Normalcy revisited, Steelers-Browns in glog form

Told you I would be back, and things would eventually return to normal, and what better way to do normal than with a glog of tonight's football game between the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Cleveland Browns. Since kickoff is still an hour and change away however, I am going to sneak in a game of baseball on the PS2. Yes, two sentences in and already I am taking a break, a new record for me.

I have snuck in a couple of games since the last blog. All is okay on the Joe Random front, I have cut the lead in homeruns down to 2, and I still lead in batting average and RBIs, so the elusive triple crown could be mine.

Well the game is over, a 6-4 win for the Devil Rays over Minnesota and I have clinched one of the playoff spots, though I was hardly a factor, going 1-5 with a double and run scored. As a result I now trail by three homeruns. Damn it! My double does put me in a tie for 14th place in that category, with 35 on the season, but doubles don't equate to Triple Crown glory.

Well, I guess a little preview of tonight's contest. Pitsburgh enters the game 1-0 with a win last week over Houston (38-17) while Cleveland was on the the losing end of a blowout in Week 1 dropping a contest to the Dallas Cowboys (28-10). not that either of those scores are indicative of what will happen tonight, but a win would give sole possession of first place in the AFC North to Pittsburgh, while a loss would give the early division lead to Baltimore, who while undefeated, have the odd scheduling quirk of a bye week in just the second week of the season.

Don't mind me, I am just making some pierogis for dinner. Yes, football and blogging requires nourishment. Well, I don't know if those particular activities require nourishment, but I do, and since I am doing this, I will feast, or at least nosh.

My fanatsy football team was solid today, if unspectacular, well save for Brandon Marshall, who is still playing right now, but already has 18 catches for 166 yards and a touchdown. I can live with those numbers. But still, I dodged a couple of bullets, if I had to look at my roster and my opponent's roster coming into today, I would have taken him. Oh well, I will see how it all plays out, I had decent games from my defense (New England) and two running backs (Matt Forte and Chris Johnson) and Peyton Manning and Wes Welker were serviceable enough. One of the things I will be watching for tonight though is how Pittsburgh does, because my opponent has both Willie Parker and Heath Miller from Pittsburgh.

I am not sure what else to write about until game time. Nothing all that exciting is happening. Work is as work does, though now, even though I am salaried, i am filling out time sheets and billing the station for overtime. Before I would just let the extra hours slide, but now that they want me there producing shows on Sunday and basically wasting the one day where I could work at my own pace, or if I had my stuff done ahead of time, take the day off, now they are being billed for every single hour I work, regardless of me being salaried or not.

I might have to save this blog from time to time tonight, there are wind warnings about. Yes, in case you were wondering, the weather service asks that you fear the wind. Really, is there any weather phenomena that you shouldn't be afraid of? Strikes me as a little too much fear mongering, but I suppose it gives the usually wrong weatherman some personal degree of satisfaction to know that no matter what the conditions, your life could be in danger.

Speaking of life in danger, I have a hard decision on the Asshat front. I will roll it around in my cranium for the time being, but rest assured, stupidity is not dead.

Looks like we are just about underway, Pittsburgh will kick to Cleveland. I will eat another pierogi, smothered with butter and garlic, which is good for me, probably not so good for those behind me tomorrow as garlic and my backside have a less than friendly relationship. Oh well, the price for eating good I guess.

Two plays for Cleveland so far net a total of two yards, we have a third and 8 early in the contest. Pittsburgh struggled last year getting off the field on third down, but no such problem here, and incomplete pass will bring up 4th down and a punt from Cleveland. Pittsburgh will take over after the Steelers fail to field the punt and have it roll instead, resulting in a decent effort for the Cleveland punter.

