B365V4.6 - Go go Gadget Fudge

     So this is one of those blogs where I am not going to change the names to protect the innocent (or guilty) but I will be compelled to hide a few details in case someone does a google search someday.  Don't get me wrong I like blog traffic, for the right reasons, not sure this is a right reason though.

     Anyway, I got a call at work today from Damian (that name alone should lead one to think evil) from such and such company.  It was a small company, you probably hadn't heard of it, it even took a while for the company name to ring a bell in my head, but anyway, we carried their product (fudge) many moons ago.  They had some killer fudge too, it was way tasty, they even had this mint fudge that was to die for.  Well, maybe not that extreme, guess it depends on how much you value your life and all that jazz.  Anyway we had gotten a few deliveries from them, it was a higher quality fudge, (which means it costs more to you the customer) and we had a little success in selling it, though it certainly didn't blow the doors off or anything. 

      The thing was, the next time I would see the fudge guy wasn't during a delivery, but in the pages of Mugshot Mania, a local who's who of the incarcerated or soon to be incarcerated set.  Our delivery guy was wanted for something involved with sexual contact with a minor or something like that.  Of course I chimed in and said, I wondered if he lured  kids to the van with fudge, and thus a new Smithfield character was born, Fondling Fudge Guy.  Fondling Fudge Guy joins the Smithfield pantheon of Fucking Chicken Lady and Jesus on a Stick Guy, though I have never seen the last two in Mugshot Mania. 

     Apparently they are restarting the fudge business and wanted to garner our interest in carrying the product.  I finished the phone call in as noncommittal fashion as I could and  quizzed Sammy (who has helped with the naming of the pantheon, he coined Crazy Canadian for the ex, whose distance from Smithfield keeps her out of the pantheon, but not from being the subject of one of those crazy Lifetime movies some day) asking him to guess who I just talked to.  Of course he had no clue, I would have never planned on that phone call myself, but I almost too excitedly shouted out, "the Fondling Fudge Guy".  Then we started singing the Inspector Gadget theme song, because we always do that when talking about sexual predators and who is a bigger creeper than Inspector Gadget.  He had the white van to toss kids in, and always wore that creepy trench coat with the crazy gadgets in it to impress the kids.  I wonder if he had fudge in the coat pockets.