Karaoke Friday - Where I ruin Halloween

I know it is not Friday, you need not harp on it.  At least this time the video in question is early and not late, so that is a plus.  Actually I have tickets for the Penguins game tomorrow night, followed by a shift early Saturday morning so the chance I would get to post anything if I do not do it now is very slim.

This week I thought I would combine Halloween with truly bad music, the bad music part is pretty easy for me, but the Halloween part is a bit trickier.  I jogged through my mental rolodex and came up with this.  Hope you enjoy, but I imagine you will not.  Happy Halloween!!!!

I, I, I, I, I, I, I am being haunted
It's four o'clock in the morning
And I'm sitting on my stairs
And there's bangin' 'round the bedroom

Even though I know there's no one there
And I am here all by myself
And you're somewhere else with someone else
And I am being haunted by a love that isn't there

There is something in my house, my house
It's just a ghost of the long, long dead affair
There is something in my house, my house
I just keep a hearing, you runnin' on up my stairs but you're not there

I, I, I, I, I, I, I am being haunted
I really gotta say it to ya
Ya showed me a good time
But for every minute that you spent laughin'

There were hours that I cried
And I think about what might have been
If I'd never meant that wicked way
That my heart broke into pieces that midnight on Halloween

There is something in my house, my house
It's just a ghost of the long, long dead affair
There is something in my house, my house
I just keep a hearing, you runnin' on up my stairs but you're not there

It's just a ghost of the long, long dead affair
There is something in my house, my house
But you're not there
I, I, I, I, I, I, I am being haunted

And I am here all by myself
And you're somewhere else with someone else
And I am being haunted by a love that isn't there

There is something in my house, my house
It's just a ghost of the long, long dead affair
There is something in my house, my house
I just keep a hearing, you runnin' on up my stairs but you're not there

It's just a ghost of the long long dead affair
There is something in my house, my house
But you're not there

I am being haunted
I am, I am, I am, I

Penguins @ Hurricanes 10/28/2013

Pittsburgh 3  Carolina 1

Brooks Orpik - 3 A

Jayson Megna recorded his first two NHL points (G, A) in the win

Who's next?

     Just sitting here on a Tuesday night, I know it has been a few days since I last put cursor to wordpad and generated anything, but there is reason for that.  However I have my Pandora station working in the background here, so just maybe I will be able to relax a little bit and get some words to come forth.

Penguins @ Maple Leafs 10/26/2013

Toronto 4  Pittsburgh 1

Kris Letang - G

Pittsburgh has lost their last three games

Islanders @ Penguins 10/25/2013

NY Islanders 4  Pittsburgh 3

Matt Niskanen - 2 A

Jeff Zatkoff is 0-2 with a .818 save percentage and a 5.04 goals against average in two starts for Pittsburgh

Karaoke Friday - Just because

Not a lot of backstory to this week's entry, it was on my Pandora station again this week while I was doing paperwork at the desk of despair and just made a mental note that I would need a musical selection for this Friday.  Lo and behold, we have said musical selection




All non-believers stand aside in fear
A new day's marching through the door
How could you ever think you'd make it here?
Did it bleed? Was it sore?
Through the struggles you've endured.

You've come so far from innocence
Provided all the consequence
Only what does it matter now?

Cause you're going home
You're running free
As only you would be if you never owed them anything
And now you've found your way out
In the trust you've seen your path on home

Spend your time well before you go
Here in hell

Your living ends before the engineer
What was your motive in this fight?
(did they play you for the weaker of them?)
How could you ever think you'd make it here?
Was it greed that pushed your heart through the struggles you've endured?

You've come so far from innocence
Provided all the consequence
Only what does it matter now?