Pittsburgh starts the game with three consecutive passes, all completions, and as a result, we have the game's first first down. I sneak an extra save in on my typing efforts so all is not lost should the power go out due to wind. Don't laugh, I have lost far more on perfectly sunny days here in third world Oakland. Pittsburgh runs twice, both carries by Willie Parker and on third down Roethlisberger is sacked and the Steelers are forced to punt. Each team has exactly one possession and zero points.

During the commercial break I reset my digital antenna receiver. I am less than impressed with digital TV. Sure the picture is better, but by an large the extra channels are a vast wasteland. Channel 11, which I am watching now, has three channels, one is the network (NBC), one is just weather and one is the retro TV ntework, whose major claim to fame is they run Quincy and Ironside back to back during the afternoon.

Another three and out for Cleveland and Pittsburgh fields the susequent punt, but get no yards on the return.

Anyway, back to my digital TV rant, another channel (Channel 4, WTAE) has two channels, the network and an all weather channel. The public broadcasting channel has three channels, two of which play the same thing almost half of the time and the third is the Rick Sebak channel. Rick is a local guy that puts together Pittsburgh specials, and while they are okay to see once or twice, I really don't need to be bombarded with "Things That Aren't There Anymore" five times a week. Same with "Kennywood Memories". If you don't have enough programming to run three channels, then what in the hell is the point in having them?

Pittsburgh goes three and out on their second possession, managing only a three yard carry by Willie Parker and two incomplete passes on the three plays. Still no score, in case you hadn't guiessed.

Wow, a commercial break and a new favorite annoying commercial, the dumb spots for Miller Lite are absolutely not funny. Not just non funny in the non ha ha sense, but non funny in the 'why in the hell would I buy that product" sense.

Meanwhile, Cleveland faces their third third down of the game and once again they fail to convert bringing on punt #5 of tonight's contest. And for the second time in three punts, Pittsburgh fails to field it. Wow talk about the anti slobber knocker, this game is turning into a snooze fest in rapid fashion. I am almost wishing I was working on my pogo badge, which would be far better than watching this game.

Don't look now but Pittsburgh completed a pass, Roethlisberegr to Hines Ward and we have the second first down of the game. A Willie Parker run on first down and on second down Roethlisberger throws deep to Parker and it looks like the ball goes right through Parkers hands, despite being double covered. Third down and a drop by Hines Ward and out comes the punting team for punt #6 of the contest.

Oh, a breeze, maybe my apartment will cool off a little, which would be nice, because I am sweating here while I type this. Holy cow, to steal Harry Carey's line, Cleveland gets it's first first down of the contest and it only took them 13 and a half minutes.

Cleveland completes a pass but what should be third and short is nullified on an offensive pass interference call, making it second and 18 instead of third and 3. Two more incomplete passes and guess what comes next kids? If you guessed a punt, you get.a cookie. Let's see if Pittsburgh can field this one.

A commercial for the Army Reserve and what did we learn during the commercial? Members of the Army Reserve can't defend the pick and roll. That doesn't bode well for our nation's security if they can't stop a guy going to a basketball hoop.

Cleveland punts the ball away and for the thrid time in four punts Pittsburgh fails to field the ball, resulting in Dave Zastidil getting his third 50+ yard punt while kicking into the wind. Two plays and Pittsburgh gets a first down on a Willie Parker run up the middle and that ends the first quarter of less than white hot competitive action with the score tied 0-0.

So, how many Brett Farve apologists are their in Green Bay today, the Packers are 2-0, and the Jets are 1-1, and Aaron Rogers threw for over 300 yards and three TDs for the Packers while the Jets are a dying quail that was luckily caught from being 0-2.

Pittsburgh is going to....you guessed it, punt. A quarterback sneak on third and one gets negative yards, which may be positive yards in the negative zone, I will have to consult Annihilus and get back to you on that, but here in the real world it just means fourth down.

Cleveland tries to take advantage of having the wind at their backs in the second quarter, but on first down Derek Anderson floats a pass that Darren McFadden easily intercepts, which marks the first time this game that a drive didn't end in a punt, though I think Cleveland would have rather punted all things considered.

