B365v4.16 - And so it ends

So anyway, my last blog was a tad depressing, but at least the main reason for that was because of mostly stupid decisions I made, this will not be the case today.

Remember long ago blog readers when I wrote about my grandmother's passing and how divisive it ended up being for the family, well, i can say that my mother's passing had an almost reuniting effect, if because there is a shared dislike of my mother's husband.  And it didn't take long for that to come forth during what will be called Funeral Week.

FW began last Monday, bright and early, if one could say that 2:20 am is bright (which it isn't) or early (which it is).  It was at that point that I got the phone call from my mom's husband that she had passed away in her sleep.  It was something that I have had ample opportunity to prepare for, she had had multiple strokes previously, each one stripping another piece of her away, to the point where she would see hallucinations and she couldn't remember how to perform the simplest of tasks.  So when word was first received that she had had another one, my thoughts went to is this the final one? or what will be left of her? if she pulls through this one too. 

The signs were there when i went to visit her, both in the hospital and at the nursing home she was moved into.  She had a palsy now on the left side of her face, she was going to need therapy to be able to talk and swallow properly after this one, as well as the expected physical therapy that they would most expectedly do.  In that regard I am glad she went into a nursing home, i know she would not have gotten that level of care and attention at home. 

But her condition continued  to deteriorate, she was put in the DNR list, so should she have another episode that was going to be it for her, plus she wasn't eating or responding to any therapy attempted.  Finally last Sunday she was going into hospice care, having been through that with a number of other relatives, at that point you are just playing out the string until they die.  Hospice care didn't last long, from Sunday afternoon until the 2:20 am phone call Monday morning.

I immediately texted my bosses, letting them know i would not be in Monday morning, made my way home where i got to my mom's house and waited.  I had to pick out the outfit she would be buried in (my aunt Carrie helped with that, because my fashion sense goes as far as shorts and comic book t shirts) and a 2pm meeting at the funeral home to schedule how this was going to play out.  My mom's husband tells us, they have a $10,000 life insurance policy to work with as far as arrangements go, which alleviated some of the burdens on my mind. 

So we get to the funeral home, my aunt Carrie came with us, probably a good thing she did, otherwise i might have made a scene with what transpired.  We go down into the basement of the funeral home where they have the planning office located and the funeral director starts talking and says I understand you have a life insurance policy you want to use to defray the costs of this, to which Mike says yes and hands over all of the policy information.  Turns out he got the policy after her stroke and subsequent hospitalization, probably after she was put on DNR status.  The director said he would talk to them, but chances are they would contest paying any claim, as well they should, the policy didn't become active until Sept 1st, my mom died on the 8th.  Of course they are going to launch an investigation into what amounts to fraud.  But his carelessness at best, criminal behavior at worst, doesn't solve the problem of burying my mom.

The funeral director looked at me and asked if i could help with the cost of the funeral, i said probably but needed to make a phone call first.  I called Ed in Florida, who spotted me a $2000 loan on my future paychecks to help with the cost, which turns out I am on the hook for $3700 worth of the funeral, unless we just want to keep her alying around above ground indefnitely..  Anyone who may end up planning my future funeral, just strap a cement block to my ankle and toss me off a bridge into the river, it would be far cheaper and easier.  The decision was made for one viewing, with the service immediately thereafter on Thursday. After the meeting Mike asked if i was going back to spend time with him, to which i said no, i have to be back in Pittsburgh to work in the morning.  He asked if i got bereavement time off, I said I just asked my boss for $2000, I think he has done enough, I need to get back to work paying that off now.

Not that I couldn't cover subsequent payments, and/or paying off my boss, but a bunch of family members also kicked in, stating on their donations that their money was only to cover my half of the funeral, seems as none of them were all that pleased with the insurance scam bullshit either.  Plus they did lots of other things that i didnt even think of, my aunts (Carrie, Mary and Amy) put together photo boards.  I saw pictures of my mom as a little girl that i didn't even know existed.  Mary also opened her home to everyone prior to the service, so the family had a nice little get together before everything.  For my part, i guess I was there (where else would I be after all) and I made the decision  on one viewing followed by the service at the funeral home.  I didnt see the need on dragging this out over a few days.

The service and what not went off without a hitch, I kept my mouring to myself, but then I am always like that.  few people get to see me cry, so if you are on that list consider yourself lucky, or at least close enough to me to witness something as rare as a yeti sighting. 

Mike has since called me, he keeps thinking the insurance claim will pay out, I keep thinking it pays out if he ends up in jail for his stupidity.  But he asked me when i was coming up to go through my mom's things to get what I wanted.  On one hand I probably should, but I have a level of anger right now that a face to face between us is not a good thing.  with my affinity for holding grudges, not sure that is going to subside any time soon.  As long time readers of the blog well know, which would be none of you, most likely you stumbled upon this place all happenstance and stuff, I haven't spoken to my father since before i started blogging many, many moons ago.