Cause you're going home
You're running free
As only you would be if you never owed them anything
And now you've found your way out
In the trust you've seen your path on home

Spend your time well before you go
Here in hell

(There's a hell in all of us)
Spend your time well before you go...
(There's a hell in all of...)
In a lost that's all your own
(There's a hell in all of us)
There are no secrets you can hide
(There's a hell in all of...)
From yourself, in your mind, leave the worst of all behind

Cause you're going home
You're running free
As only you would be if you never owed them anything
And now you've found your way out
In the trust you've seen your path on home

Cause you're going home
You're running free
As only you would be if you never owed them anything
And now you've found your way out
In the trust you've seen your path on home

Spend your time well before you go
Here in hell

Hell of a week (so far)

     First off I guess I should say thanks.  I was busy looking at my Google analytics before I began this blog entry and as it turns out since I got back into writing 8 of my 10 most popular entries ever have occurred since I returned to the page.  I am under no illusion that my writing has somehow become vastly improved compared to some of my older scribblings so perhaps the adage absence make the heart grow fonder is indeed true, or maybe it is just a curiosity killed the cat thing, in any event I wanted to start this entry off by saying thanks anyway, it is greatly appreciated.

Avalanche @ Penguins 10/22/2013

Colorado 1  Pittsburgh 0

Marc-Andre Fleury - 13 SV

Pittsburgh suffered their first home loss despite outshooting Colorado 34-14

Thought for the day

One in three

My spot. I know the last time I blogged from ye olde iPad it was from a spot where Hope and I used to sit, but today I am writing from what I would call my spot, just a bench next to the playground in Schenley Park. As I sit here there are kids playing on the playground, not as many as in the summer, but the weather is getting a little bit cooler which I imagine cuts down on the attendance. Plus it is Sunday, which means the Steelers will be playing and it is not a stretch to think that some people would stay home to watch the football game.

My blogging bench

Canucks @ Penguins 10/19/2013

Pittsburgh 4  Vancouver 3  SO

Sidney Crosby - G, 2 A

Pittsburgh remains unbeaten at home (5-0-0)

Happy Anniversary

Yesterday was the big day of sorts. It has been 25 months, but it has also been one month. I guess I should explain myself a little before I go forward.

Karaoke Friday - What an entrance

I posted some pictures on the blog about a week ago, I was lucky enough to get some tickets to see WWE Raw when it was filmed here in Pittsburgh.  While I haven't been much of a wrestling fan recently, I pretty much stopped watching the product shortly after Chris Benoit murdered his family,  it was still an experience for me to see it live and in person for the first time.  There have been plenty of wrestling events in Pittsburgh in the past, but for any of a number of reasons I was never able to see it live, so I went more because of the novelty of the event for me than any love of wrestling in particular.

It was my trip to see wrestling though that inspires this week's karaoke entry.  As any avid viewer of the product knows, the wrestlers often come to the ring with their own entrance music.  Probably my favorite   would be Edge's entrance theme, "Metalingus" by Alter Bridge.

But what if I were to have an entrance theme?  Just what would it be?    I think it just might be this...

The main attraction, distraction
Got ya number than number than numb
Empty ya pockets son, they got you thinkin' that
What ya need is what they selling
Make you think that buying is rebelling

From the theaters to malls on every shore
Tha thin line between entertainment and war
The front line is everywhere, there be no shelter here
Spielberg, the nightmare works so push it far
Amistad was a whip, the truth was feathered and tarred

Memory erased, burned and scarred
Trade in ya history for a VCR
Cinema, simulated life, ill drama
Fourth Reich culture, Americana
Chained to the dream they got ya searchin' for
Tha thin line between entertainment and war

There be no shelter here
Tha front line is everywhere
There be no shelter here
Tha front line is everywhere

There be no shelter here
Tha front line is everywhere
There be no shelter here
Tha front line is everywhere

Hospitals not profit full
Yet market bulls got pockets full
To advertise some hip disguise
View tha world from American eyes
Tha poor adore keep fiendin' for more
Tha thin line between entertainment and war

They fix the need, develop the taste
Buy their products or get laid to waste
Coca Cola is back in the veins of Saigon
And Rambo too, he got a dope pair of Nikes on