Pittsburgh uses a third down pass from Roethlisbereger to Santonio Holmes to convert a third and 7 and the drive continues. On first down Cleveland sacks Ben Roethlisberger but again is penalized on what should have been a positive play, a facemask call results in another first down for Pittsburgh.

The wind warning here was correct, we have wind. Thank you Mr Weatherman, the check is indeed in the mail.

Third and 6 and Cleveland is offsides, making it third and 1 instead. Pittsburgh fails to convert on the third and short bringing up 4th and 1 and Pittsburgh's offense stays on the field, either to hope that Cleveland jumps offside and they get the first down via penalty, or to go for it. it looks like the former and it appears to work, Cleveland does indeed jump offside, but Pittsburgh calls timeout before the penalty, thus negating a possible first down for themselves. Pittsburgh decides to go for it anyway and the play works, Willie Parker runs to the right side for 13 yards and a first down.

First down and Roethlisberger again connects with Holmes for another first down and Pittsburgh is in the red zone for the first time tonight. This is by far the most impressive drive by either team so far this evening, but that isn't saying much.

Second and 9 and Roethlisberger throws a catchable ball to Hines Ward in the end zone, a little behind him but certainly manageable, and he drops it leaving Pittsburgh with a third down and 9. Roethlisberger again goes to Ward, this time he catches the ball and hangs on and we have the game's first score. A Jeff Reed extra point and the score is Pittsburgh 7 Cleveland 0 here in the second quarter.

I think the worst part of these glogs, besides my incessant rambling, is that I have to do spell checking afterward, and by the time I am done, I have no desire to spell check anything, resulting in typos galore. Spell check isn't much help, because it wants to change every name and some of the typos it completely ignores, thinking that whatever gibberish I typed must be a word in some language.

Cleveland has the ball again, starting at their own 18 yard line after the kickoff and first down loses yards. Annihulus would be pleased. By the way, anyone who gets the Annihilus reference gets a gold star for the evening.

Cleveland gets a first down, I won't holy cow again, I will save that for a special occasion. Thjis possession is looking like Cleveland's best so far of the game, as two more running plays set up a third and short. Another run and another first down, all of a suudeen this could almost be called a drive. Derek Anderson hits Jamal Lewis over the middle on first down and the gain is 14 yards and another first down.

2 minute warning after a running play gets minus one yard for Cleveland. During the commercial break we have a commercial for the new Knight Rider. Apparently the TV movie they made last year went over so well in launching the TV series that they remade the looks on the car. Trust me guys it vwasn't the car, the idea sucked.

Anderson hits his tight end, Kellen Winslow, and another first down for Cleveland. Pittsburgh adds to Cleveland's drive here by getting nailed with an illegal contact call, good for 5 yards and a first down.

Cleveland continues to drive, picking up 5 yards on a pass and it is second and 5 inside the Pittsburgh 20 yard line. Lucky for Pittsburgh, Cleveland gets a illegal shift call and we are back to second and 10 yards. A pass gets 9 yards and on third and one Cleveland tries a quarterback sneak for the first down, a terrible call, as even if it gets the first down, it leaves about 8 seconds on the clock. Cleveland gets the first down and tries for a TD on first and 10 on the 11 yard line, knowing it will be their only shot at the endzone before they will be forced to kick a field goal, but Anderson throws his second interception of the half, this one by Troy Polamalu, ending the Cleveland drive and the first half with Pittsburgh still leading 7-0.

Duirng halftime I am going to work on my Pogo badges, so my typing stops for the time being.

Got in one round of Makeover Madness, I am up to 90 pink hairdos now. I have the other two badges so that is all I need to complete the week. Funny thing is, I just did a Makeover Madness last week, not that I like the game, but I am down to just a few badges left to get in most of my albums.

