Incomplete Vending

Good evening kids!!! Yes it has been a while since I have done this, so excuse me if I am a tad bit rusty here. Just sitting down at the Squirrel Cage, having a little dinner out for a change and thought I would take the opportunity to write something. Sadly I have picked the wrong booth, the people in the neighboring booth are still bitching about Bush/Cheney. I will try to tune that out as best as possible, given that was what, 4 years ago? Yes kids, I have more than moved on from that era.

Anyway, ;like I said, it has been a while since I told a story around these parts, and since today is a special occasion of sorts, the first sighting of Jesus on a Stick Guy in months, this seems like as good a time as any to tell one of the work related variety.

Our story involves a gentleman by the name of Johnny B (to be referred to hereafter as JB, because I am too lazy to type) and his company, Complete Vending, with which we do business from time to time. Complete Vending is an outfit that deals in a variety off products, from them we get everything from equipment, like freezers and such, to some overstock items that he picks up in his wanderings. The thing is, Complete Vending is a bit of a misnomer, because I would be hard pressed to think of a single business transaction we have had with him that has been remotely beneficial for us.

Some of our business dealings we have had with him have turned out like this, JB came to us a couple of years ago saying that he had extra cases of Powerade he was looking to get rid of. That is a product that we would just normally buy from our Coke vendor, we don't sell a ton of it, so we usually only keep one case as backup in our stockroom or each flavor we sell. But JB talked Ed into buying about 30 cases of the stuff, so the Complete Vending truck arrives and I proceed to catch this stuff and put it away, wondering just how we will ever move this much product, when I find that we ended up with a

bigger problem, almost half of the order was either past the sell by date when it came of the truck, or it most certainly would be before we ever got around to selling it.

If that were the only problem with JB and Complete Vending one could chalk it up to a mistake, but that is just par or the course when dealing with this outfit. They sold us two freezers, one of which didn't work properly from the moment it came of the truck, they sold us a cooler or our deli that, when we plugged it in, saw a plethora of stink bugs come out of the vents; they are who we deal with on all matters regarding our coffee set up, from the urns and brewers we use to the product we sell and their cappuccino machine has never worked properly, often times spitting out nothing but hot water rather than hot chocolate, French vanilla, etc. When JB was questioned about this, he simply said that we needed to clean it more often. It took nearly two years for them to realize that the problem wasn't cleaning, but actual broken teeth on the gears inside the machine (a problem that they still haven't fixed by the way). Complaints about the coffee he provides and how awful it tastes were met with the same response, we don't clean the machines often enough. It doesn't matter that one of managers took a packet of this coffee home, brewed it in his own pot and came back and said that, yes the coffee does suck, the fault all ours, because to hear JB tell the story, he has this coffee in 200 restaurants and everybody loves it.

Well, fast forward to about a week ago. Remember that I said that we bought two freezers from JB, one of which was useless from the moment we plugged it in? Well about a week ago the other one died as well, roughly 7 months after we purchased it. So a number of people tried calling JB, including our owner Brian, and JB would not return any of the calls. When asked what we should do, since we were still buying our coffee from JB after all, Brian said to not give him a dime, find someone else to get coffee from for the time being. So I placed some calls and found out that grocery provider could provide us with cappuccino mixes and coffee for the time being, so I went head and ordered 12 cases of coffee.

Brian said, that if questioned by JB, just say that the reason we haven't bought any coffee from him is simply that we still have plenty in backstock. Now maybe it was the fact we haven't been buying anything from him, maybe he decided to do his job and actually see what was wrong with the freezer he provided, I don't know, but yesterday who would show up in our store but the ever so elusive JB. Not that he actually told anyone he was coming, he just showed up and started walking about the place like nothing was the matter.

Brian comes upstairs and proceeds to talk to JB for a while, what was actually said I really have no idea, but JB was acting like they were long lost buddies, just looking to catch up on old times. Maybe they talked about the broken freezer, I do not know (though we still have it and it is not fixed or replaced) but at the end of his visit JB decides to grab a cup of coffee for the road. So he goes and pours himself a cup and does whatever it is he does to his coffee, takes a drink of it and looks at Brian and says, see this is how the coffee should taste when you clean the pots regularly. Yes, JB is so fucking stupid he didn't even realize that the reason the coffee tastes better is because it isn't the shit he sells us.

Okay, my dinner is eaten, the plate taken away and I am enjoying my after dinner cigarette and iced tea, so I guess it is time to put a wrap on this and pack up the laptop and go home. Till later kids, I am outtie, like a belly button.