Godzilla, pure muthafuckin' filler
To keep ya eyes off the real killer
Cinema, simulated life, ill drama
Fourth Reich culture, Americana
Chained to the dream they got ya searchin' for
Tha thin line between entertainment and war

There be no shelter here
Tha front line is everywhere
There be no shelter here
Tha front line is everywhere

There be no shelter here
Tha front line is everywhere
There be no shelter here
Tha front line is everywhere

American eyes, American eyes
View the world from American eyes
Bury the past, rob us blind
And leave nothing behind

American eyes, American eyes
View the world from American eyes
Bury the past, rob us blind
And leave nothing behind

Just stare
Just stare
Just stare
Just stare
Relive the nightmare

Read more: Rage Against The Machine - No Shelter Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Penguins @ Flyers 10/17/2013

Pittsburgh 4  Philadelphia 1

Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin - G, A each

Crosby has recorded at lest one point in the Penguins first seven games of the season

Oilers @ Penguins 10/15/2013

Pittsburgh 3  Edmonton 2

Sidney Crosby - 3 A

Crosby leads the NHL in scoring with 12 points (5 G, 7 A) in 6 games

Refresh-ments

And it has come down to this.  Most people here in Pittsburgh are probably getting ready to call it a night, brush their teeth, put on some pjs and climb into bed.  Not me though, not yet.  Thus is the life of a fantasy football team owner.

I entered tonight trailing in my fantasy game by less than 11pts, but my opponent has seen all of his players play, whereas I still had Andrew Luck, the quarterback of the Indianapolis Colts on my team and the Colts are playing tonight against the San Diego Chargers.  11pts from a quarterback usually isn't that big of an obstacle to overcome, in fact based on what Yahoo sports projected my score would be, I should end up winning tonight rather easily.

Funny thing about projections though, they are not reality, if reality can exist in a fantasy sports game. So as I am typing to you right now, Andrew Luck has contributed 5 points to my team and the game has entered the second half of play, and the Colts are trailing 13-6.  So I am scoreboard watching, or at least statistical board watching, hoping that somehow Luck (and right now I may need a little Luck) can come up with 6 points in the next 30 minutes of football, without making any drastic mistakes. 

As I type, the margin has shrunk ever so slightly, I now only trail 89.38-85.16, but I am down to 20 minutes of game time left.  I have lost two games already this year, one by less than two points, and a third loss may be the difference at the end of the year between being in the top four and qualifying for the playoffs and spending another year wondering "What if?"    Check that, I now have 85.76 points, the lead is less than 4 points for my opponent but the Colts have punted the ball away.

For all of the talk about how fantasy sports aren't real and it is just a game, I think this is why I like them so much.  A simple game, being played thousands of miles away, and the home team (Pittsburgh Steelers) not playing, and yet here I am on the edge of my seat because this game now has meaning to me specifically.  And I am sure there are people out there to whom tonight this same type of story is being played out.  Okay, so maybe they don't have my exact roster, but tonight maybe they have Andrew Luck in their league, or perhaps it is Ty Hilton, or Philip Rivers, or Antonio Gates; but for them and their fantasy team a potential win or loss may hang in the balance on one play that was made, or a played that was missed.  A pass was caught, or a pass was overthrown.  A fumble occurred.  A penalty had a potential scoring play called back.  Any of a number of things can happen in any given week, in any particular game and that one play, or two plays make make the difference between a win and a loss.  Not that every game comes down to one or two plays, like any game, sometimes you lose and it wasn't all that close, or you started someone who got hurt early on and you spent the rest of the weekend playing short handed, but it is moments like this, where a game hangs in the balance, the difference between a win and a loss hanging on the next 15 minutes of football, that are the call of this game for me.  It adds excitement in a place where there wouldn't normally be any. 

So excuse me if I don't write anything significant tonight, I think I will be hitting the refresh button on my league website every few minutes or so for the next 30 minutes, just to see if I can pull out a win, or suffer a gut wrenching loss.

Detours

Can't say as I planned on my day ending up this way, but to a certain degree it has become expected, and I guess part of it is my own fault anyway.

