Asshats, filled out in quadruplicate

Monday

It is brain dead time, which is as good as any in order to blog. Actually it is the time when The Simpsons and Family Guy are on for two hours, which is fine with me. Things have been hectic around these parts both at home and at work, which helps explain why I have been rather lax in posting new content on this thing, at least as far as I am concerned.

I guess the first thing to cover would be the fantasy hockey thing, where this past week was the first week of the fantasy playoffs. The week didn't start off well, I lost two starting defenseman for the remainder of the season, Jaroslav Spacek with a bruised sternum that will only get better by resting and Matthias Ohlund, who had surgery to remove bone chips from his knee. Apparently they didn't get the memo that getting hurt this time of the year is whole out of the question. I picked up Kris Letang and Pavel Kubina to fill the void for the time being. I also was sent scrambling for a third goaltender, as Ty Conklin has been relegated to back up duty with the return of Marc Andre Fleury. I played Patrick Lalime for a while but wasn't getting much support, so I tossed him in favor of Alex Auld. My scrambling managed to pay off, I won the week 6-2-2, meaning my little old 6th seeded team knocked off the #3 seed. Up next is the #2 seed and the worst I can do know is finish 4th overall out of 12 teams, another win in either this or the next round and I get to add to the Yahoo fantasy trophy case.

I also drafted my baseball team for this year. For those of you that have been frequenters of the blog for more than a year or so, you know around this time of year I hope into a fantasy baseball league. Usually my friend George and I team up, as the league is actually two separate leagues and is broken into an American League only and National League only drafts. George has missed the last couple of years, relegating me to just one team, so I am not sure if I can rely on him for this years National League draft, but the American League draft was this Sunday, and I wanted to make sure I was part of at least half of the festivities. The rules are pretty generic, it is a rotisserie - auction draft with a $260 salary cap to fill 23 positions and then an additional 8 rounds of free agent selections after the completed auction. The final results, with the amount of my winning bid for each player;

Vladamir Guerrero - 37

BJ Upton - 30

Ichiro Suzuki - 32

Justin Mourneau - 27

Casey Kotchman - 13

Gil Meche - 9

Matt Garza - 8

Rocco Baldelli - 5

Alexis Rios - 27

Matt Stairs - 3

Vernon Wells - 19

Kevin Millwood - 3

Kenji Jojhima - 7

Dustin Pedroia - 5

Bartolo Colon - 4

Brendan Harris - 3

Evan Longoria - 11

Andy Pettite - 4

Joe Blanton - 3

Clay Buchholz - 1

Mark Buerhle - 2

Brian Bannister - 1

Greg Zauhn - 6

And for free agents

Alexi Casilla

Joel Zumaya

Carlos Quentin

Ross Gload

Dan Johnson

Manny Delcarmen

Brendan Morrow

Wilson Betemit

That kids is the 2008 AL roster.

Before I give up completely on sports however, a couple of notes. The Pens are playing some very good hockey these days, 14 gaols in two games, both without Sidney Crosby. Don't get me wrong, I would rather have Sid on the ice, just so he could get some playing time with the newest Penguin, Marian Hossa, but I am glad the team isn't in a funk simply because he hasn't been playing. Quite the opposite actually, Evgeni Malkin, who has played second fiddle to Sid since his arrival here, has really stepped up his game since Crosby's ankle injury, he is now second in the NHl in scoring, trailing only the guy who was drafted one slot ahead of him a few years ago, Alexander Ovechkin. And the Penguins this year have shown an interest in winning, the Pirates might want to take notice, as they went out and got Marian Hossa at the trading deadline, arguably the most sought after free agent ina push to win the Stanley Cup this year. The Pirates on the other hand, will never spend money and are content to be baseball's laughingstock.

Case in point, last week the Pirates had a spring training game against the Nw York Yankees. In made national sports news because of something the Yankees did, they went and signed comedian Billy Crystal to a one day minor league contract, partially to celebrate Crystal's 60th birthday and partially because he is a Yankees fan. Therefore, Billy Crystal was given the opportunity to stand in and take cuts against a Pirate pitcher to lead off a game. Don't get me wrong, it is just an exhibition game, it doesn't count in the standings or anything like that, but there are guys down there right now that are trying to make the major leagues and putting a 60 year old man on the field to take hacks at your pitching doesn't do anyone any favors, least of all the guys that are trying to make it to the major leagues. But the Yankees know what everyone else knows, the Pirates are a joke, so they can get away with this crap and sure enough, they did, as Pirate pitcher Paul Malholm sent pitches into Crystal at roughly half speed. If I am on the mound, the first pitch goes at Crystal's head. I would refuse to be a publicity stunt for the Yankees. The Tampa Bay Devil Rays, sorry they are now the Rays, don't take this crap from the Yankees, they compete. The Pirates would rather just lay there and take it.