Second half underway here and it starts with Pittsburgh getting the ball to open the second half and the first play is a ten yard run by Willie Parker, getting Pittsburgh an early first down. Meanwhile I rid myself of a mutant back hair. I call them mutants because I don't have one of those fur coat type backs, but every now and again I will see a solitary hair pop up on my shoulder blade, which I will pluck out.

Commercial break for an injury. Technically I guess it is an injury time out, and once again the marketing gurus amaze me by telling me that a shaving cream is really good because a bunch of miniature women will jet pack into my nostril andf have a party if I use it. Thanks, but really, no thanks.

Pittsburgh's first drive ends in a punt, and Cleveland will take over for the first time in the second half. Cleveland goes three and out, a recurring theme to tonight's game and another recurring theme is Pittsburgh's inability to field a kicked ball as again they manage to not catch the punt and it is to Cleveland's benefit.

First down Pittsburgh and Roethlisberger finds Santonio Holmes 48 yards down field in what is by far the biggest play in the game so far. Two running plays by Willie Parker, who to this point has been held in check and it is third and 4 for Pittsburgh. An incomplete pass and Pittsburgh will be forced to punt. Check that, Pittsburgh is trying a 48 yard field goal, and despite the conditions, Reed nails the kick and Pittsburgh takes a 10-0 lead here in the third quarter.

Sorry, I avoided the comercial break and opted to start setting up to brew some iced tea. I know, I deprived you of something witty that I am sure I would have said, but then again, I deprived myself as well, and honestly, I think I am pretty funny, at least at times.

Cleveland starts this possession well, getting a first down on just two plays and following that up with a 7 yard pass, leaving a second and three, but that nets only a yard so Cleveland is faced with a third and 2 here. Jamal Lewis buries his head in the pile and just gets enough for the first down. At this point we should have a scroll across the bottom of the screen that there is a Cleveland Brown drive warning.

First down and a pass to Kellen Winslown and he makesthe catch for a first down and a roughing the passer call adds 15 yads onto the end of the play and Cleveland is down to the Pittsburgh 34 yard line.

Another Anderson pass, this one to Braylon Edwards and another first down. A pass to Edwards again, though this one is incomplete, but Ryan Clark remains down for Pittsburgh on the play and we have an injury timeout. I guess this is as good a time as any to ask, why is the NFL using "Everyday is Like Sunday" in their commercials? Have they listened to the song? Do they undertand the lyrics? Do we need Morrisey to say "Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?"

A dead ball foul, Pittsburgh called for taunting and Cleveland has first and 10 at the Pittsburgh 11 yard line. Two plays net two yards and we have third and 8 from the 9 yard line. False start on Kellen Winslow pushes Cleveland back to the 14 yard line. A terrible call and a terrible pass by Derek Anderson and Cleveland will have to settle for a 31 yard Phil Dawson field goal, and the score is now Pittsburgh 10 Cleveland 3.

The side benefit of the score is that I got to work on my iced tea during the ensuing commercial break.

Special teams fail Pittsburgh again, this time they can't field a kickoff and the result is Pittsburgh's drive will start from their own 2 yard line. Special teams have not been all that special for Pittsburgh tonight. On second and 11 Roethlisberger finds Hines Ward 31 yards downfield, getting the first down and getting Pittsburgh out from the shadow of their own goalposts.

Commercial break and a promo for "Biggest Loser". I could have told you you were a loser if the only way you can put down the Twinkie is to go on televised fat camp. I will wait until one of the contestants dunks their head in a barrel of "Krusty Brand Imitation Gruel". More stars for people that got that reference.

Fourth quarter is underway and Santonio Holmes picks up a first down on a wide receiver reverse.

Pittsburgh is now over midfield, but a penaly, holding on the offense, pushes them pack to their own side of the 50. An awful lot of flags tonight, and Al Michaels agrees, informing us that that was penalty #15 that has been accepted. We follow that up with flag #16 an 5 yarder on Cleveland, so it is second and 9 yards for a first down, or a couple of more 5 yard penalties. The drive peters out though and Pittsburgh is forced to punt.