Penguins @ Lightning 10/13/2013

Pittsburgh 5  Tampa Bay 4

Sidney Crosby - Hat Trick (3 G), A

Crosby has recorded a point in every game this season (5 games)

Penguins @ Panthers 10/11/2013

Florida 6  Pittsburgh 3

Evgeni Malkin, Craig Adams, Pascal Dupuis - G each

Craig Adams has 3 goals in 4 games, he had 3 goals in 48 games last year

Karaoke Friday - No!

Wondering what I should do about a Karaoke Friday now that I am back on a semi regular basis.  I didn't want to go the route I went last week, where I am pretty sure I did use that song once way, way back when I was a wee blogger.  So instead I decided rather than make a choice, I would let someone, or something, make the choice for me.  So I hopped over to my Pandora station and the first song that came up was the winner this week.  And lo and behold, this is what I got

Oh, kiss me
Lick your cigarette then kiss me
Kiss me where your eye won't meet me
Meet me where your mind won't kiss me

Lick your eyes and mine and then hit me
Hit me with your eyes so sweetly
Oh, you know, you know, you know that, yes, I love
I mean I'd love to get to know you

Do you never wonder?
No, no, no, no

You girls never know, oh, no, you girls will never know
No, you girls never know how you make a boy feel
You girls never know, oh, no, you girls will never know
No, you girls never know how you make a boy feel
How you make a boy

Oh, kiss me
Lick your cigarette and then kiss me
Kiss me where your eye won't meet me
Meet me where your eye won't lick me

Lick your mind and mine so briefly
Oh, you know, you know you're so sweetly
Oh, you know, you know, I know that I love you
I mean I, I mean I need to love

Do you never wonder?
No, no, no, no

You girls never know, oh, no, you girls will never know
No, you girls never know how you make a boy feel
You girls never know, oh, no, you girls will never know
No, you girls never know how you make a boy feel
How you make a boy feel, how you make a boy

Sometimes I say stupid things that I think
Well, I mean, I, sometimes I think the stupidest things
Because I never wonder how the girl feels
Oh, how the girl feels

No, you boys never care, oh, no, you boys will never care
No, you boys never care, how the girl feels
You boys never care, you dirty boys will never care
No, you boys never care, how the girl feels
Oh, how the girl feels, oh, how the girl feels