Kudos also to Pitt for winning the Big East tournament and securing a #4 seed in the NCAA tournament. I will have to fill out a bracket for this years tournament for work, I did win in each of the last two years, so I have a streak there to maintain. The office tournament usually pays out by the round, whoever leads at the end of each of the tourneys three weekends wins something. The last two years I have led after the second weekend, which is nice,. I can always use the bonus stuff. Of course it means I will have to be better that 60+ other people, but it isn't like I haven't done it before.

I realize that there has been no popular demand for it, as a matter of fact not a single mention of the missing Asshats has been made, but last I checked I owed 4, starting with last week and working my way back Last week I think I can do without too much background I hope. Can we all agree on Eliot Spitzer? I thought so.

Two weeks ago, we go local, really local and something that garnered absolutely no press coverage at all. Let me say, there used to be a bar in Oakland, my neighborhood, called The Decade. It was the proverbial small club that everybody who was anybody played. Whenever they were in town touring, it was not uncommon for them to drop by and play a set. The walls were lined with artists and the dates they played there, everyone from the Ramones to Bruce Springsteen would stop by this little hole in the wall that probably at max held 300 people. Well The Decade closed a while back, and the bar has changed hand sa few different times. It's current incarnation is called The Garage Door Saloon, which is odd because they have no garage or garage doors for that matter. That is not why they make the Asshat list however. Rather it was a special that they were running, Wednesday nights the beer special was shots of tequila. I am not a big tequila fan, though I know some people are, but what made the night truly special was that they referred to the special as Wetback Wednesday. Yes, in order to sell a couple of shots of alcohol, they opted to package it with a racially insensitive term to Mexicans. Under their logic, I guess since blacks like chicken, they could call their wing special N@@@@@ Night and all would be cool as well. An Asshat to them I say.

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Good morning and welcome to Saturday. Sadly, I started this on Monday, which goes to show my epidemic lack of desire to blog these days. I wish I could put my finger on it, a single thing that removes my desire to write, but there isn't one. Maybe it is because I am not a writer, plain and simple. Or maybe it is just life in general beating me down, I am not sure.

At least Friday was a good Friday, even if not in the religious sense. I managed to make it out of the radio show and while I originally thought that the Pennsylvania primary would be good for business from a talk radio perspective, I am really tiring of the full mooners of both the Clinton and Obama camps. Therefore, the end of the week is always something to look forward to, I can get away from it for more than 24 hours. That being said, as I left the studio on Friday, I Had about 67 dollars in my pocket, an okay amount of cash to get through the weekend, especially for someone like me, who is content to spend a good chuck of his weekend in shorts on the computer or PS2 and can get by on fluid and cigarettes for the weekend. Still, I was thinking as I was about to transfer buses downtown and head for home, that I would get a couple of $2 lottery tickets to scratch off on the bus as a way of passing time. I bought three in all, and the first one I scratched off was a loser, the second was good for $2, which I figured the next time I was at the newsstand or something, I would just get another ticket with it. The third however, was a $50 winner. Now I am thinking that maybe I will have a couple of beers since I have some extra sending cash, and maybe order in dinner. I get off of the bus near Gus Miller's Newsstand, which is my favorite newsstand, simply because it is relatively close to where I live, I know some of the people that work there and they do carry a decent selection of out of town newspapers, including the Washington Post which is my favorite as you all know by now. They also sell lottery tickets, so I figured I would cash in my winners, I took $40 in cash and 6 tickets and headed to the bar for a couple of beers before calling it a day. Well the $12 in tickets won $11, not a terrible exchange on tickets but not a winner either. I stuffed them in my pocket and got to the bar, where I had two beers and with my newly earned cash, played the poker machine for a while. I spent about $30 and won $40, another $10 profit and I figured I better get out of there, after all, Day of Our Lives was coming on and we can't miss a poorly acted soap opera can we? I left the bar, walked to the corner store, where I took $5 in cash and three more lottery tickets, then proceeded to buy a gallon of iced tea, so when I ordered dinner I didn't have to get a beverage as well. I got home, clicked on the TV, flopped down in front of the computer and when looking on campusfood.com for what I may order for dinner. While looking around I scratched off the last of my lottery tickets and lo and behold, another $40 winner and another $2 winner as well. Meanwhile, I find a place that is offering a special on a small cheese pizza for $3.99, so I order the pizza with meatballs (a highly underrated pizza topping if ever there was one, and I get a chicken gyro platter with steak fries. All told, it came to $12, I gave the driver $16, I thought that was a decent enough tip (33%), though with gas prices higher, I find I am tipping more for deliveries to help compensate the driver as best I can, while still realizing that I am far from the wealthiest guy on the planet.

I sat down and watched a little TV last night, the highlight being Charlie Rose interviewing David McCullough, as crap TV by and large is the norm these days therefore I watch more and more stuff on the web instead. I haven't quite gotten to the point where I watch full length movies, but I did watch some episodes of The Office, Family Guy, old WWE matches and a few other things through the course of the week. I also worked on my Pogo badges again, knocking out two of the three challenges, with only Bingo left this week.

