with that word.

Cancer Stick - a cigarette

"Every day is a day closer to my last day" - One of two truisms that govern my universe, the other being "Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed".

Dr. Theopolis - From Buck Rogers, it was the robot who bore a striking resemblance to a canteen with flickering lights. Used to describe a singer whose voice is so overprocessed that they sound less like they are singing and more like a robot.

"I've got candy and you ain't got none" - usually sung while putting the grocery order away at work.

Dumbass - a term I call myself when I make any one of a number of stupid mistakes that happen all too frequently for my liking.

Bullshit work - Anything that pulls me from my primary responsibilities at work.

Babysitting - Any time I am left in charge of the store. Thankfully I haven't been given babysitting duties in months.

Assume the commissionary position - Used when I not only participate in a fantasy league, but am asked to run it as well.

Fat Camp - My term for NBC's "Biggest Loser". I feel a hankering of Krusty Brand Imitation Gruel coming on.

Bachelor cooking - What usually happens when I am left to my own devices in the kitchen. Sometimes it works, other times not so much.

Reset - An entry like this one, where I go explaining what the page is about.

"........everywhere like such as.........." - The title of the blog. Many thanks to the former Miss Teen South Carolina for the inspiration. For those that don't know what I am talking about, look it up on Youtube. You will be happy you did.

"That warms the cockles of my heart" - Something that pleases me.

Multiply 365 - A project where I add something new and original to the page everyday for an entire calendar year, like this entry which is part of Multiply 365.

Okay, that is a brief rundown, I am sure there are other things I haven't thought of, if needed I can explain them as they occur in future blogs, but for now this is a good starting point for the blog visiting newbie. For those that aren't newbies, relax, we will resume regularly scheduled blogging tomorrow.