Idle musings

And so it begins, another trip to the Squirrel Cage, just a way for me to relax and unwind as we near the end of another week. I say near because of course I will be in again on Saturday morning to do my usual grocery order and I have bills that have been voucher end that need filed, as well as the better part of a week's worth of invoices that need done yet.
Not that my Friday is over yet, when I get done eating dinner (I am craving me a Cajun chicken sandwich right about now) I still have to go to our Oakland store and reload the lottery machine for this weekend. So while I am leaving work, this is more like a break than the actual end of my day.
I am sitting on the back of the 65 Squirrel Hill, it is a bus route that stops right outside where I work and while it runs within a block or so of my apartment today I am riding it past that point, through Schenley Park and right into Squirrel Hill. After all, it would be pretty stupid if the Squirrel Cage were located in, say, Morningside, wouldn't it?
Honestly I have no idea just where it is that I am going with this entry, just going to write and see what comes of it. I have noticed an uptick in traffic on my page since I came back. I guess writing helps in that regard. Of course linking this on my Facebook page probably helps as well. So there are some check ins that are people that have been around for a while, just as there are some check ins from new places as well. Not all of them are necessarily wanted, both Ruth and her boy toy Dean have been on here multiple times. Perhaps if Dean's wife Anne were aware of what her husband was doing in his free time, he might be more worried about things at home and less worried about things here.
My food has arrived, and as is always it is scrumdillyicious. I just love me some fresh cut French fries. The obligatory iced tea arrived again without me even requesting it. Me thinks they know me a tad to well here.
We got our swap of tickets this week at work, the store has season tickets to the Pittsburgh Steelers, and we swap with our grocery provider where we give them seats to 4 Steeler games and in turn they give us tickets to 8 Pittsburgh Penguin games. So far they have sent us tickets to 7 games, 2 against Philadelphia, 2 against New York (Rangers), 2 against Washington and 1 against Vancouver. Each game we get 4 seats in the Captain Morgan Club (face value 172.50 each) and hopefully it will be able to go to one of the games, though that will be up to those higher up the totem pole than me. I know that I will be asked to try and sell some of them, just as I was handed the task of selling the Pittsburgh Pirate playoff tickets this month. The Pirates had three home games before being eliminated in the National League Division Series 3 games to 2. We had 4 tickets to each of those games, the wild card play in game where the face value of the tickets was $37 and I managed to get $100 each for them and the NLDS where we had 8 tickets (4 for each game) and the price went to $44 each, I managed to get $250 for each of those tickets. I got a small commission for my work (5 percent), so I am not complaining too much. It is one of the times I am glad that I am the only one in the office who knows anything about the internet. The prices may seem like people overpaid to see a game, but really it is just a testament to how starved this town was for a winning baseball team after 20+ years of futility. Many people that were going to the games have never actually seen a winning team ever, unless they were watching another team play on TV.
I forgot how spicy a good Cajun chicken sandwich can be. I am out if iced tea and my tongue is all tingly, so I am stopping for a cigarette until either my tea gets refilled ( though the bartender is really busy) or until my tongue calms down a bit.
I have a running joke with Sammy at work. It used to be that whenever one of us was having trouble in their relationship, the other one was getting along very well with their significant other. So the other day when I went in to work, I looked at Sammy and said "Since my relationship is over that can mean only one thing, you have to get married to keep the karma between us in balance."
What else can I write about as I sit here? Hmmmm. Well I did draft another fantasy football team this year, though the league I had been in for 20+ years has officially disbanded. I suppose I should be sad about it, it was a good collection of guys and it was fun and all, but it was starting to get to be a bit much with everyone scattered all across North America trying to find a time when we would all be online at the same time, then trying to collect money from everyone and all of the arm twisting that goes into that process (ask any fantasy league commissioner how much fun that can be). On one hand you are friends with everyone, so you don't want to come off as a prick, on the other you almost have to send someone out to break kneecaps to get some people to pay up. It was much easier when we all drank in the same bar, now it is an exercise in futility. This year I just opted to hop into a free league on Yahoo ( one of the few things Yahoo has that still works), and drafted a team there. After 5 weeks I am in third place ( based on the point scored tie breaker) with a 3-2 record. Of course my team is slowly being knee capped as well ( perhaps they didn't pay their league entry fee). David Wilson, who single handedly cost me a win in week 1 by registering negative points, hurt his neck and is out, Owen Daniels broke his leg and will miss 4 to 6 weeks, and both Calvin Johnson and Andre Johnson are nursing injuries at this point and will be game time decisions on Sunday. At this rate I will just have the last man standing turn out the lights on my fantasy season.
Well the bar is filling up, I should probably finish my iced tea and head back into work. Time to make the donuts.

No writing here

Just some pics from Monday night and my first live wrestling event.  Pluses would include appearances by Bruno Sammartino (he lives in Pittsburgh and it was his birthday the day before, so the crowd sang "Happy Birthday" to him, and Shawn Michaels.  Minuses would be no AJ Lee, of which I am still heartbroken.

Hurricanes @ Penguins 10/8/2013

Pittsburgh 5  Carolina 2

Jussi Jokinen - Hat Trick (3 G)

Pittsburgh is off to their best start (3-0-0) since 1994-1995 when they won their first 7 games

The last Sexican

The writing was on the wall, or at least the door for a few months now. The name of the restaurant two doors down from where I worked changed, gone was the name “Mexico City” and in it's places was “Vicky's Mexican Restaurant”. The menu didn't change, nor did the staff that worked there, only the name changed. I can't speak as to the quality of food, OI never actually ate there, but whether it was good or bad I can't see where that changed very much either since they kept all of the staff on board. Usually this is a sign, and not a good one, one that suggests an attempt to dodge creditors or existing debts. But continuing to do the same thing, under any name, when that thing wasn't working in the past does not bode well for a business's future.

