Little Kiddie Pee Ponds and other misadventures

The original intent was that I was going to blog Friday night. I had even went about starting a fairly lengthy blog, it was at least better than halfway done, when once again that old nemesis known as Third World Oakland reared it's ugly head. A nice evening, dare I say a quite balmy evening and me all content to type away and what should happen but for no reason at all the electricity went out. Not only did it go out, but it completely messed with my internet access, leaving me spending the better part of an hour trying to get everything working again. It turned out that I had to reset the modem just to once again make myself web worthy, but by the time I had all of this accomplished, I was just too tired, what with starting the job Saturday morning and all, to go back and rehash everything that I had already hashed once.

So I figure if I get home in time from work, maybe I will have time to once again try my hand at blogging, I wasn't sure how long I was going to be at Wal Mart, I imagined most of what I was doing would be just paperwork and training videos, and on that mark, I was not disappointed, as that was all I did. I don't know how many times I need to be told how to clean up a spill or not to lift things with my back, but it was quite the tedious day. The highlight of it was being sent on lunch break, only to be sent to the employee lounge where a very attractive, spiky red haired female with an Eastern European accent came in and was talking to some of her fellow employees, and all I could think was, "Damn, I wish the Cold War was still on, because I am intrigued as to how she would get information from me." Of course, after lunch it was right back to the training videos and what should be my first one but the video on sexual harrassment. Good thing I got those thoughts out of my head prior to the video. The day ended around 3pm, but I did a little shopping after work, and by the time I actually got home I had been out of the apartment for a good 12 hours. When I finally did get home, I was having some serious keyboard issues, so much so that I solved them by impaling the keyboard into a wall. I tried tinkering with the built in keyboard that XP provides, but it was too much of a pain to type with for extended periods of time, so I just waited until today and bought me a new one, one that works I might add, woohoo indeed.

All in all, things weren't as bad as I thought they might be at Wal Mart. As well as the normal paperwork, we went over life insurance, the option of buying into the benefits plan, the 401 K. Mind you, this might be the first part time job where a 401 K plan was even offered, let alone that the company pays into it for free, as opposed to the radio station, where if we want one, we have to kick in some cash and then the company will match to a point. Depending on how much I like the new gig, I may eventually add some of my own cash to it as well, as that is one of our options.

So since this week is pretty much over, I guess this blog is going to be pretty much the week that was. Not a lot of things happened prior to my first day back into the two job workforce, but there were some things of note. Friday saw me take my first trip to the 'Little Kiddie Pee Pond" as I like to call it. I had been holding off for a while now, hoping I wouldn't be sucked in my the allure of cool water on a hot summer day, but after three days of just sweltering heat and humidity numbers in the 70% range, I finally broke down and did it. The "Pee Pond" as it were, is the public pool in Schenley park. It is all of about a five minute walk from my apartment, and for the paltry sum of $4, you get to swim for hours. The good thing is that there are girls in bikinis there, some of them are even easy on the eyes, the bad thing is that there are also lots of little kids there, and we all know what little kids do in the pool, thus my nickname for the destination. I stayed in the deep end of the pool, where fewer kiddies dare to tred. They are less likely to walk around peeing on you when the pool is twelve feet deep. When they grow up a little they will master the fine art of peeing and swimming at the same time, then they will truly be dangerous, but for now it takes all of their concentration to try to make it look like they aren't peeing, so if they try it in the deep end, they will just sink like a rock.

I took my book with me, which I finished finally, during swim breaks. The pool was open from 1pm-4:30pm for everyone, after 4:30pm it was to be adult laps. I qualify under the adult part (barely), but I wasn't out for a competitive outing, I just wanted to have some water splash over me and check out some babes in bikinis, that's all, so I was there for maybe a couple of hours, then came home.

I did manage the two pogo challenges this week. I started my personal, but every time I am there, I get drawn into playing scrabble instead, so chances are I will not complete the personal badge this week. I did manage to get an additional game award badge for completing another 30 word searches, so technically I did get three, even if one of them doesn't count for anything.

