Friday, April 15, 2011

Multiply 365 Day 104 - Meatatarians Unite!!!!

Gee I did leave a little on the table after the last entry didn't I? Well, I guess there is a common theme in those things I mentioned, that being food or lack thereof. Still it is probably best to start from the beginning, so we will start with "Fat Camp" and work from there.

As many of you know, I am not a big fan of "Fat Camp", or as NBC calls it "The Biggest Loser". This season has been particularly bad, with people gaining weight or quitting rather than fighting to stay on the show. After this season of lowlights the show is down to 9 contestants. And how should we reward this sorry lot of people? Why with a trip to New Zealand of course. Not that I have anything against rewarding those that are deserving, but I think we got this season in a nutshell when it came time to the weigh ins of  this group after one week into their trip overseas. Of the nine people left, one lost no weight and two gained weight. That is right, 33% of the entire group failed in the task upon which the show is based, that being to lose weight. And of course it came time to vote someone to go home, because they have yet to adopt my idea of gaining weight being an automatic disqualification, and once again in lieu of having a spirited discussion or building any sort of palpable drama over who might or might not go home, we had someone quit. It is government work come to reality television.  Let the rewarding of failure commence!

Now there are some people who know me, or at least know of me, that would take one look at my physique and question whether or not I have the right to mock those on "Fat Camp" because I am far from a perfect physical speciman and I certainly could lose a few pounds to which I would say they would be absolutely correct. But I don't want to. And I don't pretend I do want to only to be on TV. And after pretending I do want to and getting on TV I don't then show the world just how much of an abject failure I actually am. So if I am calling people out, it is because they deserve to be called out. If I can sit through a week and watch one of the contestants treat a bag of tortilla chips like it is a lost oasis in the middle of the desert and still see him lose more weight than some of the other contestants that are allegedly trying, then mocking of all of the contestants must ensue.

Since I readily admit that I am fat, I can then say that rather than audition for a TV show, instead on Wednesday I decided to take in the fare at the Pittsburgh Burger Company. I hadn't had a good palaver with Phil in a while, so I decided to give him a ring and see if he wanted to check out the new place which opened at the Waterfront where formerly Fuddruckers used to be. Apparently the same people run the business, but they wanted to get out of the chain type restaurant and instead open something that is more of a gourmet burger shop. The place is still a work in progress, they are doing some remodeling and the menu is still in the process of being tweaked but they have kept the intrusions into the dining experience to a minimum, at least during our visit. The menu is mostly burgers, there are a few other sandwiches on it as well and some appetizers, but obviously the burgers are what they want to be known for. And truth be told, when most of the burgers check in at 8 oz. and are served with either bottomless soup, bottomless salad or bottomless french fries, appetizers are almost not needed unless you are taking a group to tackle the appetizer ahead of time. The burgers are in three groups, there is the basic type burger where you build your own, specialty burgers that are designed by the house and burgers made from things other than typical ground beef, such as buffalo, ostrich, and kobe beef. Phil got just a traditional burger, I went for one of the specialty burgers (The Company Burger - 8 oz ground beef, Applewood bacon, Cheddar cheese, fried egg) and the sandwiches were very yummy. The fries were okay, nothing spectacular. I would argue they would be better served making their own rather than the batter dipped, shoestring offerings they have that are obviously shipped in. But on the plus side, as well as having pepper grinders on the table, in place of table salt they had ground sea salt which gave even the mediocre fry offerings a nice touch of originality.

It was during this trip to the Pittsburgh Burger Company (and it's mediocre fry offerings) that I came up with an idea that wouldn't appeal to many, but would appeal to me, an all meat restaurant. As some of my blog readers know, I hold a certain about of disdain for vegetarians, arguing that they suffer from meat envy, because unlike us meat eaters, they seem to try to pass off their non meat offerings as meat. I don't know how many times I have seen such things as veggie burgers, tofu turkey, etc. yet I have never seen a good old meat eater deciding that his animal flesh would be better if it was masqueraded as a vegetable product. There are no beef carrots, no one is clamoring for chicken pressed in the shape of broccoli. It just doesn't happen, we are content with our food in its most tasty form, that being meat. Yet there are restaurants out there that have either a few vegetarian offerings, or are completely vegetarian and I ask myself, where are the meatatarian restaurants? The places that serve nothing but meat. Would my burger had been any less enjoyable if, instead if french fries, they instead served chicken fingers as a side? Sure the lettuce and tomato were nice, but my burger was best served with the non vegetable offerings, the bacon and egg. So why not have a restauarnt that only offers meat? Not saying it would be an everyday destination for everyone, but I know I could do it once in a while.

Oh well, the best laid plans and all that jazz. I guess I should stop now, there is an animal out there that needs a good eating.

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