Shave and a haircut

     Just got back from the live broadcast of WWE Raw ere in Pittsburgh tonight.  Wasn't on my agenda when I first started the day, but through a little bit of luck and just being at the right place (work) at the right time, I ended up with tickets to the show.  What happened was that our owner, Brian, had requested tickets for the next WWE event in Pittsburgh from 7 Up.  7 Up has the beverage rights to Consol Energy Center, so they are also afforded a box in the building, and they will sometimes use the seats in their box as a perk for their more favored accounts.  Brian was scheduled to get four of those tickets for tonight's show, he was going to take his kids, not realizing that when he first requested them that the show would end up being on a school night, making taking children a less than advisable proposition, since by the time the show ended and he had driven home it would be after midnight.  Son instead he decided not to take his kids, leaving us at the store with four free seats to tonight's show.  I had never actually been to a live wrestling show, so I wanted to go and I knew that Sammy was asking about the show for weeks now, so he and I used two of the four tickets and just had a fun night out, a night which I probably needed more than I would care to admit.

     I have been spending too much time recently rethinking everything that has taken place in the last two years between Ruth and I, mentally going over everything and trying to discern just what was truthful and what was a lie.  The more I think about everything though, the more I end up falling back on Occam's razor, the idea that the simplest explanation for things is usually the correct one.  The simplest explanation for most everything that happened is that most everything was a lie.  Take for instance the most recent events involving her and Dean.  If she would be believed based on what she told me, she was no longer in touch with him after a fight we had about him in February, but that would mean I would have to buy an entire litany of excuses for why she opened a private photo account for him in April, added him to her Facebook account in May, had his contact information on her iPhone when she came to visit in June and the fact he has visited this blog recently, not from links from Google in the UK where he is from, but from links for Google in Canada which is her home country.  So I could believe the numerous excuses she used to explain all of that, or just the simplest explanation, despite her saying otherwise, what was taking lace between them never really stopped at all, no matter what she told me to the contrary.

     But then I start to work mentally backwards, all the way back to almost the very beginning and her marriage and subsequent divorce.  To hear her tell the story, her husband was a hockey player, he was drafted by an NHL team, and apparently he was abusive towards her and after years of abuse she finally got a divorce, but only after an altercation between those two that resulted in him ending up in jail because a weapon was involved.  Sounds interesting enough, there is an Alan Graves who was drafted by the Los Angeles Kings, but he played only in the minor leagues in the WHL and the IHL for teams that were thousands of miles away from her hometown of Halifax, so if things were that bad at home, there would have been ample opportunity to leave because half of the year he would have been at least half a country away.  Plus there is no reference in any media outlet of this encounter, and if there is one thing I have learned living in a city with three professional sports franchises as well as plenty of collegiate teams, any time an athlete of any reknown is involved in an altercation, it will at least make the local papers.  There is also the fact that while her ex husband was allegedly in jail, he was also listed on her son's hockey team website as a coach as recently as two years ago.  Add to that the fact that during one of our audio chats a boy entered the room and she told this boy to go with his father, and while she was here on her first visit I received a strange phone call from a man saying that I was with his wife, and well I could either once again buy the litany of excuses that I was handed or apply Occam's razor again and just chalk most of those up as lies.

     But what to make of all of the lies then, why tell them, what is the purpose?  Well I could be wrong but the simplest explanation I can come up with is  she is someone who just loves attention, especially when that attention has a sexual component to it.  When she doesn't get the attention she either needs or thinks she deserves one of two things occurs, she either manufactures a drama of some sort in her head in hopes that it will create the attention she desires, or she seeks out someone else who will perform for her in a masturabatory manner.  (Did I just make up a word?)  I would think that her husband's lack of attention in that department (especially if he was away for months at a time) sent her on the web looking for replacements, and what better way than to come up with a sob story to prospective online suitors, and when he got wind of what was taking place in his absence that was probably the end of their marriage as much as anything. 