Cleveland starts their drive with a screen pass that is good for a first down and then some.

Three plays later on third down and long, Kellen Winslow makes a spectacular grab on a ball that he tipped to himself to keep the Cleveland drive alive. For as bad as Cleveland has looked to this point, they are still only down by a touchdown. Third and 7 and Derek Anderson finds Derrick Steptoe for eigth yards and a first down and the drive continues.

Pittsburgh manages to record a sack on the subsequent first down, leaving Cleveland with a second and 16. Anderson finds Jamal Lewis for nine and it is third and 7 again, the clock is ticking down, a little over 5 minutes remain in the game. And I said this was a problem for Pittsburgh last year, again they can't get off the field on third down as Derek Anderson hooks up with Braylon Edwards again.

Another 3rd and 7, this time from the Pittsburgh 20 yard line and less that 3 and a half minutes remain. The pass is incomplete and making for a fourth down and Cleveland is opting for the field goal attempt here. The kick is up and good as Pittsburgh's lead is cut to 4 points, 10-6. The guys on TV are marveling at the call to kick the field goal, I am not so sure. You give the ball back to Pittsburgh and you still need a touchdown to take the lead, the three points doesn't help you all that much. I could be proven wrong, Cleveland could score a TD and win by that field goal, but if you have to get to the endzone at some point and you have had problems moving the ball all night, I think you take your shot there to at least get the first down, if not, work to get a three and out on defense and take another shot when you get the ball back. As it is, you still need a three and out and a touchdown anyway, the difference is whether it is for a tie or the lead, but a field goal on your next possession doesn't help you.

Great, now Al and John are trying to defend there logic for taking the three because the math finally clicked in their head that the field goal doesn't help all that much. They are babbling about a "deflation factor" (isn't that what Viagra is for?) if you don't score and Pittsburgh runs out the clock. Hello? Pittsburgh still can run out the clock here, it is one of the reasons that when you are driving you don't kill the momentum by kicking a field goal.

Another promo for Knight Rider, apparently changing the car wasn't good enough, they need a mechanic that parades around in a bikini. This show just looks worse and worse.

By the way, while I was saying Pittsburgh could run out the clock, Roethlisberger hits his tight end, Heath Miller, with a pass for a first down. Not that I didn't say this could happen or anything, but .........

Willie Parker runs for 4 yards and Cleveland has used all three of their timeouts on the last three plays. Willie Parker again, 14 yards and another first down. I am looking smarter by the play here. The clock has reached the two minute warning, Pittsburgh leads 10-6 and barring either a Pittsburgh score or turnover, there is a very good chance Cleveland won't get the ball back.

Second and 10 and Parker runs again, this time for 4 yards and Pittsburgh has a third and 6 with the clock running. Parker again, just one yard, and it will be fourth and 5. Now the question is will Pitsburgh kick the field goal, or go for it in hopes of running more time off of the clock. They go for it, and a loss of 4 yards on the play and Cleveland gets the ball back, needing 74 yards in 26 seconds.

First down and 10 and the pass is incomplete and killing 8 precious seconds off of the clock. Second down and Pittsburgh gets a sack of Derek Anderson so the clock keeps running and Cleveland just gets a snap off with one second left but the play can best be called a disaster waiting to happen, the pass attempt, and I use the word attempt loosely, goes all of maybe 6 yards before falling harmlessly to the turf and ending the game with Pittsburgh prevailing 10-6. And once again I am proven smarter than John Madden, but that is akin to the reference of going into a battle of wits with the unarmed at this point. Just shove a turducken into the Madden maw already and be gone with ye.

This is where we say goodnight from Pittsburgh, even though the game was played in Cleveland, I am not glogging from there but from here. Nite all.