Multiply 365 Day 299 - Where we are at

I guess now is the time I start to spill a few more beans about what is going on round these parts.  I am sure that you all have gathered that I am in a relationship with someone.  If not, the amount of smiling I do on a daily basis would most surely give it away.  And given how long it has been going on now, I feel more comfortable in saying a few things about it, without getting into too many details, there are still some issues that I would like to keep private.

First is that the relationship is an online one at this point.  We live a significant distance apart, so for either of us to just decide to meet would be a pretty big step on either of our parts.  Not that we haven't discussed it, we have, but it isn't something that will happen overnight.  We are both taking the time to get to know each other, exploring each others likes and dislikes, talking about our pasts and presents and exploring our dreams for the future.  Whenever we do decide to meet, it is going to be at a time and place in our relationship where we are both comfortable in taking that step.

There are nights where we just sit up and talk for the longest time laughing, or listening to each others concerns and what seems like just a few minutes is actually a few hours just blowing by.  Whether it be chatting on voice, or just sending a hurried email, I find my days are so much better just by having her in them.  It is a place that I can't believe I am in at times, certainly anyone who has read the blog for longer than a week has to wonder just who the hell is doing the writing around here these days.  It is just the same old me, with a side of happiness thrown in for good measure.

There have been moments to this point where we have both questioned things, in a world full of sham artists it is very hard to take things at face value without a certain critical eye.  It may be the downside of not meeting first in person, but by the same token I find the time we are spending to really learn about each other ahead of time is a bonus in its own right.  Some of the more petty things that go with meeting in person are all but washed aside this way.  We have exchanged photos, so when we do decide to meet we have an idea of who to look for at the airport but we haven't got hung up on initial appearances that can ruin the chance of really getting to know someone.

Not that everything has been all hugs and kisses, there have been bumps along the way, moments where we have both slipped up, but even in those times I find that I want to fix things, make them better and move on, without looking back.  That in and of itself is a place I am not sure I have ever been emotionally before.  Our pasts are just that, the past.  Whether something happened be before or after we met, we provide a shoulder for support for each other, pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and continue forward together.

This has been an eye opening experience for me, after spending literally years on this page talking about how I didn't mind being single, I now look back and wonder why I ever thought that way.  To a certain extent I am glad I did feel that way then, otherwise I might not have ever met her, or if I did, might not have been graced with her presence in my life as anything more than an acquaintance.  Instead, just by her being who she is, she not only found her way into my life, but my heart as well.

There is a downside to all of this, just not for me.  Instead it is for you.  While I have been talking and writing to her on a daily basis, I haven't been here on a daily basis as much.  There is only so much writing I can do in one day, and my best writing these days is saved for her.  Sorry, I guess that is just the way the cookie crumbles some times.  But there is something to be said for going into work and people seeing a change in me, and no it isn't me losing weight or growing an inch taller, it is an actual change in overall outlook and that is due to her.    So if I am making a trade by being more liberal with my blogging to spend time with her, well that is a trade I will make any day and twice on Sunday.

Okay, now you know a little bit more.  Not all of it, but enough.  And enough will have to do for now.