     Not that this explanation makes me feel good, it makes me feel stupid for falling for it actually.  I shouldn't have been so gullible that I shut off logic and common sense at the drop of a hat and bought the first (or second, or third) line that was being fed to me.  I should have walked away after the first lie, because one the behavior is established, there is little chance it would ever change.  Or at least I should have put a betting line out there, maybe an over/under on the number of lies in any given day and tried to make a few shekels off of it at least.  Sorry, I guess I violated the 9th Rule of Acquisition "Opportunity plus instinct equals profit".  I would have made a very bad Ferengi.

     Anyway, it is late, I need sleep, work comes in a couple of hours.  Toodles.

     

Sabres @ Penguins 10/05/2013

Pittsburgh 4  Buffalo 1

Marc-Andre Fleury - 20 SV

Sidney Crosby, Chuck Kobasew, and Craig Adams all scored a goal for the second straight game

Sunday morning

     Sunday morning.  I suppose that for some people this would be a day of rest, not that I worked all that hard mind you.  For me it was just a day to reload one of the lottery machines at our Oakland store.  Given the store is so close to where I live anyway, it is all of a hop, skip and jump until I am there.  Getting out of the house isn't a bad thing either, the less I am sitting at home just mulling over what has taken place recently, probably the better.  Right now everything has that feel of newly frozen ice to it, the more I tread on it, the more likely it is that I will break.  There is still a large amount of justifiable anger and betrayal I feel, and it would be so easy to continue to give in to that mindset.

     Instead I am sitting in what I hope will be a calming place, the spot where Hope and I used to come all the time and just sit.  Usually those trips would not involve a lot of talking on either of our parts, but it was just being here in her presence that was a calming influence on me, now I find myself sitting in the very same spot, looking to recapture some of that lost magic, hoping that those pleasant memories can replace some of the more painful ones that are all to fresh in my mind at this point.  Ideally I would probably be best served if someone could come along and just wipe the last two years from my mind completely, but I know of no one who has that ability, so for now it is just my cross to bear.

     The first thing I noticed when I sat down here wasn't anything I had seen or heard, but rather the smell.  Not that this particular spot has a distinctive smell, but when I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, for just a moment I was transported back to my grandparent's camp, how the back yard, which was almost entirely shaded due to the number of tall trees there and the air just had a cleanness to it.  My uncle, Will, and I used to play whiffle ball in the back yard and we would always jokingly refer to that place as the Astrotreedome, as if we were taking are almost daily whiffle ball games we played on the road, instead of normal patch of grass we would use when back at home.

     Perhaps that is the start, just a simple memory of whiffle ball, that will set things off in a more positive direction.  It certainly can't hurt, and it is not just good, but good and true, and I am longing for truth these days.

     Gibran.  Another thing that just came to me as I was sitting here.  It was Hope who introduced me to "The Prophet" one day while we were sitting here.  Many of our quiet times here involved us reading, her a book of some kind, usually poetry and me, well I would be lugging along a copy of the current day's newspaper.   Occasionally we would share something we had come across in our respective readings, maybe it would be something profound, maybe something silly.  Whatever it was, it was just the experience of sharing something with her, in those moments there really was no place I would rather have been.  The experience could best be described by a line from Gibran's book, a book that Hope had shared with me, "A friend is a need answered."  Yes, she most certainly fit the bill in that regard.

     Sorry, I am smiling again.  More pleasant thoughts dancing in my head, this of our trip to the ballet to see The Nutcracker around Christmas time one year.  I remember wanting to do something special for her, so I splurged a little bit, probably more than was fiscally responsible for someone of my age and income at the time, and got us two center balcony seats to the show.  I opted for my attire a white tuxedo with teal tie and cummerbund and I thought, as the oldsters might say, that I was the cat's pajamas.  Hope had no idea I had rented a tux for the occasion, we didn't compare wardrobe notes prior to our evening, so I was going to show up at her house looking all dapper.  I get to her house, she is upstairs getting ready and I am talking to her mom while sitting in the living room and then she comes down the steps.  Honestly, I might as well have been wearing parachute pants or something, because as good as I thought I looked, she absolutely just blew me away.  I felt like a kid trying to impress his parents, there was me trying to look amazing, and then there was her and she just was amazing.  Simple as that.