Okay, took another break from the blog, to finish the last Pogo badge and grab a couple of beers. While there, once again I dropped money in the poker machine, just $5 this time, but I turned it into $80, and I will take that exchange rate any time. That means I will order dinner in again this evening, because I am lazy and don't want to cook.

I mentioned in the first part if the blog about the basketball tournament. Well I went 23-9 in the first round of the office tournament, not great but not terrible. On the plus side, after the first round I have only lost 3 of my final 16 and none of the final 8 and beyond, so I can still rack up considerable points in the later rounds. Nothing that would break my bracket per se. Maybe it was homerism or wishful thinking on my part, but I have Pittsburgh in my final four, along with Georgetown, UCLA and North Carolina, with NC winning the whole tournament. At least I am not John McCain, who had Connecticut in the final and they got bounced in the first round. That's not good.

Okay, got the grub order in, some chicken lo mien, spare ribs and egg drop soup. I do believe the phrase that I am looking for is "yummy"

One of the reasons that I haven't been blogging as much is that I am trying to finish out a hockey season on PS2. I just finished the regular season and have the #1 seed in the playoffs, but since each round is a best of seven series, I still have a ways to go yet.

Woohoo, food is here, that is a plus. I just fired off an email to a friend of mine that we have been going back and forth about the campaign. I find I am getting drug into alot of these debate type things these days, I wonder if I am intellectually capable of juggling them all. There are days where I think I have all of the answers and there are days were I feel like an idiot. I have tended to shut up more and more n the radio show, simply because Lynn has a candidate that she is backing, me, I just have a party at this point with no particular person better than the other. I will vote against John McCain in November, I can't see Iraq as he does, as a potential 100 year presence of US troops, so whoever wins on the other side, clinton or Obama will get my vote, but their partisan backers that call the show, I'll be honest, I just want to reach out and slap. Mind you I don't find either of them saintly either, I just find them a better option than McCain.

Man, I should order from Chopsticks more often, the eggrool was big, the egg drop soup was most delicious and I just went to pull out my lo mien and they had the decency to put a layer of cardboard in the bad between the earlier goodies and my main course. It is little things like that that I find most impressive.

Okay, two more Asshats, then I am out of here. Three weeks back, the Asshat winner was, Representative John Lewis of the great state of Georgia. John Lewis is what us people in the Democratic party call a superdelegate. Allow me to explain, in order for a person to win his party's nomination to run for President of the United States, they must collect a specific number of delegates through a series of primaries and caucuses that are held in every state. Delegates are allocated either proprtionally or winner take all, depending on any state's particular rules (each state party gets to set the rules for their primary/caucus). As well as those, the Democratic party also has what are called superdelegates, these are people that are granted delegate status based on their work in the party as an elected official. Pretty much any Democrat that has served in Washington, as well as governors , mayors and what not are granted this status, and unlike primaries, they are not bound by what their state votes, rather they are to support a candidate based on their judgement of the candidates that are running. Enter John Lewis. He is one of these superdelegates, and early in the campaign, he was a superdelegate for Hillary Clinton. After Georgia had its primary, and Barack Obama won the state and the majority of the pledged delegates there< John Lewis changes his mind and becomes a Barack Obama superdelegate. better than just changing his mind, he goes on this long drawn out bit on how it was the hardest thing he had ever done. This coming from a man who was part of the civil rights movement and got beaten down for marching in Selma, and the hardest thing he ever did was change his mind. Shut up, will you just shut up. There is no one who buys that, you went the way of your state's voters for the simple reason that if you went the other way, you might not be in office next election season. At least be honest about it and drop the melodrama about how hard it was. And so, the Asshat award for Best Acting Job by a politician who was really just covering their own ass, John Lewis. By the way, no acceptance speeches, you have said more than enough already.

 

That brings us to the last Asshat, and my personal favorite and again it is one close to home, one Donna Belajac. Donna was the local casting director for a movie, "Shelter" that was being shot here. She set about her goal of seeking people that would live in a West Virginia "holler", in her eyes that would be "Extraordinarily tall or short. Unusual body shapes, even physical abnormalities as long as there is normal mobility. Unusual facial features, especially eyes." Wait, it gets better...."Some of these 'holler' people -- because they are insular and clannish, and they don't leave their area -- there is literally inbreeding, and the people there often have a different kind of look. That's what we're trying to get." Mind you, from a western Pennsylvania perspective, this is all quite funny, but from a West Virginia perspective, they were not amused, nor were the producers, who claim they aren't even basing the movie in West Virginia. Needless to say, Donna was fired, but as the movie theme goes, the Asshat award for Best Casting in a motion picture goes to Donna Belajac.

Now that that is done, maybe I will get out of my blogging funk and blog more regularly in the future. For now though, chicken lo mien awaits.