Funny thing did happen on the way home from the radio station Friday. I was finishing up my production work and Carol offered to give me a ride home. The only stipulation was that she had to run by Restaurant Depot on the way. For those that don't have one, a Restaurant Depot is a place where bars and restaurants can go to get their equipment. Much like a Sam's Club or Costco, you need to be a member to shop there, but you can get everything from industry sized refrigerators, to neon lighting to food in bulk. They have some good deals, like they had chicken for .79 a pound, but you had to buy 40 pounds of it. As much as I like chicken, I don't need 40 pounds of it laying around the apartment. Anyway, as we are on our way over to the Strip District, because Carol had to purchase some things for a church event she was helping to cater, we get stuck behind a guy in a little sporty Honda convertible. That in and of itself wasn't that bad, but on the back of the car he had a bumber sticker that read "I Don't Need Little Blue Pills in a Bottle, I Have Two Balls and a Throttle" to which I said, I suppose it is better than, 'Don't Mind the Car, My Junk Still Works". That is honestly the first time I have ever referred to the male genetalia as "junk" but it just seemed so appropriate that I couldn't help myself.

Excuse me if I type with my mouth full here, one of the things I snagged after work yesterday because I didn't want to cook was a 16" hoagie, since it was only $4.98 and I knew at that size I could get at least two meals out of it, half of it was my dinner yesterday and the second half is my dinner today. That and good old fashioned homemade iced tea (as opposed to the store bought stuff, that while good, really doesn't taste like iced tea).

Sos anyway, I was thinking the other day, as I saw another of those campaign commercials and all of the hullabaloo over whether or not we should drill for oil here and the only answer I can come up with is, does it really matter all that much? Oil companies are not nationalized here (unlike say, Venezuela) and while I am not for nationalizing them, by rule, they are going to sell that oil, whether it is drilled here, or in Timbuktu, to whoever pays the most for it. so regardless of whether we drill off of the coast or in Alaska, if the Chinese are willing to pay more for oil than we are, at the end of the day, it is just more oil for them, not us. That doesn't mean we shouldn't drill here, but lets not lose our heads by saying if we drill here it is an instant panacea to all that ails us.

 

Okay, enough with the political chatter, I am sure there will be plenty of time for that in the days and weeks to come. Besides, one of the things that got wiped out the other day compliments of the electrical grid that is Third World Oakland is the Asshat, so I am down two. I think I will do them in reverse order, just because I am funny like that. So last week's winner is Holly Benson, Holly come on down and take a bow. What's that? You've never heard of Holly Benson? For shame, she is the secretary fof the Agency for Health Care Administration in the great state of Florida. Holly was recently interviewed and was asked about how the economic downturn might affect people's health. Holly, take it away......"Just because you're poor doesn't mean you're unhealthy; it just means you have a lot more time to go running," I haven't had this many laughs since the current Adminisration said that they were going to do away with hunger by calling it "low food security". Holly, really, come on down and pick up your prize.

The second of the Asshats, from two weeks ago, goes to another New York Yankee. Really, I don't mean to pick on them, but lets admit it, Jason Giambi's thong sharing was Asshat worthy. I would argue that Alex Rodriguez can now share a thong and an Asshat with his New York teammate. For those that don't know, A Rod is one of the highest paid athletes in professional sports, he garners a cool 25 million per year to do his thing with the Yankees. To make sure his riches were taken care of, he talked his current wife into signing a prenuptual agreement before doing the whole "I do" thing. Smart thinking there, if something happens and it just doesn't work out, A Rod would keep most of his money. Of course a prenup is also dependent on both sides living up to their end of the bargain, which is where A Rod wasn't quite as smart, as he has taking a liking to Madonna's vagina. Talk about anti Star Trek, to boldly go were everyone has gone before. That's A Rod, putting his 25 million dollar salary on the line for that. Yikes, so much for the prenup. If it only costs him half, that is still 12.5 million and unless he got some huge bonus for being the 1 millionth customer served, I can't see where this is a smart thing. Hell if it was me, if I gave Madonna 12 cents to sleep with her, I would still expect change back. But as for now, I got me 12.5 million reasons why A Rod is an Asshat.

And before I go, just one more thing, it's coming soon to a computer near you.