     Well, as I sit here my coffee is getting cold.  I almost wish it were colder out that it is today, if for no other reason that what would make sitting here perfect would be for snowflakes to fall.  That is probably my most cherished memory of her, that no matter what we were doing or where we were, for the first snow of the year, whether it be a blizzard or just a couple of flakes that would land and melt away as quickly as they arrived, we would drop everything and meet wherever and have a hot chocolate together.  It is something that even though her and I have drifted apart (for reasons that I have blogged about years ago and have no need to rehash here) I still find myself doing every year for the first snow.  I would like to think that is something she remembers as does as well, and while I can't be certain of that, believing that she does is probably more comforting that actually knowing definitively one way or the other.

     Anyway, like it said, my coffee is getting cold and I still have to walk home.  Plus I don't want to burn off my iPad battery before I finish this.  But I needed this, maybe as much as anything right now.  Something that could remake this page my own again, without the influence of anyone or anything else.  If this keeps up, it may just feel good to be back.

Karaoke Friday - Normalcy

I know, I know, it's not Friday, you don't have to tell me that much.  But if I am going to get back on the blogging thing, I need to start doing some of the things I used to do, this would most certainly be one of them.  I can't say as I am ready to attempt to blog every day again just yet, or even most days, but this place is as good a place as any to escape life, even for a couple of minutes.

As for the video, I probably used it before, I am thinking maybe way back in the 360 days (the song is not recent after all), but it was one of the first ones that came to mind this evening when I sat down and decided I would do this again.  As always, feel free to sing along, or not, your choice.





I find you in the morning
After dreams of distant signs
You pour yourself over me
Like the sun through the blinds
You lift me up and get me out
Keep me walking but never shout
"Hold the secret close", I hear you say


You know the way it twists and turns
Changing color, spinning yarns
You know the way it leaves you dry
It cuts you up, and takes you high
You know the way it's painted gold
Is it honey? Is it cold?
You know the way it throws about.
It takes you in and spits you out


Oh, cuts you up
Oh, cuts you up
Oh, cuts you up
La, la, la...


On and on it goes
Calling like a distant wind
Through the zero hour we'll walk
We'll cut the thick and break the thin
No sound to break, no moment clear
When all the doubts are crystal clear
Crashing hard into the secret wind

You know the way it throws about.
It takes you in and spits you out
It spits you out when you desire
to conquer it, to feel you're higher
To follow it you must be clean,
with mistakes that you do mean
Move the heart, switch the pace
Look for what seems out of place

Oh, cuts you up
Oh, cuts you up
It's okay it goes this way.
The line it twists, it twists away
Cuts you up and spits you out
Keeps you walking, but never shout
La la la...

Devils @ Penguins 10/03/2013

Pittsburgh 3  New Jersey 0

Marc-Andre Fleury - 27 SV

6 different Penguins recorded a point in the win

Buctober begins

Sights and sounds from last night, the first post season baseball game played in Pittsburgh since 1992.

Viewer mail

Often times when you open a magazine, either in the front or the back you will find comments, letters to the editor if you will.  I thought, when looking for something to write about this evening I would take the same tack.  I mentioned yesterday that I did receive some feedback from my first blog post in what seems like forever; from Mel who happens to be my cousin so I should expect that her feedback would be more positive than negative, and Ruth, who was the subject of that entry, so of course her feedback would be more negative than positive.  Admittedly I probably provoked some of this feedback with my first email to Ruth, but it is a comical exchange nonetheless if only because it shows such a disassociation with the truth and perhaps reality as well.