Sunday, December 20, 2015

B365V2.167 - The Inverse Penis Reaction Fun Hour

So this is what two days off in a row feels like.   My mental batteries are starting to recharge, and I am mentally starting to string together ideas that have nothing in common in order to try and be funny.  And it all started with a Saturday morning cartoon.  Go figure.

I was putzing around the apartment Saturday morning, flipping through channels on TV, when I fell upon something I hadn't seen in years.  People at work have heard me sing the theme song before, "Up from the depths, 30 stories high, breathing fire and his head in the sky."  Yes on one of the obscure digital channels  ( no cable for me, as you all know) I found a rerun of the old Godzilla cartoon.  Let me say, it wasn't as good as when I was as a child.  People riding around on a boat, getting into trouble (Johnny Quest rip off anyone) and as soon as they do, one guy presses a button on his belt and Godzilla shows up and defeats the bad guys.  Not exactly Shakespeare is it?

Apparently that got embedded in my head, as well as the idea of Saturday morning cartoons in general as I made my way out the door to do some Christmas shopping. No real plan to my shopping mind you, I just picked a mall and started browsing, if I saw something appropriate, I bought it.  So my sojourn saw me head into Bed, Bath and Beyond.  I found a couple of things there but when I went to check out I saw a pack of Scrub Daddies.  For those not into Shark Tank, it was an idea pitched a couple of years ago, it is a sponge that is a hard scrubber until it gets warmer in water, then it just acts like a sponge.   I had need of such a device in my kitchen so I bought a pack for me, the only thing I bought for myself the entire trip, killing the rumor that I am all about me, even if that rumor is 100% true.

I finished up my Christmas shopping and went home to made dinner.  While making dinner I decided to open my package of Scrub Daddies, and they worked just as advertised.  Wet with cold or cool water they were all kinds of scrubby hard, but as the water got warmer they got softer.

So I get up this morning, and on my way out the door I see the scrub daddy on my counter, I grab it and feel that it has mostly dried out and that it was once again hard.  In science they call this the inverse penis reaction, the warmer something gets the softer it gets.  It also works with snow, so next spring instead of the snow thawing, just look at your kids and tell them to go outside and play in the snow before the coming inverse penis reaction takes place.

I leave my house, doing a Sunday stroll over to the South Side so I could buy stuff to make Christmas dinner at work on Friday, or at least attempt to.   And I started combining my Christmas trip with the Saturday morning cartoons, and I came up with a great idea for a Saturday morning cartoon, The Inverse Penis Reaction Fun Hour.   You could have all of those cold super heroes and villains on it, starring Iceman and Captain Cold.  Anyone who gets weaker as they get warmer.   Don't laugh, you know you will watch.

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